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21st December, 2005

Tiger Taliban

by Rohin at 3:25 pm    

I’ve linked the Asia Times in my next post. When I was perusing the site, their top story caught my attention. As of now, I can’t find a great deal more to substantiate these claims.

Apparently the Taliban-led anti-US resistance, who now reside between Pakistan and Afghanistan, have grown close to the LTTE, or Tamil Tigers of Sri Lanka. The article claims that al-Qaeda (wait a second, I thought we were talking about the Taliban?) deemed the US Cole attack a failure and as a direct result, sent a team to enjoy the Jaffna gin and Colombo casinos and pick up maritime expertise from those salty sea dogs, the LTTE. More inside.

In other news, the latest issue of Britain’s leading Asian fashion magazine, Asiana, has just come out. Now just take a look at what sits atop their hot-or-not column. That’s right baby, Pickled Politics is HOT. The issue promises its readers the 50 hottest eligible brown bachelors in the UK, but has committed a grave judgement error in the selection of one particularly geeky, malnourished PP staff writer ;)

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13th December, 2005

Rupees for questions, blogger shtyle

by Rohin at 1:21 pm    

Sunny has chosen a great time to piss jet off as I’m working silly hours (hint hint other writers!) I briefly wanted to mention some hilarity in the Brown Blogosphere. I realise some of the gags may be a bit too obscure for those who aren’t followers of the main desi blogs, but it’s pretty amusing nevertheless.

A joint sting operation (great phrase) set by CobraPost and Aaj Tak has ensnared eleven Indian MPs. They were bribed by a phantom group, comprised of Indian journos-cum-bloggers. I shan’t write too much as it’s a bit off beat for most of our readers, but the reason I bring it to your attention is one of the questions posed, which cracked me right up:

“Is it true that while NRI firms such as India Uncut of USA, Sepia Mutiny of Britain and AnarCap Lib of Netherlands have been allowed to invest in Indian SSIs, the reputed German investment firm Desipundit has been denied permission? If so, the reasons thereof? Is the Union Government of India planning to make automatic the long procedure of permission for SSIs to import new technologies such as Trackbacks, Pingbacks, Blogrolls, Splogs and Hitcounters?” [Link]

Whilst you may not recognise the ‘NRI firms’ (all blogging colleagues of PP), the thought of an Indian MP asking about importing pingbacks and blogrolls is hilarious! Neil Hamilton never made me laugh this much.

And Anna, Sepia Mutiny’s resident looker, takes the blame for her American site being labelled British:

it’s my fault…all my “s/z” and “o/ou” substitutions…they thought we were even closer to pickled politics than we are. ;)

Lastly - following up on our Imperial College piece, the uni have cracked under surprisingly-vocal-for-Imperial student pressure and caved on the hoodie/face cover ban. I wasn’t challenged once when I wore a hoodie there, although I never launched my main plan of sporting a bulky rucksack and beard. What’s odd is that they’ve also recanted their call for ID cards to be shown. What the hell? How is that unreasonable?

10th December, 2005

Christmas is coming early

by Sunny at 7:41 pm    

For me anyway. I’m off on holiday early next week to the US of A for a few weeks to visit family, so coverage may be a bit sparse here. I’m sure you should be spending that time with the family anyway. Mine usually have a massive Christmas dinner with plenty of veggie food for some of us non-meat eaters and I will sorely miss that. But hey, I’ll be spending new year’s eve in Las Vegas so I guess that compensates.

However I may end up in Starbucks (ach-thoo!) a few times and read up on news and blog ocassionally. Let’s not kid ourselves, it’s hard to stay away for too long from your blog.

On another note, Justin from Chicken Yoghurt has done a round-up of political blogs that have launched in the second half of this year for The Sharpener. Cheers to Jarndyce for recommending us. They unfortunately missed out Cynical Bastard.

PS - While I’m holidaying, please don’t hesitate to send me links to stories you’ve covered or have seen so I can catch up on news and write about it.

PPS - If any silly people try to ban the word ‘Christmas’ over coming weeks, I hope my comrades in crime will be brutal in their piss-taking.

Filed under: Humour
9th December, 2005

Is this too hot for you to handle?

by Sunny at 5:26 am    

“Oh, rosy faced one, are you the personified numen of Respect, Renown or Resplendence, or the Felicitous Lakshmi herself, or oh, curvaceous one, are you a nymphal Apsara, or the numen of Benefactress, or a self-motivated woman, or Rati Devi, the consort of Manmatha, the Love God.

“Your teeth are evenly, smooth and their tips are like jasmine buds, and your whitish broad eyes are spotless, reddish at ends, and pupils are black.

“Your hips are beamy, thighs burly akin to elephant’s trunks, and these two breasts of yours that are ornamented with best jewellery are rotund, rubbing and bumping each other, and they are swinging up and up, their nipples are brawny and jutting out, and they are smoothish like palm-fruits, thus they are covetable for they are beautiful.”

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Filed under: South Asia, Culture, Humour
8th December, 2005

Mossad is coming for you!

by Sunny at 2:43 pm    

David T has been following MPAC’s hysterical rantings since Westminster University banned their “debate” on Zionism.

First the rudeboys were apparently getting death threats, then they blamed a Zionist conspiracy, now its the Israeli secret service Mossad*! Who next? Bets are the Global Illuminati, the Freemasons or Mickey Mouse may also be implicated. Wmin uni has a more sane explanation.

Apparently people at Masjids and Isocs were caught sleeping again. Mpac must have them on CCTV surveillance, it catches them sleeping constantly!
* MPAC have since removed the Mossad article to save face.

30th November, 2005

The Indian way to do business

by Sunny at 6:04 pm    

A conversation between Mr. Baboo-Ji, an Indian Ambassador in Washington D.C., and his son.

Baboo: “I want you to marry a girl of my choice.”
Son: “I will choose my own bride!”
Baboo: “But the girl is Bill Gates’s daughter.”
Son: “Well, in that case … ok.”

Next Baboo approaches Bill Gates.
Baboo: “I have an Indian husband for your daughter.”
Bill Gates: “But my daughter is only 18; too young to marry!”
Baboo: “But this young man is a vice-president of the World Bank.”
Bill Gates: “Ah, in that case … ok.”

Finally Baboo goes to see the neo-con scum Wolfowitz, President of the World Bank.
Baboo: “I have a young man to be recommended as a vice-president.”
President: “But I already have more vice- presidentsthan I need!”
Baboo: “But this young man is Bill Gates’s son-in-law.”
President: “Ah, in that case … ok.”

Hey, it mentions the world “neo-con” so its current affairs, ok! [cheers Pintu!]

Filed under: Humour
29th November, 2005

East Indian Jews representin’ in TO

by Sunny at 1:32 am    

East Indian JewA bit belated, but I found this ad (on the right) funny.

The Toronto Jewish Film Festival ran it in May this year [via SM]. You just feel like giving him a big hug.

More on Indian Jews can be found here and here.

I have to be honest, I don’t know much about that community, and they generally seem to keep to themselves like the Parsis.

And just for a laugh, here is funny picture from the Sikh Spinning Wheel film festival, also in Toronto, earlier this year.

Filed under: Religion, Humour
27th November, 2005

Crazy Conservative Women

by Al-Hack at 10:28 pm    

In the beginning there was Ann Coulter. The crazy-ass right-wing nutter ranted and raved successfully for years before suddenly going a bit quiet. Then came Michelle Malkin, not only better looking and ‘ethnic’ (trips up the liberals you see), but she also reigns supreme in the blog-world.

There are other pretenders to the crown, but Conservative America has always loved women. The cuter and angrier the better.

You may notice I’m being quite sexual. Sure, Malkin is hot. But, like most American Conservatives, both are short on facts and understanding, and better with outrage and opinion. As that is all there is to them, you are left to just checking them out. But I digress. The UK has its own carbon-copy Melanie “dark days ahead” Phillips. More outrage and opinion and, just to be clear, no longer checking out material. Same old, same old.

So what was my point again? Ahh yes, I was reading Daily Kos about Ann Coulter, when it hit me - we need a desi version! Why? Well, bloody why not?

A desi Crazy Conservative would surely shake things up and get some good mud-slinging going. It’s just getting too easy to make fun of the MCB, HFB, SF and their bretheren. And you know there ain’t nothing hotter than a woman who drives you mad with her right-wing views. Anyone know any candidates?

25th November, 2005

The Islamic dance party

by Fe'reeha at 4:42 am    

It was but fate that after reading posts on South Asian hypocrisy here on Pickled Politics that I ended up being at such an interesting event this week.

The best way to describe the experience of being at what the organisers called “an Islamic dance party” is perhaps - unbelievably interesting…

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Filed under: Religion, Humour
24th November, 2005

The sexual politics behind Harry Potter

by Sunny at 1:58 am    

As Harry Potter mania continues in the UK, it is worthwhile mentioning the fact that the latest installment has two young British actors by the name of Shefali Chowdhury and Afshan Azad, who play Parvati and Padma Patil.

But this being a thinking person’s blog and all, we can’t do gratuitous filmi plugs without anything worthwhile to offer along with it. Blogger Ink Spill has written a piece on sexual politics in Harry Potter and why she thinks Hermoine is letting the girls down.

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Filed under: Culture, Humour
21st November, 2005

Naughty naughty!

by Al-Hack at 5:34 pm    

The Guardian has a list of ‘offensive’ words on TV that are used as a guideline by some people. Here are some examples relevant to our esteemed readers.

  • Twat
    Very polarising; female sexual anatomy word; offensive esp. to British Asian females and some women from other groups, but many esp. men think it is an everyday word and quite mild
  • Chi-chi man
    This is part of a group of words where you can insult people because of their sexual orientation; and seen as quite offensive by the African-Caribbean parent group, and potentially (if used aggressively) by the younger African-Caribbean males. Hardly anyone else knew what this word meant.
    [been told some Africans also use ‘cha-cha man’ to refer derogatorily to Asians]
  • Punani
    Many are not sure what this word means; African-Caribbean groups and British Asians do know it and think it is offensive. Somewhat less offensive than cunt. Used in Ali G, became less offensive because he uses it.
  • Wanker
    Quite offensive to British Asian women and older men, but for most it is quite mild - equivalent to ‘tosser’
  • Paki
    Racial abuse which is generally considered very offensive. Not offensive to some if taken into ‘ownership’ by British Asians/Pakistanis and used peer to peer. However, some (white) people think it is non-offensive to talk about going to the Paki.
    Which ones are offensive to you, and would you not have them on TV?
Filed under: Media, Humour
17th November, 2005

The south Indian sex scandal beyond belief

by Sunny at 5:50 am    

Indians are not exactly known for their liberal views on sex, but the latest scandal in India is far-fetched by most standards.

In September, an actress by the name of Khushboo, who works in the South Indian (Tamil) film industry, said in an India Today survey that it was ok for girls to indulge in pre-marital sex as long as they took precautions to avoid unwanted pregnancies and STDs. She later justified her statement by saying no educated man could expect his partner to be a virgin. Not exactly earth-shattering one might say, but this is India.

Events since went something like this: First, local political parties protested against her remarks, going as far as calling for her to be ‘deported’ from the state (wtf?). Protests mushroomed as parties tried to make political gain. Her friend Suhasini Maniratnam (wife of the famous Mani Ratnam of Bombay fame) defended her but then also faced protests. Even Miss Universe Natalie Glebova backed her but to no avail.

So what happened? Various groups filed a total of 25 defamation lawsuits against her. After an appearance in court yesterday, she was given conditional bail. The case is now adjourned for December 16th. Apparently she has severly “hurt Tamil sentiments”.

Now close your mouth and please pick up your jaw from the floor. The Indian media has unsurprisingly gone mad over the story. While they’re happy to report it, no one is willing to ask why the politicians are jumping over themselves to condemn her, or even point out that she is simply giving sensible advice that may - you know - help against India’s AIDS problem. The media there really needs a kick up the butt to challenge its politicians.

Filed under: Media, South Asia, Culture, Humour
15th November, 2005

Yes, pigs do fly

by Al-Hack at 6:15 pm    

Remember the story about Halifax and Natwest banning piggy banks because they might be offensive to Muslims? The media loved the story, the blogs loved it, but it was pure rubbish. Not excessive political correctness, just plain made up.

Does it need to be pointed out that certain people jumped on this news with glee about “sensitive Muslims” without checking their facts? Nah, that would be too obvious.

14th November, 2005

The oppression of the Brown man

by Nooruddean at 3:02 pm    

The brown man is oppressed. Not by another people holding him down, nor by physical confinements of mortor and steel. No - the brown man is oppressed by the confines of his own mentality.

We cannot demand help from others if we are not willing to help ourselves. Oh no. Self-respect demands respect, not the other way around. And so I say, look inward for the answer brothers and sisters, look inward.

And so I ask you to refer to the attached example to site the pitiful state we are in, dear friends.

Continue Reading...
Filed under: Culture, Humour
9th November, 2005

Muslim pick-up lines

by Al-Hack at 2:03 am    

I just had to post these:

1. Oh my gosh! I just saw part of your hair, now you’re obliged to marry me.

2. Our parents engaged us when we were little; they must have forgotten to tell you.

3. I’d like to be more than just your brother in Islam.

4. To watch you pray is a sin of its own.

5. Will my platinum VISA cover your dowry?

Continue Reading...
Filed under: Culture, Humour
5th November, 2005

Omar Bakri in action?

by Al-Hack at 12:22 am    

Politically correct? No. Funny? I thought it was amusing. The Police Federation seems to be in a bit of bother over it though, BBC says. If they labelled the escaping imam as Omar Bakri I would even believe it!

Filed under: Religion, Humour
3rd November, 2005

Fox News on the Civil Rights movement

by Sunny at 4:04 am    

If it had been around that is, heh!
Fox News prism has more. [Via slow|afternoon]. Also see: Outfoxed - good documentary.

Filed under: Media, Humour
1st November, 2005

Hindu painting on Royal Mail stamp shocker!

by Al-Hack at 8:55 pm    

Another day, another religious body offended over something. This time, the Hindu Forum of Britain is not happy that a Royal Mail stamp has a Hindu family fawning over baby Jesus. [via Mediawatchwatch]

The stamp, featuring a man and woman with Hindu markings, is one of six depicting images of Madonna and child from around the world.

The Hindu Forum of Britain has asked for it to be re-designed without the Hindu markings or withdrawn. Royal Mail, while apologetic, said it was not possible to amend or withdraw.

BBC story. And pray, why exactly is the HFB offended this time?

Ramesh Kallidai, secretary general of the HFB: “…it would be insensitive to use it at a time when the issue of conversions in India has been a subject of heated debate.”

Commented Ishwer Tailor, President of the HFB, “Would the worldwide Christian community feel comfortable if the Government of India issued a Diwali stamp with a Christian priest offering worship to Baby Krishna?”

That’s some funny shit. I can just imagine them writing an angry letter to the Congress party to do exactly that just to spite Royal Mail. Kallidai adds:

Even if we accept that an artist in 1620AD took the artistic license to portray practising Hindus worshipping the baby Christ, we should be asking if this is politically and sensitively correct in the 21st century…. blah blah…bitch bitch…moan moan

To be fair, they had a reason to be annoyed over the picture of Hindu gods being put on shoes, but this takes the piss. Update: More at the Telegraph.

Filed under: Religion, Humour
28th October, 2005

Censorship over stupid things

by Sunny at 3:37 am    

The immigration minister Tony McNulty says journalists “haven’t got a clue what they’re talking about” when it comes to asylum, and strongly cricised the Press Complaints Commission yesterday. “If PCC guidance worked then we would not have all the rubbish we see in the media regarding refugees and asylum seekers.”

I think this is the first time he has actually slammed the PCC, a toothless body full of executives who are supposed to regulate themselves. Roy Greenslade gave some great examples a few months ago.

Papers have been guilty of publishing false stories about asylum-seekers: the Sun, notoriously, claimed that unspecified “East European poachers” were killing and roasting swans from the Thames while the Daily Star alleged that Somalians had rustled donkeys from Greenwich park in order to eat them. The Daily Express ran a splash alleging that police had arrested two Lithuanian asylum-seekers linked to al-Qaeda who were plotting to kill the prime minister.

Senior police were so outraged by the falsity of the story that they issued an unequivocal denial, calling it “rubbish” and pointing out that the Express reporters had been told in advance that “no security issues were raised by their arrest”. The men, who might not even have been asylum-seekers, were probably involved in a drugs-related offence and were deported.

The media prefers not to acknowledge how this false reporting leads to more racism in general.

Meanwhile, former minister Keith Vaz, who clearly has little else to do now, is trying to get the upcoming game Bully, to be banned. Talking about the same theme, Rob Fahey of GamesIndustry.biz ain’t too happy.

This reminds me of the stupid spectacle of Hillary Clinton getting hot under the collar over the sex-scene in GTA3: San Andreas. Hello! Find something better to do with your time, please?

15th October, 2005

Indian blogosphere continues attack on institute

by Sunny at 4:34 pm    

Heh, like a swarm of bees circling around to attack, Indian blogs are keeping up pressure on the academic institute IIPM. It is currently Technorati’s most searched term. More on the controversy here.

The annoying thing is, most of the Indian media is too scared to carry the story, presumably because IIPM spends a huge amount on advertising every year in the press, although the Indian new channel NDTV did a short story. According to Press Talk, IIPM may be releasing a statement to the media. No one knows where all this will lead, but at least IIPM is unlikely to keep making wild claims in the press to attract poor students.

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