It’s the sort-of-midweek sort-of-weekend open thread!
Phew. It has been one heavy political week here on PP. You are a big bunch of fearsomely articulate intellectuals and no mistake. I am impressed by all of you, if also rather scared.
But there is a limit to how much political heaviness a bubbly, frothy, empty-headed young lady like myself can take. So here is a rather early midweek/weekend open thread for those who seek a temporary respite from the hard-hitting political commentary elsewhere on the site. Here is a list of things that are more than welcome on the midweek/weekend open thread:
1. Weekend plans
2. Amusing jokes or poor puns.
3. Strained double entendres and flirtatious banter. I like my flirtatious banter, people!
4. Links to slightly risque YouTube videos featuring scantily clad ladies. Or hunky men. Or just links to highly amusing YouTube videos. It’s up to you.
5. Burbling, wittering, noodling and any other form of aimless but largely inoffensive chatter.
6. Amusing limericks. This is a relatively new addition to the weekend open thread, but we are liking the limericks at work at the moment and I intend to use any limericks posted on this thread to make it look as if I have an inexhaustible supply. So go for it, people – hit me with your limericks. Hit me. Hit me. Here is my favourite, to get the ball rolling:
There was a law student called Rex
Who had very small organs of sex.
When charged with exposure
He replied with composure
“De minimis non curat lex.”
That is a bit of a lawyery sort of limerick, but I like it.
Anyway – there are some ideas for you. Let’s make this week’s open thread the most varied and bizarre ever…
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Filed in: Current affairs
I expect I’ll go for a wander on the green, see the geese and a bit of nature. I’ve lost track Katy. Has the Pickled wedding taken place yet and do I still have time to hat shop?
Katy,
One’s ‘organs’ are surely designed ad usum proprium?
delectatio morosa! delectatio morosa!
There was a young Gaucho named Bruno
Who said “there is one thing I do know
A woman is fine
And a sheep is divine
But a llama is numero uno”
bubbly, frothy, empty-headed young lady like myself
Except I know better!
So Katy…?
You a big-shot lawyer?
Or do you – like all ‘Jooos’ – control the world.
If I were a Jew, I think I’d try and get a conspiracy going for the hell of it. No-one in their right mind would believe it was happening and I could control the worlds car auctions or window boxes. I haven’t decided yet.
If Jewish people controlled the world then Tottenham Hotspur would be at the top of the Premiership. Which they are not. Thank goodness!
Katy –
We are nothing if not eclectic – at least those of us who don’t repeat the same unpunctuated, stream of consciousness rants for every topic.
As light relief, and as you especially request it (no 4), I advance the following as argument for the EU move east:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uP7GHJy1XHI
Girls with green eyes and cheekbones, mmmm.
Exams!
Been studying like mad all week. Making up for all the time i wasted behind girls and PP. Havent slept for last 2 days… got Chemistry tomorrow. Heck i think i need a nap… Enthalpy and related mumbo jumbo can wait.
Too late to buy the past papers and practice, but may work on the future exams. Exam boards are lazy usually work on a 5 year cycle. Not bragging, but I got 100% on my Chemistry A level multiple choice this way. In the days when A levels were difficult
. In my mocks I was worse than a random monkey at 25%, because I fell for every trick in every question. Good kick up the bum that!
Justforfun
Point 7
Good point Amir Spurs haven’t won the league since 1961. Not very powerful those Jews.
Katy – no one has asked.
How was your honeymoon night?
Is what they say about Kismet true?
Was the sheep harmed in anyway?
Justforfun
In the days when A levels were difficult
cliche… i’ve been told like a thousand times 5A* GCSEs dont count coz we ‘had it harder in’ our days. Neeways this is just an in school test so i’m not that bothered. At my school we have an option of doing ICSE, CBSE or International Baccalaurette… i’ve opted for the later… Indian boards soo over emphasize on rote learning, dont wanna spend my two years in India shuttling between school and ‘coaching classes’.
Heck some of my mates from school getup at 4am to attend IIT-JEE prep classes. I still dont get whats the fuss about just one engineering school…
There once was a man from St. Bees
Who was stung on the arm by a wasp
When asked, ‘Does it hurt?’
He replied, ‘No, it doesn’t.
I’m glad it wasn’t a hornet.’
(From the Introduction to the first edition of the Blue Peter Book of Limericks)
Also, if yuo like laughing at the naff rubbish they put in The Sun, then check out this story:
Hull folk ‘dimmest in UK’:
http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2006460434,00.html
Wasalaam
TMA
Vikrant – too easy to bait
If you want a career in Engineering, then Maths is the crucial subject. Plus a clear understanding of the difference between Engineering and Science. One sets out to understand the world, the other uses this understanding to change the world.
When you come to select your career, use your ‘heart’ and then use your intelligence to make a go of it. Don’t let your parents force you to do it the otherway around. So speaks the man who did not have the courage to be a wildlife photographer, and ended up drifting into Engineering. I’ve heard good things about the International Baccalaurette. A Levels are just too restrictive. Leave that for University.
Justforfun
When you come to select your career, use your ‘heart’ and then use your intelligence to make a go of it. Don’t let your parents force you to do it the otherway around.
Well its engineering for me! Mechtronics to be precise. I’ve been a BEAM Robotics enthusiast since i was 12 (my soldering-gun scarred hand will tell ya!)…
Neeways reading ‘Spycather’ the autobiography of MI5..which has been banned by British govt (of all ironies i bought it from one of those cheap ass ‘bookstores’ below Waterloo bridge)… Interestingly i seems to have got widespread attention in lates 1980s.. So have you unclejis heard of it?
How was your and kismet’s wedding Katy!!
Oh thank goodness the weekend is almost here..almost here! ive had a fearfully heavy week. Looking forward to the spa and the jacuzzi Yumm Yumm!
A return to The Voices of BEngal exhibition at the British Museum – I’ve had a peek so far and want to go back to check it out some more.
Spycatcher you mean Vikrant?
‘hull is dull and grimsby’s grim’ ran the nicely stereotyped catchline as i heard it in the old days up north. turned out that hull wasn’t all that dull..
Spycatcher you mean Vikrant?
Yeppie… Darn the typos… thats what sleep deprivation does to you… *falls of to sleep* Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Spycather, isn’t that almost something to do with the Da Vinci code?
Clairwil – As I keep telling people, the problem with having to rule the world, control the media and wear the 12 ft lizard suit, is that it seriously cuts into my shopping time
who’re you asking Vikrant? i mean re: having heard of it/ My dad had a copy back in the time it came out. It was boring – spy fiction’s much more interesting.
I came across quite an interesting fact a couple of weeks ago. Did you know that the term “Old Blighty” in reference to Britain actually has an Indian origin ?
It’s derived from the Hindustani term “Vilayat”, meaning “foreign”, and was a corruption of the associated word “vilayati” by British colonial types.
Wikipedia article here.
That’s right, folks — “Mr-Everything-Comes-From-India” Uncle wasn’t always wrong, y’know…..
A good friend of mine just sent this to me. I can’t stop laughing:
http://www.fhm.com/site/content/article.aspx?id=14493
darn i keep gettin called Vilayti Vikrant at skool!
It was boring – spy fiction’s much more interesting.
Well i read anything i can lay my hands on (ask those fellas below the Waterloo bridge… )… i’m reading Spycatcher whilst waiting for latest Artemis Fowl all the way from AmazonUK…
BTW My Diwali vacs start from Saturday… Expect me to inundate PP open threads with my hormonal rants…
I just learned that Transylvania actually exists, it is actually a region of Romania. Spooky.
If they let Romania into the EU, and all of a sudden we are flooded with migrants from Transylvania, what measures are going to be put in place to ensure no vampires come?
Are we going to have to wear crucifixes and carry wooden stakes and garlic every time we call a plumber or have our windscreens cleaned by squuezy merchants at traffic lights?
What the hell is going on here?
Get the Daily Mail onto this issue immediately.
=>”What the hell is going on here?”
Stop panicking. Miss Romania was the runner-up in this year’s Miss World competition. We’re just going to end up with lots of dark-haired hot Eastern European women here.
You’ve probably seen “Bram Stoker’s Dracula”. Remember what happened to Keanu Reeves when he met Monica Bellucci and her 2 Transylvanian girlfriends. Can’t complain about that, eh ?
I have the in-laws coming this weekend *grinds teeth*
I’ll be lucky if I can sneak a few friends over to have a few wee drams.
I had a dream the other night and in my dream a famous person died and it was all over the news. I woke up in the morning and told the wife and she said don’t tell anyone who it was that died, or else people will think you have powers of premonition and it’s right. I will go crazy because everytime I dream of the future I’d go out of my mind thinking it might come true. Imagine that.
There was a young man from Nantucket,
Whose cock was so long he could suck it,
While wiping his chin,
He said with a grin:
“If my ear was a pussy, I’d fuck it!”
The thing about those Romanian Transylvanian vampire scroungers Jai is this – they deliberately incarnate themselves in the shape of, say, Monica Belluci or the Cheeky Girls, rather than a bat, precisely to infiltrate and secure British visas, when in reality they are bloodsuckers who want to come to our country, and take all our blood and steal all our haemoglobin.
The government as usual is in denial about the vampire thread and its about time The Sun did a campaign against these Transylvanian scroungers.
jagdeep – you didn[‘t know transylvania really existed?
that’s quite amusing.
antipholus – i like your name and i like your limerick
I just watched that Thriller Parody from beginning to end and enjoyed it…..is there something wrong with me?
Well, a bit of light relief is well needed from the political ‘play-it-like’it’s-football’ banter dominating the ‘asian-news-story-a-second’ scene at the moment.
I’ll just take the time to put a question out there to you all:
ARE THERE ANY PROGRESSIVE FILM-MAKERS IN THE MIDST??? I AM MOVING AHEAD WITH PLANS TO SHOOT SHORT DOCUMENTARY AND FICTIONAL PIECIES FROM VARIOUS SCRIPTS AND AM IN THE PROCESS OF TRYING TO BUILD UP A CREW OF FEARLESS INDIVIDUALS WHO HAVE A MIXTURE OF TALENT, TIME, EQUIPMENT AND IDEAS….
If you can get down to London, I’ll be starting pre-production on my 3rd short in December. contact me at nyrone@gmail.com if you would like to get involved in some capacity and feel you could contribute…or even if you simply think it’s a good idea (like I do) that we create some kind of a social network for young ethnic minority filmmakers.
Have a nice weekend folks!
‘you didn[’t know transylvania really existed?’
I knew someone who was shocked when she found out pygmies really existed…
Holy Shit!
This looks like the freakin’ greatest movie ever made! I am pumped by this trailer! Can’t wait to watch it! It brings out the Sikh warrior in me! It’s about the battle of thermopylae and the Spartans who defeated the Persian Army! Holy Shit this looks great!!!! Look at the swords!!
http://www.apple.com/trailers/wb/300/trailer1/large.html
Thank fuck for this thread, think I’ll seek some solace here for a bit that thread I put is starting to grate…anyhooo…
Yay it’s the weekend! I’ve had a long week so think I’m going to catch up on some sleep, chill out and try and make a start on a piece about Borat that I’ve been procrastinating over for the last few days.
Come to think about it it’s my mates birthday so some serious drinking may have to interrupt the relaxation!:D
Jagdeep,
Well, maybe the impending Romanian invasion is part of a global conspiracy to undermine British democracy from within and turn the United Kingdom into a replica of Transylvania. You’ll see all these glamorous gothic women on the streets who look just like the lead singer of Evanescence. And some vampire version of Anjem Choudary will turn up on Newsnight, glaring at Jeremy Paxman while complaining that moderate British vampires aren’t orthodox enough.
And then Jack Straw will raise concerns about how freaked out he is by the whole thing, and that such women shouldn’t go around dressed in black all the time because it’s too damn unBritish and, well, just not cricket.
**************
Regarding that Spartan/Persian War film, there’s a famous book which you might find interesting reading: It’s called “Persian Fire” and is all about the conflict between the Greeks and the Persian Empire at the time (available in Waterstones, WHSmiths etc). Take a look here for Amazon’s description and review. I haven’t bought it yet but have flicked through it many times, it looks brilliant. Very entertainingly written too; quite sardonic at times. But very readable and very educational.
Jai I just did some research and found out that the movie is based on a graphic novel by Frank Miller:
300 by Frank Miller
Who is also the guy who made that crazy and stylish movie called Sin City!
I have the 300 graphic novel. It’s really cool.
300? Wow that takes me back to my comic reading days! Anyone use to read Preacher?
Jagdeep, thanks for that link. Fascinating story — let’s hope the film does it justice.
*******************
Interesting anecdote number 2:
Did anyone here know that Britain has already had a Prime Minister of part-Indian ethnicity ?
Yep: It was Lord Liverpool, PM 1812-1827. His mother was Anglo-Indian.
Details in Wikipedia as usual.
Another mind-boggling and eye-opening fact from “White Mughals”, which I’m currently reading.
When you come to select your career, use your ‘heart’ and then use your intelligence to make a go of it.
Hey picklers i’m a bit shy when it comes to politics but i like to read your rantings now and then.
Anyway my hearts telling me I’m a journo lets hope I have the intelligence to pass the 6 NCTJ exams I have in November. I am cramming like MAD…I don’t have a social life…any revision tips???
These exams are seriously hard! Hey Vikrant I’ve heard of the spycatcher case…rings a bell, I remember reading about it in my beloved McNae “media law for journalists”
Let me know if the books any good…. I have a really short attention span, I’d probably get bored Zzzzzzzz
My dream job would be to write for the SUN! lolz…and I wouldn’t be reviewing soaps like Anila Baig
Don’t be shy everyone has the right to express their opinion! Good luck with the exams.:)
Another mind-boggling and eye-opening fact from “White Mughals”, which I’m currently reading.
Jai if you read even more closely you’ll come to know that only claimant to the Barony of Uttoxeter lives in a Bihar village and speaks very little English.
Another mind-boggling and eye-opening fact from “White Mughals”, which I’m currently reading.
Jai if you read even more closely you’ll come to know that only possible claimant to the Barony of Uttoxeter lives in a Bihar village and speaks very little English.
heres the link folks
http://www.guardian.co.uk/g2/story/0,3604,1102052,00.html
Vik,
What a beautiful story. I’ll have to get the book, I really enjoyed ‘From The Holy Mountain’ and ‘In Xanadu’ but I haven’t read any of the others.
I just got told of a website I think people here might like:
http://www.earthalbum.com/
Click on the country, and see some really rather excellent photos of allsorts from the country. Zoom in to get the smaller countries.
Don,
Methinks City of Djinn’s is Dalrymple’s best book yet. Though i dont agree with him ideologically i like his writing.
Speaking of books, how do you people buy books? From local WHSmith or from the internet? Do you guys ever vidit your County Council libraries? My library (Surrey Heath) is reasonably well stocked.
Since i’m in Bombay rite now, i usually get my books from roadside stalls at Colaba Causeway and Fort… They sell Bootleg copies of all sirts of books for as lil as 40Rs which is just 50p!
Vikrant – I love those book stalls. When I went to India last year I spent a small fortune on books there and browsed for hours.
There’s something very cool about browsing books outside, in the warm, sipping coconuts. Mmmm.
Amir – I am a lawyer, although I am not sure that “big shot” would be fair
Clairwill, JFF, Sonia and other well-wishers:
I am missing Kismet desperately, I must say. Married life is not what I thought it would be at all. Clearly it is true after all that once you get married you stop talking…
*sigh*
Nothern_scum – the Sun!?! You make me sick young woman, lol.
I think Kismet may be busy working! For once…
Well, I appreciate Kismet working so hard to support us but at the same time he must remember that relationships take work too.
*feeds Kismet’s dinner to the dog*
there there Katy – we’ll have to have a word with young Mr. Newton as we should start referring to him as!
Dalrymple is a fabulour writer – i havent read the xanadu one yet – reminds me to order a copy online – the bloody bookshops are always sold out!
vikrant – i get my books from all over the place. online, bookshops and of course the public library.
eh i cant seem to type these days
William Dalrymple’s new book “The Last Mughal” has just come out in hardback version. I saw it in WHSmiths yesterday so am assuming it’s also available in Waterstones. Looks very good indeed; shots of lots of paintings too, along with some actual photographs of the aged Emperor which I was intrigued to see.
Available on Amazon here.
Yet another book to add to my ever-expanding shopping list, I guess
^^^I meant to add that it’s about Bahadur Shah Zafar, who was caught up in the events of 1857 and was eventually exiled to Rangoon by the British.
Support your local independent book shop that is all i will say on this thread.
William Dalrymple has too much sadness for the passing of the Mughals for my liking. I’m glad they were gotten rid of – I only wish Indians could have done it and not the British!
I only wish Indians could have done it and not the British!
Nay Jagdeep, you are insulting my Maratha ancestors. Mughal empire was virtually done for by 1740 (17 whole years before Plassey). It was Maratha Peshwas from Pune who called the shots. OFcourse the big fuck up in Panipat rendered them impotent tad too quickly… yet Marathas did defeat British once, in Wadgaon.
Bombay beggars do have a way of making you feel guilty for your hedonistic existence. My girlfriend thinks i’m just being a sentimental fool ‘n i’ll get desensitised to it… NEVER i say…
btw Jagdeep (can i call you Jaggi ?) i agree with you on Dalrymple.
‘Jag’ is fine Vikrant!
I have read his stuff, and he seems like a Mughal nostalgist, dreaming of reciting Urdu poetry at the foot of a Persian eunuch at the court of a Mughal prince in Old Delhi, as the muezzin wails the call to prayer and the harem is opened and he delights in some calligraphy as the personal ambassador of the English crown.
Alright, so the mughals built nice palaces, get over it, when you try to draw parallels between the fall of the Mughal empire and present day jihad, because of the loss of ‘Muslim Imperium’ you are overstretching yourself and talking big time bollocks, as Dalrymple seems to do sometimes.
BUT…..he is worth reading even when you disagree with his conclusions, nice research and local historical details, and despite his failures of judgment is an excellent writer.
Jag, Having read all of his books i’ve similar feelings about him, especially his stupid ‘White Mughals’ which is peddled as authentic history. He is considered to be so biased that even TLS stopped asking him to review India related books.
Actually White Mughals is one of his two books that I read, and I thought it was good, the detail and bringing to light of certain stories and experiences was fascinating and it was good to read. As long as you read it bearing in mind that his conclusions and parallels are often wrong, he is defintely worth reading. You can’t agree with everything he says, like when you read Naipaul, you can get alot out of it, as long as you stay aware of his biases and prejudices.
Well Naipaul is more articulate and he represents viewpoints that are often derided and mocked without being heard. Dalrymple on other hand laces his subtle biases with solid research and cheesy gossip. Still find it hard to believe that Dlarymple has Indian ancestry.
P.S My RSS contact phoned me about this article i wrote for PP (they got the link from Sulekha forums!)… surprisingly they arent mad at me!
Vikrant:
“Well Naipaul is more articulate and he represents viewpoints that are often derided and mocked without being heard”
There’s a reason why some of the viewpoints he represents are mocked.
And just because he is articulate doesn’t mean what he has to say is sound.
I’m almost hesitant to ask you what you meant by the above statement, ie you agree with much of Naipal’s writings….?
you agree with much of Naipal’s writings….?
Yes…. except his supportive arguments for Hindutva in India: A Million Mutinies Now
I agree about Dalrymple being a “Mughal nostalgist” as Jagdeep said; I guess he just finds it all really interesting from an academic perspective. There’s nothing wrong with that, I guess.
Look at it this way. Some people here in Britain have a similar view about the Romans. Personally I thought the mini-series “Rome” earlier this year was brilliant, and I’m really enjoying the “Ancient Rome” drama-documentary series currently on the BBC on Thursday nights. Reading about all that is fascinating too. Like the Mughal period, it all seems very glamorous and exciting. No doubt much of it really was, assuming you were on the “winning side” and had enough money and status yourself.
HOWEVER: You sure as hell wouldn’t want to be living under their rule. And, given the alternatives, I’m very glad that Roman imperial power in its original brutal form collapsed (might have been a different matter if they’d evolved into a more humane, humanitarian culture).
The same principle applies to the Mughal period, at least for me (and as a Sikh, you can guess what my viewpoint is on a number of matters involving that era). Maybe it’s the same for Dalrymple too — he loves the epic grandeur of it all, the larger-than-life figures, the sweeping events, the politics…..But it might have been a very different matter if he’d actually been a European person alive in those times, and subject to many of the regressive and/or power-driven ideas and attitudes of that age in the subcontinent (along with the developing racist attitudes back in Britain).
Having the luxury of looking back on that period as a 21st-century Western person, with 21st-century ideas and from a detached 21st-century perspective does put a different spin on things, after all