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  • Stupidest press release ever

    by Sunny
    26th February, 2010 at 4:34 pm    

    I got this random press release by email yesterday. I feel sorry for the people who have to write this tripe:

    “The 47% increase of violent crime in Slough makes a mockery of the Home Secretary’s crime policies,” says former US Navy Seal Tim Larkin.

    Alan Johnson will be embarrassed by the figures from Slough, which were released earlier this month, when he launches his ‘Anti-social behaviour and Tackling Knives Action Programme’ today.

    Larkin, who is the creator of ‘Target Focus Training’ which teaches how to kill in four moves, held a two-day teaching forum in Slough last year and has vowed to return in September.

    “There is obviously still a huge job to be down in Slough and many other areas of Britain. Violent crime is obviously spiraling out of control,” said Larkin.

    The Home Secretary is currently considering if he should be excluded entry to Britain under rules banning visitors who spread “violent messages”.

    Larkin, from Las Vegas, believes British youngsters need to toughen up in face of escalating knife crime. He teaches that some violent situations require ’a kill or be killed’ mentality. “An attacker with his windpipe swollen shut will drown in his own vomit,“ he commented.

    What the fuck?? This guy is going to reduce violent crime?

                  Post to

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    14 Comments below   |  

    Reactions: Twitter, blogs
    1. pickles

      Blog post:: Stupidest press release ever

    2. Matthew Taylor

      RT @pickledpolitics: Blog post:: Stupidest press release ever

    3. Matthew Taylor

      @tmwrnj From Vegas to Slough:

    4. Political Animal

      RT @pickledpolitics: Blog post:: Stupidest press release ever

    5. MartinLeJeune

      RT @pickledpolitics: Blog post:: Stupidest press release ever *magnificently insane*

    6. Noelinho

      RT @pickledpolitics Pickled Politics » Stupidest press release ever

    1. cjcjc — on 26th February, 2010 at 4:42 pm  

      He needs four moves to kill?

      What a wuss.

    2. Benjamin Gray — on 26th February, 2010 at 4:50 pm  

      The guy washed out of SEAL training. Looks pretty idiotic to me, and likely to end up doing more harm than good I you end up in that sort of situation.

    3. Morrigan — on 26th February, 2010 at 5:06 pm  

      Heard you on Asian Network earlier. As the head of Pickled Politics (and who could forget Asians In Media?!) any chance we might get a discussion thread about today’s news?

      Don’t make out I’m telling you what to write, your whole purpose in life is to cover this kind of news.

    4. Sunny — on 26th February, 2010 at 6:06 pm  

      Morrigan - you’re the stalker aren’t you? You ring up whenver I’m on radio and call me a marxist/communist etc. The climate change troofer who called when I was on Asian Network last. That’s you isn’t it?

    5. GetLabourOut — on 26th February, 2010 at 6:59 pm  

      Makes you wonder why he’s a “former US Navy Seal” doesn’t it…

      From the website:

      “Here at Target Focus Training we show you why your best self defense in a life-or-death situation is injuring the other guy. It’s what makes us so different.”

      I’ve done Krav Maga and they say the best self defence is to get the f**k out of there! Think I’ll stick to that one ;-)

    6. Don — on 27th February, 2010 at 2:42 am  

      I’m a Llap Goch adept, and I mock your Krav Maga.

    7. GetLabourOut — on 27th February, 2010 at 9:43 am  


      I bow to your far far superior skills!! Mind you, surely you should have got in BEFORE I made my comment ;)

    8. sofia — on 28th February, 2010 at 11:38 pm  

      far too many steven seagal films

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