More BNP interviews


by Jai
13th March, 2010 at 9:59 am    

[Background here]

A potential BNP applicant has a screening interview with a BNP spokesman over some ironically non-indigenous tea and samosas.

Applicant: “So, how long have you guys been here ?”

BNP spokesman: “‘Guys’ is a foreign American term representing an alien culture and we’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t pollute Britain’s traditional culture and values by using such genocidal words. But to answer your question, we’ve been here since the end of the last Ice Age.”

Applicant: “When was that ?”

BNP: “17,000 years ago.”

Applicant: “The Ice Age actually ended 12-13,000 years ago.”

BNP: “That’s what I said.”

Applicant: “No you didn’t.”

BNP: “Yes I did. You’re quoting me out of context.”

Applicant: “I’ve recorded it on my iPhone. Listen, I’ll play it back to you.”

BNP: “I misspoke. We’ve actually been here for 65 million years, since the end of the Cretaceous Era.”

Applicant: “What ?”

BNP: “Yes. We’re Britain’s indigenous aboriginal population.”

Applicant: “What about the original inhabitants ?”

BNP: “Which inhabitants ?”

Applicant: “The dinosaurs.”

BNP: “Ah. Well, we ‘voluntarily repatriated’ them.”

Applicant: “How ?”

BNP: “That’s not important. Britain was swamped with unassimilable aliens, they were undermining our genetic integrity and cultural homogeneity, we repatriated them, it was voluntary, and that was that.”

Applicant: “All of them ?”

BNP: “Yes.”

Applicant: “How did you convince them to accept ‘voluntary repatriation’ ?”

BNP: “We gave them a firm incentive.”

Applicant: “What kind of firm incentive ?”

BNP: “We said ‘Get out or we’ll kill you’.”

Applicant: “Seriously ?”

BNP: “No. We asked Jesus to intervene.”

Applicant: “Er…..Christianity didn’t exist 65 million years ago.”

BNP: “Yes it did. It’s one of Britain’s indigenous religions.”

Applicant: “No it’s not. Tell me how you got rid of the dinosaurs.”

BNP: “LOOK, WE PRAYED TO OUR ANGLO-SAXON-CELTIC-NORSE-FOLKIST GODS AND THEY SENT AN ASTEROID TO WIPE OUT THE DIRTY NON-WHITE FOREIGNERS, ALRIGHT ?!”

Applicant: “That’s not on the BNP’s website.”

BNP: “Most of our real views aren’t.”

[Reprinted by Rumbold]


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Filed in: Humour,The BNP






14 Comments below   |  

Reactions: Twitter, blogs
  1. pickles

    Blog post:: More BNP interviews http://bit.ly/arkZoD


  2. Luke McGee

    RT @pickledpolitics: Blog post:: More BNP interviews http://bit.ly/arkZoD


  3. Kevin Blanchard

    RT @pickledpolitics: Blog post:: More BNP interviews http://bit.ly/arkZoD


  4. Bhaskar Dasgupta

    heh@ BNP interview. http://is.gd/asRap #ukpolitics. Anybody who says he is BNP is extremely amusing, good for long laughs


  5. earwicga

    RT @pickledpolitics http://bit.ly/arkZoD


  6. Yakoub Islam

    More BNP interviews: RT @pickledpolitics http://bit.ly/as5Ntk




  1. Naadir Jeewa — on 13th March, 2010 at 10:59 am  

    ROFLCOPTER

  2. chairwoman — on 13th March, 2010 at 11:23 am  

    It’s good to hear from Lee Barnes again :)

  3. Gurpreet — on 13th March, 2010 at 1:34 pm  

    :D

  4. hila rity — on 13th March, 2010 at 4:03 pm  

    What tosh. Satire is meant to actually be funny, you know?

  5. Jai — on 13th March, 2010 at 5:02 pm  

    Thanks for reproducing this as a separate article, Rumbold.

  6. earwicga — on 13th March, 2010 at 7:36 pm  

    If Rumbold hadn’t then I would have done Jai. Brilliant!

  7. KJB — on 13th March, 2010 at 10:12 pm  

    *applause*

  8. TM — on 14th March, 2010 at 12:13 pm  

    “”"What tosh. Satire is meant to actually be funny, you know?’”"”

    Aren’t the BNP actually meant to be funny too? or at least unintentionally?

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