Spare a thought…


by Rohin
25th December, 2006 at 12:13 am    

Ho ho ho, maiiiiry Christmas, MAIIIIRRY CHRISTMAS! Not really though, because this is my humble urge to you all to spare a thought for those less fortunate than yourselves. Yes, those of us who are working on Christmas day. As Sunny gets anally probed on the US border and you are stuffing your Turkey, I’ll have my finger up someone’s bottom. Yes, such are the joys of a 14 hour colorectal Christmas shift (here’s the colorectal surgeon song, for those what is interested). I will be wearing my Santa hat and red scrubs and I’ll carry a big sack full of organs for the good little boys and girls.

This post is really a poor excuse to say hello. I hope that, despite my hiatus, I will be a more frequent visitor than that other fabled children’s fairytale figure that drops in from up above every Christmas, Jesus. I know that my absence has hardly registered, but I’ve missed my Pickled Pals. I have been reading as often as I can, but whenever I feel I have a few minutes to blog, Sunny has normally got to the topic first!

And while I’m here, hell, if Sunny can tootle his own horn (he had ribs removed), then so can I. If only to demonstrate why you should be reading Pickled Politics RELIGIOUSLY. A little while ago I won the Guardian Student Media Award for Diversity Writer of the Year, predominantly for that old Apu piece; I was runner-up in the Columnist of the Year and nominated for Feature Writer of the Year. It seems, inexplicably, that the Guardian likes Sunny and myself. This, in my humble opinion, is more than ample evidence to support those who think the Guardian is tosh. Ah crap I have to be at work in 7 hours. Anyone else working today?


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  1. El Cid — on 25th December, 2006 at 10:31 am  

    As they say in Spain (and many other places), you clearly don’t need your own grandma Rohin. I think all that colorectal surgery is good for you. I mean it could be worse: you could be the patient.
    (Just kidding. Your profession’s efforts are well appreciated at this time of the year. I had to go to hospital about 15 years ago because a saliva duct was blocked and every time I ate the left side of my face blew up. I ate a plate of twiglets at the hospital to demonstrate my party trick. Thankfully, the doctor didn’t let on to my father-in-law-to-be, but we both knew it had something to do with the speed I had had the night before. It soon passed.)
    Spare a thought for those less fortunate than yourselves? It’s the same every year. Don’t start, La Senora says. But then I look at the prezzies that she and I have so carefully piled up on the quiet, and smile as the kids rip up the wrapping and shout with glee. But then the ghost of Christmas past descends. Is this good for them? When will they ask, how comes Father Christmas doesn’t visit all the world’s children?
    I’m going for a jog to get over the melancholy and prepare for the vast amount of turkey and booze I will consumer today. Which reminds me: I’m running the London Marathon this year. Sponsorship anybody, for Help the Aged?
    Oh, and lest I forget, Feliz Navidad!!

  2. Kismet Hardy — on 25th December, 2006 at 1:13 pm  

    I’ll tell you why I’m having a Buckowski Christmas

    My ex was kind enough to let me see my kids this morning. Although that bastard Santa got the credit for the lot, the look on their faces is the stuff of Mastercard’s envy. They’ve left for their grandma’s, leaving me all alone in a town where not a single soul I know has stayed behind for the hols. And because I can’t drive, I’m stuck here until the train starts running again the day after tomorrow and I can return to the bosom of my one truly pissed off love in London.

    Moping is for fools and yearning for losers, so I’ve got myself a big bottle of scotch, enough narcs to trouble Burroughs and I’m going to bang away at this keyboard and fill the word document with fear and loathing.

    There’s a guitar on standby, ready to have the shit strummed out of it should the Thom Yorke in me decide to have his say.

    It doesn’t matter that no one will read the Karouac-esque stream of conscious rubbish I’ll spout or hear the violence my guitar will be subjected to…

    But it sure as hell will make me feel better.

    Here’s to keeping the sail hoisted despite floating down shit creak

    Merry love to all freaks big and small xX

  3. Chairwoman — on 25th December, 2006 at 3:08 pm  

    Rohin – A new slant on ‘He put in his thumb, and pulled out a plum’, then.

    Rodrigo – Feliz Navidad to you and yours.

    Kismet – A Bukowski Christmas has to be accompanied by Tom Russell’s ‘HotWalker’. If you don’t have it, I think there’s a free download on his website.

  4. Sam Ambreen — on 25th December, 2006 at 3:35 pm  

    Merry Xmas Rohin! If I need you to stick you shoe up anyone’s butt I’ll holler.

    xxx

  5. Kismet Hardy — on 25th December, 2006 at 6:11 pm  

    The thing about playing the Hunter S Thomson game is that you either end up with a masterpiece on your hands or your brains scattered all over the sofa. God bless Britain for not allowing cunts like me to own shotguns…

  6. El Cid — on 25th December, 2006 at 7:02 pm  

    Oh God. I can’t eat anymore.

  7. Kismet Hardy — on 25th December, 2006 at 7:16 pm  

    Me either. Are you on crack also?

  8. El Cid — on 25th December, 2006 at 7:23 pm  

    Ahem. No.

  9. El Cid — on 25th December, 2006 at 7:25 pm  

    But Dr Who with the killer Xmas tree is making wonder whether a bit of the ol’ polonium was sneaked into my trifle.

  10. El Cid — on 25th December, 2006 at 7:51 pm  

    Ah well, you’re

  11. Katy — on 25th December, 2006 at 7:55 pm  

    Spare a thought also for the Godfather of Soul, James Brown, who is no longer doin it like a sex machine.

  12. Katy — on 25th December, 2006 at 7:56 pm  

    *digs out List of Great Music Legends who she will never see live*

    *adds James Brown’s name just under Ray Charles’*

  13. El Cid — on 25th December, 2006 at 7:57 pm  

    …and a Tory toff to boot, going by your website. No wonder Sid has held back and you cling to the crutch of surreal comedy. Good luck matey. Like the photo with the Santa babes (a lot), but I still think Morrisey is SOOOOOOOOOOOOO overrated.

  14. Katy — on 25th December, 2006 at 7:57 pm  

    El Cid, if you are reading this please post again to reassure us that something terrible has not happened to you mid-comment…?

  15. El Cid — on 25th December, 2006 at 7:57 pm  

    Ah…. James Brown. Gutted. :(

  16. Ravi Naik — on 25th December, 2006 at 8:24 pm  

    Qué locura!:)

  17. El Cid — on 25th December, 2006 at 8:33 pm  

    Joder! That’ll be the Colombia-Galicia connection.
    I mean I’m not completely impartial — I mean COMPLETELY impartial — but ever seen people begging for a little livener when supply is short? A bit sad really. There’s nothing better than booze in friendly company.

  18. Ravi Naik — on 25th December, 2006 at 8:55 pm  

    “There’s nothing better than booze in friendly company.”

    Well said, El Cid. :)

  19. Kismet Hardy — on 26th December, 2006 at 11:29 am  

    There’s nothing worse than un-neutralised hydrochlorida salt in unfriendly company

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