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  • Crazy Conservative Women

    by Al-Hack
    27th November, 2005 at 10:28 pm    

    In the beginning there was Ann Coulter. The crazy-ass right-wing nutter ranted and raved successfully for years before suddenly going a bit quiet. Then came Michelle Malkin, not only better looking and ‘ethnic’ (trips up the liberals you see), but she also reigns supreme in the blog-world.

    There are other pretenders to the crown, but Conservative America has always loved women. The cuter and angrier the better.

    You may notice I’m being quite sexual. Sure, Malkin is hot. But, like most American Conservatives, both are short on facts and understanding, and better with outrage and opinion. As that is all there is to them, you are left to just checking them out. But I digress. The UK has its own carbon-copy Melanie “dark days ahead” Phillips. More outrage and opinion and, just to be clear, no longer checking out material. Same old, same old.

    So what was my point again? Ahh yes, I was reading Daily Kos about Ann Coulter, when it hit me - we need a desi version! Why? Well, bloody why not?

    A desi Crazy Conservative would surely shake things up and get some good mud-slinging going. It’s just getting too easy to make fun of the MCB, HFB, SF and their bretheren. And you know there ain’t nothing hotter than a woman who drives you mad with her right-wing views. Anyone know any candidates?

                  Post to

    Filed in: Current affairs,Humour,Media

    56 Comments below   |  

    Reactions: Twitter, blogs
    1. Indigo Jo Blogs

      Shock news: Arabs don’t wear poppies. Cabbie talks out of his backside.

      Melanie Phillips today linked this tragi-comic piece of Front Page drivel, The First Step to Britishness Is Your Poppy. In it, Carol Gould describes how she was accosted by some idiot of Arab origin who noticed her poppy and demanded…

    2. Clive Davis


      Al-Hack, over at Pickled Politics, thinks British Asians need their own Michelle Malkin. I know he’s only half-serious, but it’s true - the UK could do with a lot more op-ed diversity. Although an ethnic version of Ann Coulter remains

    1. j0nz — on 27th November, 2005 at 10:37 pm  

      Oh jeez. How comes we get Melanie Phillips *shivers* and the yanks Anne Coulter and Michelle Malkin?!

    2. Soniyeh — on 27th November, 2005 at 11:40 pm  

      There aint nothing wrong with right - wing views! Love Melanie Phillips ….. who the hell are the others, though?

    3. jamal — on 28th November, 2005 at 12:08 am  

      My girlfriend is a prime candidate for this, which is why im not telling her!

    4. douglas — on 28th November, 2005 at 12:41 am  

      Melanie Philips,

      gets to wear
      a poppy,
      And then, writes,
      All sloppy.

      (This lady will be in Private Eye, what with her belief in the archetypal accuracy of the opinions of London cabbies, although the Arab guy, if he existed outside her imagination, is a nasty dude too. I say, send him home to Bermondsey andgive him an asbo. maybe, given some of her other comments, she should get one too.

    5. Sunny — on 28th November, 2005 at 2:26 am  

      Michelle Malkin is very hot. I caught her on Fox with Bill O Reilly once, and although the conversation was hilarious (“oh this media is so biased and liberal”), she seemed pretty intelligent. But she is married with kids :(

      I would have nominated Anila Baig on the Sun but she’s still lefty. Apart from Nush, I don’t know a single right-wing Asian woman. How bizarre is that.

    6. Bikhair — on 28th November, 2005 at 2:48 am  

      I consider myself very conservative and a hater of liberals and dirty hippies. Why not me?

    7. Bikhair — on 28th November, 2005 at 2:50 am  


      Anila Baig is a cutie pie MashAllah, she would look even more beautiful (though this shouldnt be her goal) if she wore niqab. All you would see were those pretty brown eyes.

    8. Sunny — on 28th November, 2005 at 3:05 am  

      Firstly, you’re not in the UK. Secondly, you’re not a commentator in the media. Thirdly it would be easier to lampoon you than the MCB. At least they are half sensible.

      Just take your last comment as an example. Just how exactly is one “more beautiful” by covering themselves up completely. That’s like saying “you’ll feel more full up if you don’t eat”. And surely the whole point of a niqab is that you don’t check a person out, therefore to try and be beautiful by covering up completely is an oxymoron. For your own sake, don’t try and get into the media as a commentator.

    9. Old Pickler — on 28th November, 2005 at 3:06 am  

      You lot are so beautiful when you’re being sexist.

    10. DavidBruno — on 28th November, 2005 at 7:45 am  

      Julie Burchill, anyone? ;-)

    11. Vikrant — on 28th November, 2005 at 8:05 am  

      Isnt Ann Coulter the ass who talked about converting Arabia to Christianity?

    12. Geezer — on 28th November, 2005 at 9:42 am  

      Isnt Ann Coulter the ass who talked about converting Arabia to Christianity?[Vikrant]

      She also made a colossal ass of herself when fox news covered a peace demonstration in Ottawa Canada and she bellowed out like a rabid banshee “they [Canadians] need us, they better pray that we do not roll over one night and CRUSH them!”

      Bob McKeown of CBS TV then went on to interview her and quite rightly called her to task over her comments, she then royally goofed up a second time by saying how “Canada used be a one of our loyal friends”, and “sent troops to Vietnam”. Mckeown corrected her but she was having none of it, here is the transcript and a link to the actual video footage…

      COULTER: “Canada used to be one of our most loyal friends and vice-versa. I mean Canada sent troops to Vietnam - was Vietnam less containable and more of a threat than Saddam Hussein?”

      MCKEOWN interrupts: “Canada didn’t send troops to Vietnam.”

      COULTER: “I don’t think that’s right.”

      MCKEOWN: “Canada did not send troops to Vietnam.”

      COULTER (looking desperate): “Indochina?”

      MCKEOWN: “Uh no. Canada …second World War of course. Korea. Yes. Vietnam No.”

      COULTER: “I think you’re wrong.”

      MCKEOWN: “No, took a pass on Vietnam.”

      COULTER: “I think you’re wrong.”

      MCKEOWN: “No, Australia was there, not Canada.”

      COULTER: “I think Canada sent troops.”

      MCKEOWN: “No.”

      COULTER: “Well. I’ll get back to you on that.”

      McKeown tags out in script: “Coulter never got back to us — but for the record, like Iraq, Canada sent no troops to Vietnam.”

      Copy and paste the following link…

    13. DavidBruno — on 28th November, 2005 at 9:59 am  

      I guess Al-Hack prefers crazy socialist women like…Claire Short.

    14. Bikhair — on 28th November, 2005 at 1:08 pm  


      Youre mean, meanie!

    15. Bikhair — on 28th November, 2005 at 1:09 pm  

      Actually Sunny, what you said really hurt my feelings and I believe I am due an apology.

    16. bananabrain — on 28th November, 2005 at 1:11 pm  

      melanie phillips does drive me nuts. that doesn’t mean she’s always wrong, though. i’ve just rarely read anything by her that doesn’t make me grind my teeth. she’s very good at standing up for what she believes in - and we believe in some of the same things, so kudos to her for that. it’s just that she’s so fecking myopic. she doesn’t see the bigger picture.

      i see her in synagogue every so often; it’s a synagogue with a very saintly, socially conscious, right-on rabbi, incidentally, which might surprise you, so she is at least exposed to some other views (or maybe that’s where she gets her material, hah) but i’ve always thought it was rude to have a go at someone for something they do for their job on her day off. it’s not really the done thing.

      the basic thing that she does, however, which i object to, is that she doesn’t encourage reflection - she just perpetuates a hardening of attitudes, which is a shame. hey ho. fortunately, there are other people out there.



    17. Chris M — on 28th November, 2005 at 1:53 pm  

      Anyway back to the topic “desi conservative” ?

      I always wanted to know the name of the beautiful asian lady that was on C4 Immigration debate, and she was arguing against immigrations. Had Arronovitch on it and Keenan Malik , Rod Liddle . . Who was she ? i’d love to give her one .

      I also think there’s a conservative activist called pretty patel, i’m not sure. Or was it tripti . .

      Me and my fellow tories love brown sugar.

    18. Col. Mustafa — on 28th November, 2005 at 2:12 pm  

      I prefer Heroin myself.
      Brown sugar tends to stick too easily.

    19. Uncleji stay away from our women — on 28th November, 2005 at 2:21 pm  

      Pretty she is not sufficently ranting right wing she’s not.

    20. Al-Hack — on 28th November, 2005 at 2:29 pm  

      Bananabrain - the basic thing that she does, however, which i object to, is that she doesn’t encourage reflection - she just perpetuates a hardening of attitudes, which is a shame. hey ho. fortunately, there are other people out there.
      Think you hot the nail on the head mate. She also embodies other Conservative values - namely thinking the world is a left-wing conspiracy. Hah!

    21. Uncleji — on 28th November, 2005 at 2:47 pm  

      I don’t care who we get as long as I don’t bloody have to listen to the Alibi-Brown Lady being rolled out to represent us ethnics.

      We can’t find anyone here whos right wing enough and desi we could always get a free transfer from holland of Ayaan Hirsi Ali

    22. nukh — on 28th November, 2005 at 4:16 pm  

      since i have a proven [evidenced by my anti islamic tirades]
      claim……i would be honored to be considered for the position of the resident desi conservative..
      i am good looking [post make up], photogenci and with some help can even be eloquent and sophisticated…..i would be honored to represent the south asian diaspora……

    23. DE — on 28th November, 2005 at 4:21 pm  

      I want to say Michelle Hussain here but I’m not sure for what reason. Sorry.

    24. Chris M — on 28th November, 2005 at 4:26 pm  

      asian woman have generally submissive characteristics . . thus the non-existance of a prominant brown woman with attitude’

      Oh and i’ve found out the woman is question is “Geeta Sidhu “, she once stood as a candidate, but has gone quiet since . . you should’ve seen her in the red dress. she can sit on my lap any day.

    25. sonia — on 28th November, 2005 at 4:34 pm  

      ha ha ha ! non-existence ( get your spelling right Chris M) of women with attitude.

      ho ho ho.

      sorry. can’t get over it.

    26. Al-Hack — on 28th November, 2005 at 4:36 pm  

      Asian women submissive? Don’t believe the hype mate! They’ll bite your head off if you put one step wrong. This Geeta Sikdhu character looks promising, but she’s not got a profile?

      Nukh - maybe maybe, but we iz talking about somone in the media, no? Can you write?

    27. nukh — on 28th November, 2005 at 4:47 pm  

      i will list some other accomplishments to support my candidature for the position of south asian conservative.

      1) I support the Iraq war and would prefer that the U.S. stayed as long as it takes..

      2) I am an ardent free marketeer
      3) I strongly believe that the world is heading towards a civilizational struggle.
      4) I am never interested in “understanding” the mindset of a terrorist.
      5) I believe that the only good thing about france is the cooking and champagne
      6) whilst enrolled in college [a liberal ivy league institution] a couple of years ago…i was labelled a fascist.
      7) I was proud of number 6 and carried it around as a badge of honor.

    28. nukh — on 28th November, 2005 at 4:48 pm  

      al hack, i can send you a sample of my writing?

    29. sonia — on 28th November, 2005 at 4:51 pm  

      maybe you should first send a photo eh!

    30. nukh — on 28th November, 2005 at 4:57 pm  

      sonia, i will show mine, if you promise to show yours

    31. sonia — on 28th November, 2005 at 5:00 pm  

      ah but im not in the running for a crazy conservative -! i was going by the fact that if you show them a sample of your writing - but im sure given the nature of this discussion - the other criteria was no doubt they’d put it to the vote..

    32. nukh — on 28th November, 2005 at 5:10 pm  

      sonia, i prefer the description passionate conservative.
      and dont think that looks are so relevant for male commentrators…..indeed, it bodes well if the male conservative is not a pretty boy…..goes with the image.

      in any case, if you are interested in exchanging info on a personal level…….i would be more than happy.

    33. sonia — on 28th November, 2005 at 5:14 pm  

      now i do agree with you with what you said up there - but i think the gentlemen might be a let down that you’re not going to post your photo up there!!


      i don’t mind exchanging info on a personal level…

    34. nukh — on 28th November, 2005 at 5:32 pm  

      gentlemn might be let down - only if they are of the “homoerectus” variety. in which case they would be barking up the wrong tree anyway.

      as for you and I……do write me your email or phone number….so we may intitiate personal correspondence.
      btw, how old are you?

    35. sonia — on 28th November, 2005 at 6:04 pm  

      im an old biddy of 28. what about you? im terrible on the phone so ill stick you my email addy which is ..oh hang on do i want to stick it up here? if you follow the link to my blog..and post a comment ill be able to see what your email address is and send you mine. does that sound too complicated??

    36. Old Pickler — on 28th November, 2005 at 6:37 pm  

      Oooh, a Pickled Politics romance! Calls for a celebration - bring out the Branston.

    37. Jai Singh — on 28th November, 2005 at 6:39 pm  

      =>”asian woman have generally submissive characteristics . . thus the non-existance of a prominant brown woman with attitude”

      *Nearly falls off chair laughing*
      *Gets back up again*

      Buddy that is so far off the mark, you have no idea. The reality is a little different, especially when it comes to your average UK/US-born Asian woman.

      Although there are plenty of feisty Aunties out there too.

      Which reminds me — someone should nominate someone’s Auntieji for the post of Conservative Asian Commentor. Some of those aunties are so right-wing they’re practically a dot on the distant horizon.

    38. nukh — on 28th November, 2005 at 7:23 pm  

      i would be glad to - but, what link? what blog?

    39. Jai Singh — on 28th November, 2005 at 7:30 pm  

      *laughing* Click on her name, you randy desi casanova ;)

    40. nukh — on 28th November, 2005 at 7:32 pm  

      i am a tad slow….

    41. Jai Singh — on 28th November, 2005 at 9:14 pm  

      I’m sure Sonia will be glad to hear that, heh heh…..

      I’d better stop now before she throws a virtual chappal in my direction.

    42. Jez — on 28th November, 2005 at 10:51 pm  

      ### Lets get back to the point people !

      al-hack points to the republicans use of ethnics to “trip up the liberals”, which the conservatives havn’t yet caught onto . It’s a basic PR to counter any acusations of racism, but has it’s limitations. .

    43. Sunny — on 28th November, 2005 at 11:05 pm  

      Well, Michael Howard tried that route but he looks too scary for anyone to think he’s cuddly and fluffy and therefore to love him anyway.

    44. Sunny — on 28th November, 2005 at 11:18 pm  

      By the way, Nukh but sorry we ain’t looking for budding Michelle Malkins to write on here. This is a blog of “progressive” commentary, see?

      I think al-hack was saying that we need a madcap right wing Asian commentator in the media. That is a thought worth a shudder. Unless it’s a desi version of Michelle Malkin of course.

    45. Siddharth — on 28th November, 2005 at 11:27 pm  

      Not even if he tones down the fascism and does it in drag? :-)

    46. sonia — on 29th November, 2005 at 1:15 pm  

      jai singh you have a good point with regards to the aunties. ha now we just have to get one of them to become a feature editor on the Evening Standard. ha ha..

      dont worry i dont engage in chappal throwing.. no doubt if i weren’t described as a ‘loony lefty’ i would..

    47. malarkey — on 30th November, 2005 at 12:26 am  

      Oh God, Michelle Malkin. I am ashamed of her because of two reasons.

      1. She is an alumni of Oberlin College (which I am proudly attending). Come to think of it, we’re all ashamed of her here. We like to think she’s an aberration.

      2. She’s of Filipino ancestry (as am I), and her rabid right-wing politics is not helping our image. AND she’s written some very disparaging and offensive remarks about the Filipinos, especially when we withdrew from Iraq because of the Angelo de la Cruz hostage situation. I hate her with a passion.

      [/rant over]

    48. Bikhair — on 30th November, 2005 at 2:41 am  


      I have a Filipino step-mother, and one of my best freinds is Filipino. Do you guys pronouce the letter “V”?

    49. sonia — on 30th November, 2005 at 3:41 pm  

      ooh. so ?

      why should people pronounce v if it aint in their language?

    50. Col. Mustafa — on 30th November, 2005 at 5:20 pm  

      Crazy BNP woman, anyday…

    51. Rohin — on 30th November, 2005 at 6:12 pm  

      All, and I mean ALL of our theatre staff are Filipino, hell I even speak some Tagalog! I get on very well with most of them. However, these have all been people who live in Britain and they are very upfront about their Filipino roots - which wasn’t the case when I met a Filipino girl from America. Which is why your comment interests me malarkey.

      She was a nurse I worked with on a tsunami camp out in Sri Lanka and in between everyone trying to chat her up (she was rather hot) I said “You’re originally Filipino right? I could tell from your name” or something equally innocuous and she suddenly changed. She hated talking about it and didn’t want to be associated with the Philipines. I thought this was odd, but perhaps she was like Michelle Malkin…?

    52. shiva — on 1st December, 2005 at 2:28 am  

      asian woman have generally submissive characteristics . . thus the non-existance of a prominant brown woman with attitude’

      That’s as dorky as it gets.

    53. Bikhair — on 1st December, 2005 at 3:03 am  


      I have different expiriences with Filipinos being related to some. The second generation 20 somethings were all into urban hip hop culture and pretty nationalistic about the Filipines. However the generation before had major inferiority complexes partcularly when it came to the desire for Filipina women to marry white men. It was pretty sick and I saw this kind of attitude up close.

    54. Bikhair — on 1st December, 2005 at 3:06 am  

      Milken may have had some negative things to say about the Filipines withdrawing from Iraq but I am pretty sure she followed the usual imperialistic line when it came to Filipinos, long before the Iraq war.

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