It’s The Cosmic Ordering Weekend Open Thread


by Clairwil
9th December, 2006 at 1:58 pm    

Hello,
As readers of my own blog will know I have started a cosmic ordering experiment. For those who don’t know cosmic ordering is a new age belief that allows one to get anything one wants just by asking the cosmos. I must say I have my doubts but I’m currently on a mission to adopt a belief system loopy enough to make an atheist kick a hole in a window.

Anyway just for fun I thought I’d extend my experiment to the weekend open thread. Let’s have your weekend cosmic orders below. The deadline for receipt of cosmic orders is Monday morning when you can no longer kid yourself it’s still the weekend. This weekend I have asked the universe to allow me to meditate for half an hour without a car alarm going off. Honestly what is the bloody point of me trying to be all nice and calm if the general public wont keep their sodding racket down. See just thinking about it has got me hopping mad.

All light hearted spiritual experimentation aside. I want to hear about your weekend plans, jokes, links to funny things, random scribblings. If it’s amusing let’s hear about it. No politics, death and clever things please. This thread has an IQ of 10. Let’s not interfere with the delicate bloom of it’s jaw dropping silliness.

Good Day to you all.


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  1. Chairwoman — on 9th December, 2006 at 2:25 pm  

    Me first! My cosmic order has arrived. For months I have been asking for a magic chair which will give me more independence, comfort and speed my recovery. It arrived last week, but didn’t work properly. Finally it does.

    Not exciting, but great for me!

  2. Leon — on 9th December, 2006 at 2:38 pm  

    Hmmm sounds like the usual hippy stuff. Doesn’t Noel Edmonds do this?

  3. mirax — on 9th December, 2006 at 2:41 pm  

    I am sorry to do this to you Clairwil, but your cosmic ordering service just mightily screwed up my weekend. I asked for peace, quiet and tranquillity, just this one weekend. Reason: Parcel of brats – loveable, related to oneself, but also noisy and requiring expensive upkeep- were due to arrive from Australia on MONDAY, d-day. But, your COS delivered them out of the ether two whole days EARLY? WHERE’S THE JUSTICE IN THAT? CAN I SUE YOU IN LIEU OF THE UNIVERSE?? WHAT’S THE RETURN POLICY??

    * as you see by the caps, I am a mite distraught.

  4. sabinaahmed — on 9th December, 2006 at 3:44 pm  

    Hmm cosmic ordering,if only life could be that simple. But there is no harm in wishing is there.
    I want to become a good writer,one stone lighter and ten years younger! Tall order but does anyone knows how i go about getting it? May be not.
    I have family and friends coming for christmas including a five month old baby,and am baby sitting for her while her parents go out for dinner on new years eve.At the moment am planing menus,shopping and generally runing around like a headless chicken.
    What i want is some kind of ordering, cosmic or otherwise so all my jobs are done, without me writing lists and then writing reminders where to find those lists!
    I better get up and go in the kitchen in a minute as my neighbours are coming for dinner and am trying Delia`s reciepe of Morrocon kitchen.

  5. sabinaahmed — on 9th December, 2006 at 3:46 pm  

    sorrry!!am dyslexic or what,I meant Morrocon chiken.

  6. sabinaahmed — on 9th December, 2006 at 3:53 pm  

    chicken even.

  7. ZinZin — on 9th December, 2006 at 3:55 pm  

    IQ of ten it still excludes myself.

  8. Clairwil — on 9th December, 2006 at 4:46 pm  

    Chairwoman,
    I’m delighted for you. Go on spoil yourself and place another order.

    Leon,
    Yes Noel Edmonds got Deal or no Deal using cosmic ordering. Go on it’s the weekend be a hippy and make a wish.

    Mirax,
    I’m awfully sorry. If I were you I’d take it up with the cosmic complaints team.

    Sabina,
    Best of luck. If I were you I’d do less and let everyone else take care of themselves.

    ZinZin,

    ‘IQ of ten it still excludes myself.’

    Good God! Are we passing under your head or over it?

    My cosmic order worked up to a point. I was not disturbed by car alarms, though I spent half an hour sitting cross legged worrying about a car alarm going off.

  9. The Ill Man — on 9th December, 2006 at 6:14 pm  

    Well, Partick Thistle won, Gretna lost, and the weather was great for taking photos today, so that’s my wishlist pretty much up to date. For the rest of the weekend I would like more of the same weather wise and a swift and easy resolution to the problems I’m having with my blasted mp3 player. Cheers!

  10. William — on 9th December, 2006 at 7:01 pm  

    How about having two groups, one lot make wishes and the others ask the cosmos to see if they can get them to go wrong!!!

  11. Don — on 9th December, 2006 at 7:13 pm  

    Of course, Cosmic Ordering does come with a ‘Monkey’s Paw’ clause in the small print.

  12. William — on 9th December, 2006 at 7:20 pm  

    Don

    ‘Monkey’s Paw’

    What’s that??

  13. William — on 9th December, 2006 at 7:25 pm  

    I order the cosmos to stop my cat from bringing in small animals and eating them. She has brought in a couple of rats. Once she left a rat by the bathroom door and I trod on it!!. It was dead but still warm.
    I have tried to explain to her that she does not need to do this as she has plenty of food already but she just purrs and buffs her head against my arm. Maybe the language of the universe wil be easily translatable by cats!!!!

  14. mirax — on 9th December, 2006 at 7:29 pm  

    monkey’s paw ; classic horror short story about the pitfalls of actually getting what you wish for…

  15. Don — on 9th December, 2006 at 7:54 pm  

    Or as Nick Cave put it;

    Be mindful of the prayers you send
    Pray hard but pray with care
    For the tears that you are crying now
    Are just your answered prayers

  16. Clairwil — on 9th December, 2006 at 8:13 pm  

    Jings!
    The Monkey’s Paw. My granny was very fond of that one.
    http://www.enotes.com/monkeys-paw-text/

    William,
    The problem is your cat is cosmically ordering the rats. My mothers cats behave in a similar fashion and have brought home countless mice, toads, birds, one budgie and two squirrels. Quite frankly if I caught one of them trying to drag a dead man through the cat flap I wouldn’t raise an eyebrow.

  17. Nyrone — on 9th December, 2006 at 8:44 pm  

    I finally got my Nintendo Wii console.
    Been playing it all day, it’s ace!
    anyone else stuck on Zelda: Twilight Princess?

  18. Douglas Clark — on 9th December, 2006 at 10:48 pm  

    The Ill Man,

    So the major test of the theory is sitting on track then? And I’ve never heard of anyone winning 2 – 5. It is a weird result. Very new age cosmic ordering – which I’d previously thought of as a vegan vindaloo from Shimla Pinks.

    Clairwil,

    You never mentioned this downside to the Cosmic Ordering thingy. You mean cats can post too? That is a definite worry. What about dogs?

    I feel you might have a future career selling extended warranties for Comet. Or even managing folk that sell extended warranties for Comet. Still, if we’ve both won the lottery, consider yourself forgiven ;) .

  19. The Ill Man — on 9th December, 2006 at 11:53 pm  

    Douglas, I’m starting to worry. This is all looking too good to be true. Still, keep thinking big, Champions League it is.

  20. Clairwil — on 10th December, 2006 at 12:37 am  

    ‘You never mentioned this downside to the Cosmic Ordering thingy. You mean cats can post too? That is a definite worry. What about dogs?’

    Oh you don’t have to post your orders, that’s just for my amusement. All one has to do is have a word with the universe. Cats have never been shy about letting anyone know what they want. As for dogs their needs are simple. I doubt they ask for much.

  21. StrangelyPsychedelique / Kesara — on 10th December, 2006 at 11:12 am  

    A close friend is a great proponent of Cosmic Ordering. I’ve tried it but it never beats the Domino’s promise that the pizza is free if its late.

    As for weekend shannigans I had my first photo published – in the Evening Standard, of Gordon Brown & dionne Warrick nonetheless.

    Vive GB!

  22. Clairwil — on 10th December, 2006 at 12:13 pm  

    Yes I think the customer service side of this cosmic ordering could be letter. Just look at what happened to poor mirax.

    Well done on getting your picture published. There’s some excellent suff on your flickr page.

  23. The Ill Man — on 10th December, 2006 at 12:44 pm  

    SP/Kesara – Gordon Brown & Dionne Warwick? That i’d like to see. You won’t get published in the Glasgow Evening Times, that’s for sure. Not if your shots are any good………….

  24. Riz — on 10th December, 2006 at 2:21 pm  

    Cosmic order:

    1 Portion Prawn Cracker
    2 Portion Spring Roll
    2 Egg Fried Rice
    1 Stir Fry Winter Vegetable in Black Bean Sauce
    2 Banana Fritter (with Vanilla Ice Cream)

    deliver in next 20 minutes

  25. William — on 10th December, 2006 at 3:07 pm  

    Hope this isn’t too serious but this week I have been to see the Iranian film “Ten”. If anyone likes conversation check it out as that is all it consists of. One woman driving around in her car conversing with her different passengers usually about womens issues etc. Quite intimate and revealing.

    Iran produces some really good films and is often very progressive, many from a feminist angle.

    If anyone gets the chance get to see “The day I Became a woman.” Its a collection of three short films, beautifully shot and quite quirky.

  26. Ravi Naik — on 10th December, 2006 at 3:54 pm  

    I saw both movies a few years ago at ICA, and found them to be enjoyable. The only minus is that the political message does not come very subtle.

  27. Ravi Naik — on 10th December, 2006 at 3:59 pm  

    “I finally got my Nintendo Wii console.
    Been playing it all day, it’s ace!”

    You lucky bastard. :) I was planning to get the PS3, but people are having way too much with the Wii.

  28. Nyrone — on 10th December, 2006 at 7:26 pm  

    Just started Zelda… I’m getting ready to kiss my social life goodbye.

  29. Anas — on 10th December, 2006 at 7:38 pm  

    ill man, your latest photo seems to have been taken a few blocks from where I live. Is it St Vincent St?

  30. Douglas Clark — on 10th December, 2006 at 9:10 pm  

    Anas,

    Certainly looks like it to me.

  31. Anas — on 10th December, 2006 at 9:19 pm  

    On the route of the number 62 and number 9 buses, on the way to Partick and beyond!

  32. sonia — on 10th December, 2006 at 11:45 pm  

    ive had a good weekend : managed to go to a party without getting sick or anything so that’s a plus point!

    ill have to look into this cosmic ordering thing clairwil – i think you’ve stumbled onto something good here!

  33. sonia — on 10th December, 2006 at 11:47 pm  

    of course methinks its a nice fancy name for the power of positive thinking! but ah well..we can all have a bit of fun cant we..

  34. sonia — on 10th December, 2006 at 11:52 pm  

    chairwoman – glad to hear about the chair!

  35. Leon — on 10th December, 2006 at 11:57 pm  

    That’s it, if people are this easy to con with hippy bollox I’m gonna start a religion or something and make millions! Mwa haw haw haw haw!

    *dons Darth Vader suit*

    *strides off with the Imperial March playing in the background*

  36. The Ill Man — on 11th December, 2006 at 12:12 am  

    Well spotted Anas. Taken one lunch hour last week as I remember. Check out Seven Days, further down my blogroll, that’s my proper photo blog.

    I think Cosmic Ordering may have something in it. Yes, it’s just positive thinking by another name as someone pointed out, but hell, it beats sitting about like a lemon whingeing about stuff.

  37. sonia — on 11th December, 2006 at 12:13 am  

    absolutely! i like it…

  38. Douglas Clark — on 11th December, 2006 at 8:55 am  

    The Ill Man,

    It beats getting beat :)

  39. Amit — on 11th December, 2006 at 1:25 pm  

    Hi Clair, good luck with your CO experiment…here’s something that may interest you – http://www.unlimitedchoice.org/blog/the-secret/

    In this DVD it’s not called Cosmic Ordering…it’s called the Law of Attraction and it explains why it works and how you can manifest your universal orders much faster. worth a try! ;)

    :p

  40. HiredGun — on 11th December, 2006 at 3:34 pm  

    I’ve been a long time lurker at PP. I thought this might raise a chuckle and ease the work week in….

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=owK5tHjL0aE

  41. Kismet Hardy — on 12th December, 2006 at 4:59 pm  

    This is the funniest thing I’ve found all day

    http://www.fstdt.com

    Makes the monkeys on PP seem like monks

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