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  • It’s the weekend refuge-from-politics thread!


    by Katy
    10th September, 2006 at 2:19 pm    

    Slightly late, but no less welcome for all that. For various reasons I am not in the mood to be particularly amusing this weekend (although of course it’s a moot point whether I ever am anyway) but anyone who wants to talk about anything that isn’t political is more than welcome here.

    Share those weekend plans! Post those amusing YouTube videos! And put some moves on the Pickly ladies (if you’re Kismet Hardy)! It’s all happening here at the weekend refuge-from-politics thread…


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    67 Comments below   |  

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    1. Sunny — on 10th September, 2006 at 2:24 pm  

      Kismet doesn’t care if it’s a lady or not.

    2. Jai — on 10th September, 2006 at 2:34 pm  

      Kismet doesn’t care if it’s human or not.

    3. Jai — on 10th September, 2006 at 2:35 pm  

      There used to be a joke doing the rounds amongst Asians when I was at university many moons ago:

      “If it moves, f*** it. If it doesn’t move, f*** it ’til it moves !!!”

    4. Katy — on 10th September, 2006 at 2:36 pm  

      As one of the Pickly ladies frequently in receipt of Kismet’s moves, I find myself vaguely disconcerted by both of the foregoing comments…

    5. Katy — on 10th September, 2006 at 2:36 pm  

      … and the less said about #3 the better :-)

    6. Chairwoman — on 10th September, 2006 at 2:38 pm  

      Jai - Naughty corner!

    7. Jai — on 10th September, 2006 at 2:40 pm  

      Post #3 was directed at Kismet and his fellow furryiophiles, although of course it applies to admirers of inanimate objects too.

      Speaking of animals, I saw this amusing and slightly dubious article a couple of days ago: A 6-metre-long giant python in Malaysia ate a fully-grown pregnant sheep and ended up so full it got stuck in the middle of a road and had to be rescued by firefighters. I’m not sure if the sheep was still alive when the snake swallowed it whole, but it’s still crazy stuff.

      Article here (with photograph).

    8. Kismet Hardy — on 10th September, 2006 at 2:48 pm  

      I feel the time has come for me to restore my reputation, so in the spirit of showing I’m not just all about buggering sheep for cheap pun, I’d like to propose a weighty discussion regarding Emperor Asoka, the nazis and anti-gravitational propulsion. My thoughts on the matter is as follows: Imagine fucking a flying monkey

    9. Jagdeep — on 10th September, 2006 at 2:49 pm  

      That photograph is nightmarish. I saw a picture in Bizarre magazine of a man in Indonesia who had been swallowed by a python or boa constrictor. They photographed the snake with the bulge and then after they cut it open with the body in a foetal position inside the snake. What a way to go.

    10. Neil — on 10th September, 2006 at 2:50 pm  

      Jai did you follow that saying in uni? If it doesn’t move its not likely too…..and you would be hard pressed trying to explain that in court.

      ‘Oh i only did it cos juggy said to, your honour’

    11. Jai — on 10th September, 2006 at 2:53 pm  

      Neil,

      No I didn’t, I just played a small part in spreading that joke around Asian student circles in London at the time.

    12. Kismet Hardy — on 10th September, 2006 at 2:55 pm  

      I spread VD at uni

    13. Kismet Hardy — on 10th September, 2006 at 2:58 pm  

      And scabies

    14. Neil — on 10th September, 2006 at 2:59 pm  

      sunny spread aids at uni

    15. Kismet Hardy — on 10th September, 2006 at 3:00 pm  

      Also:

      Bacterial Infections and Mycoses
      Virus Diseases
      Parasitic Diseases
      Neoplasms (Cancer)
      Musculoskeletal Diseases
      Digestive System Diseases
      Stomatognathic Diseases
      Respiratory Tract Diseases
      Otorhinolaryngologic Diseases
      Nervous System Diseases
      Eye Diseases
      Urologic and Male Genital Diseases
      Female Genital Diseases and Pregnancy Complications
      Cardiovascular Diseases
      Hemic and Lymphatic Diseases
      Congenital, Hereditary, and Neonatal Diseases and Abnormalities
      Skin and Connective Tissue Diseases
      Nutritional and Metabolic Diseases
      Endocrine Diseases
      Immunologic Diseases

      Animal Diseases

    16. Katy — on 10th September, 2006 at 3:01 pm  

      You can catch scabies just by sharing a towel, you know.

    17. Neil — on 10th September, 2006 at 3:03 pm  

      Here is something funny; Random google headline i picked up reads

      “Pope’s parents ‘met through personal ad’”

      Its only interesting cos he is the pope, but what if someone had made a typo and she couldnt leave a message on his voicemail box number?

    18. Sunny — on 10th September, 2006 at 3:13 pm  

      See this is what you get when you ask to avoid politics Katy - sheep eating pythons and STDs. I’ll wait until Raz provides some of his infamous links again.

    19. Kismet Hardy — on 10th September, 2006 at 3:17 pm  

      “You can catch scabies just by sharing a towel, you know.”

      You didn’t think I caught it through having sex did you?

      Bless you

    20. Kismet Hardy — on 10th September, 2006 at 3:27 pm  

      I just got told off by a 9-year-old for eating with my mouth full.

      English etiquette at dinner, I put it to you, is balls. Eating is a primal urge and, if there’s one traditional we’ve got that’s infinitely superior to the british way, it’s our eating habits. Don’t wait for everyone to sit down, eat when it’s put before you, use your hands, grunt, belch, fart, guffaw if you must, leave when you’re done. All this without worrying about elbows and napkins and such.

      I’m only telling you this because I’m too scared to take on the 9-year-old

    21. BevanKieran — on 10th September, 2006 at 3:35 pm  

      Polish Krishna consciousness Death Metal.

      “Maha Mantra” isn’t bad.

    22. Katy — on 10th September, 2006 at 3:38 pm  

      O Kismet, if only you would update your blog.

      (before you ask:

      http://www.blogger.com

      and then your username and password)

    23. Kismet Hardy — on 10th September, 2006 at 3:43 pm  

      O Katy, if only you would give me your phone number and all your unwanted panty hose

    24. Vikrant — on 10th September, 2006 at 3:51 pm  

      Having heard about how diffcult is it to get condoms from sermonising pharmacists from me mates… i decided try and buy some myself. Actually we had a bet… So my mate finds this medical store with a female attendant and loads of auntie costumers. The worst seeting for buying a condom in India!

      So i approach the attendant and ask for a condom.

      She reddens.
      Aunty 1 looks at me as if i’m a regular sex offender.
      Aunty 2 pretends not to have heard me.
      Aunty 3 glares at me
      Aunty 4 looks longingly at me (eewww)

      The attendant waits till all the aunties are gone… and asks me which ones i want.

      ME: Err… do you carry Durex condoms?
      Attendant :( whispers): no we only carry dotted and ribbed ones..
      ME: Actually durex is a brand…
      Attendant: Oh… brands… we have have Jaroor, Moods… Kamasutra
      ME: Hand me Kamasutra it sounds good.

      Buying condoms in India sure is a battle in its own right.

      Geez buying condoms in India is a battle in its own right.

    25. Sunny — on 10th September, 2006 at 3:53 pm  

      I thought my computer had been taken over by some deadly virus when I heard that Bevan.

    26. Rakhee — on 10th September, 2006 at 3:55 pm  

      Lol.

      We now have pythons, pregnant sheep, horny aunty-jis and Vikrant with a pack of Kamasutra condoms.

      I feel a story coming on….;)

    27. Vikrant — on 10th September, 2006 at 3:55 pm  

      btw… any of you guys have an orkut profile?

    28. Rohin — on 10th September, 2006 at 4:03 pm  

      I read a website dedicated to condoms in India. In fact I linked it from PP. Very interesting. And I’d love to have all the Kama Sutra ads from over the years, collectors’ items.

      My weekend antics are up on me blog. Kismet you said you disagreed with me on my last post, but I don’t get what you disagreed with. Or you were being faecetious. Bastard guy.

    29. Chairwoman — on 10th September, 2006 at 4:05 pm  

      Kismet - I assume you’re planning an armed robbery.

    30. Katy — on 10th September, 2006 at 4:09 pm  

      I have never heard of Kamasutra condoms so I looked them up on the web, and found this, which I think is the webpage for the brand.

      http://www.ksontheweb.com/34/category.ift

      Incidentally, can anyone tell me how many people are involved in the Kshobhaka position? After detailed examination of the handy illustration I have narrowed it down to:

      (a) one man and two women.
      (b) one man and one woman with four legs.

      I am liking (b). It gets extra points for diversity.

    31. Sunny — on 10th September, 2006 at 4:16 pm  

      Vik - nope. Never wasted time with any of the social networking sites.

    32. Amir — on 10th September, 2006 at 6:11 pm  

      ENG-AR-LAND ENG-AR-LAND!!!!

      Ing…Ing…Ing…Ar..Land!!

      2-2
      3-0

      2-2
      3-0

      Pakistan Zindabad?
      Pakistan Are-really-bad!
      Pakistan Are-really-bad!

      Sajid Mahmood. A true Patriot. A fine cricketer. Fighting for his country against the Pakistani fifth column!

      2-2 + 3-0 = 5-2 for England.

      Read it and weep.

    33. Amir — on 10th September, 2006 at 6:13 pm  

      Amey (a.k.a. Vikrant),

      Did you see the cricket match?

      Raz… did YOU see the cricket match. I hope so. ;-)

    34. Amir — on 10th September, 2006 at 6:18 pm  

      And, err, who, *cough cough* was awarded Man of the Match?

      Who else? But Sajid Mahmood!

      Read it and weep.

    35. Amir — on 10th September, 2006 at 6:23 pm  

      WHERE’S RAZ? HE’S A VERY SHY BOY TODAY. :-)

    36. Amey — on 10th September, 2006 at 6:55 pm  

      Hooray we tied the series with those uncouth ball-tampering idiots…. thanks for the news Amir.

      Anyways i’ll be 17 this thursday! Will be going down to my ancestral home Alibaug (which incidently was a predominantly Jewish town with a Muslim name)… i have plans for Mr.Chiplunkar’s lovely niece… ;)

    37. विक्रान्त Vikrant — on 10th September, 2006 at 7:07 pm  

      यह एक टेस्ट है | क्या आप यह सब पढ सकते हो ?

      Gangsta.. i’ve just learnt to type in Devnagri Hindi!

    38. BevanKieran — on 10th September, 2006 at 7:22 pm  

      I thought my computer had been taken over by some deadly virus when I heard that.

      LOL…how about a fusion hindi film music with some techno beats and some kind of drum?

      BKAB Speechless is from V for Vendetta (credits) and features a sample from the majestic “Pardesi Pardesi Jaana Nahin”.

    39. विक्रान्त Vikrant — on 10th September, 2006 at 7:26 pm  

      I’m still traumatised by Jai’s python picture to nything useful tonite….

    40. BevanKieran — on 10th September, 2006 at 7:28 pm  

      Doh!.

    41. Amir — on 10th September, 2006 at 7:46 pm  

      Amey,

      Alibag se aaila hai kya? 8)

    42. Don — on 10th September, 2006 at 7:48 pm  

      Some bastard identity thieved me, I discovered last week, major inconvenience. Threatened with bailiffs for matters I know nothing of. The local fuzz just threw up their hands and admitted they hadn’t the foggiest what to do. ( Mind you, they tend to do that with anything that doesn’t involve sheep or tractor-related crimes). They suggested trying the internet.

      Anybody else have that shit happen?

    43. Amir — on 10th September, 2006 at 7:51 pm  

      Katy,

      ‘And put some moves on the Pickly ladies (if you’re Kismet Hardy)!’

      What…? Am I banned or somethin’?

      Charming!

    44. Katy Newton — on 10th September, 2006 at 7:56 pm  

      Actually, Amir, ever since your kind comments on the small-waisted large-breasted lady I must confess to finding your comments particularly interesting and relevant.

      *twiddles hair round finger alluringly*

    45. विक्रान्त Vikrant — on 10th September, 2006 at 7:56 pm  

      Alibag se aaila hai kya? 8)

      Amir…shhh…
      Theres no way you know that joke unless you’ve been to Bombay.. or maybe its just a case of efficient googling.

    46. Katy Newton — on 10th September, 2006 at 7:59 pm  

      Don, try here as a starting point:

    47. विक्रान्त Vikrant — on 10th September, 2006 at 8:04 pm  

      Oh shit Amir, i know hwere you got that line from.. but i’m not going to tell everybody lest the line sticks with meh!

    48. Sunny — on 10th September, 2006 at 8:06 pm  

      Nasty stuff Don, haven’t been affected by that yet, thank god.

    49. विक्रान्त Vikrant — on 10th September, 2006 at 8:06 pm  

      Don,

      Fuck man… shit… this shoudlnt av happened with ya. I suggest you contact MetPol..

    50. Sunny — on 10th September, 2006 at 8:09 pm  

      That ripping and cutting of hindi lyrics on that song doesn’t really work for me, probably because I know the originals. But, interesting find Bevan!

      Vikrant - your devanagri comes as as question marks for me.

    51. विक्रान्त Vikrant — on 10th September, 2006 at 8:12 pm  

      Bloodtraitor!

      Fix your WinXP to show Indic scripts…. NOW!

      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Enabling_complex_text_support_for_Indic_scripts

    52. Katy Newton — on 10th September, 2006 at 8:14 pm  

      Don, the culprit is often a garage that you’ve used your credit card at, or a restaurant/takeaway, because they have a high turnover of badly paid staff, so check your bank statements. I am not surprised that your local force didn’t know what to do, but the link I gave you should put you in touch with the Met’s identity theft department and hopefully they will.

      Now I am going to go and make a delicious slap-up meal for the residents of Chateau Newton, because amongst all of my other talents I am also (fanfare please) a Domestic Goddess.

    53. विक्रान्त Vikrant — on 10th September, 2006 at 8:20 pm  

      Neeways… Sunny i’m lapsing into my irritant persona. Guess it coz of all the sleep deprivation.

      Go to

      Start>>Control Panel>>Date,Time,Language sett.>>Regional and Language options>>Advanced

      Check Devnagri to enable it..

    54. Amir — on 10th September, 2006 at 9:22 pm  

      Don,

      That’s awful. If I knew where you lived, I’d take you out for a pint and a kebab. Cheer you up.

    55. Amir — on 10th September, 2006 at 9:23 pm  

      Domestic Goddess,

      I must confess to finding your comments particularly interesting and relevant.

      Well, Katy. That’s my technique. Mr. Hundal thinks he can win hearts and minds vis-à-vis rational argument and the power of the English language. I don’t. My money’s on Freud and Fichte: lust is the ultimate goal (and vehicle) of almost all human endeavour. Nothing would please me more than to engage with you in further “debate.” :-)

    56. Amir — on 10th September, 2006 at 9:35 pm  

      Viki!!

      Have you been spending too long in the Alibag sun?

    57. Don — on 10th September, 2006 at 9:52 pm  

      Thanks, Katy and you guys. I’m on top of it now. Looks like tenants in a house I sold six years back picking up on junk credit card ‘pre-selected’ crap and catalogue stuff. I can fix the credit rating (although I have better things to spend my time on) but what hurts is the shit they bought. I mean, sovereign rings were involved…

    58. sunray — on 10th September, 2006 at 10:32 pm  

      a blast from the past
      no intro required

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7-9UTwT0DS4&mode=related&search

      http://www.krishna.org/Articles/2000/08/00066.html

    59. Amir — on 10th September, 2006 at 10:33 pm  

      Razzy Razzy Razzy,

      Come out, come out, wherever you are…

      I won’t mention anything about Pakistan’s humiliating defeat to England today. *Promise*

      Or the fact that your captain is a sneaky ball fiddler. ;-)

    60. Clairwil — on 11th September, 2006 at 12:13 am  

      Why has Kismet never made a pass at me? I’m deeply offended, though willing to send him one of my thongs if he obliges. I wouldn’t mind but the fact he looks to other species before me makes my heart so sad.

    61. raz — on 11th September, 2006 at 12:28 am  

      :(

    62. Amir — on 11th September, 2006 at 1:48 am  

      :-)

    63. Amir — on 11th September, 2006 at 1:50 am  

      Katy,

      Did you save any food for me?

    64. Katy Newton — on 11th September, 2006 at 2:09 am  

      I think there is some roasted barbecue chicken left. I am afraid that the roasted chicken thighs stuffed with a mixture of spiced minced chicken and dried fruit went pretty quickly though, as did the caramelised sweet potato.

      *smirks*

    65. Oli — on 11th September, 2006 at 9:01 am  

      Dibs on the BBQ Chicken =D

    66. Kismet Hardy — on 11th September, 2006 at 10:13 am  

      clairwill, I de-clair my will-y yours

      I know how to make women moan

    67. Clairwil — on 11th September, 2006 at 9:25 pm  

      At last!

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