Valentine’s coming – and I hate it!


by guest
17th January, 2010 at 9:37 am    

guest post by Rupy Kaur as part of Sunday Speaker’s Corner

In a months time it’ll be Valentine’s Day (VD) and soon there will be lovey dovey gifts in all the shops along with love hearted balloons. Well it’s time for those balloons to be POPPED! Like venereal disease, VD has also become diseased. When people make a show and a dance from expressing their love, it is questionable as to whether their love is actually real.

Being a disabled activist I have noticed that within the disability world there is the constant debate and presumption that disabled people find it hard to find a partner due to their disability. I avoid reading articles about ‘disability and sex/relationships’ as I find them stupid! Especially when reading things like, ‘a mother of a 21 year old, autistic boy, wishes to pay a woman to have sex with him…’ awkward silence and feelings of WEIRDNESS will then follow…

WAKE UP people!!! Yes, disability is a variable when choosing the right partner but there other variables too. Perhaps you are just boring, or have green teeth and smell real bad? Maybe you’re culturally different and therefore have different opinions on certain values? Unfortunately, it is estimated that only 1/3 people will find you attractive anyway, disabled, or non-disabled.

Choosing a life partner is like choosing the right pair of shoes. A shoe shop may be filled with lots of lovely shoes. However only s few will have the right balance – shoes which are comfy, yet stylish at the same time. Sometimes it can take years to find the right pair of shoes, but when you do, you’ll never want to chuck those shoes away.


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  1. pickles

    Blog post:: Valentine's coming – and I hate it! http://bit.ly/5ch06A


  2. earwicga

    RT @pickledpolitics: Blog post:: Valentine's coming – and I hate it! http://bit.ly/5ch06A


  3. Mike Power

    "Choosing a life partner is like choosing the right pair of shoes." http://bit.ly/5rE2AM Erm. No. Ever had a pair of shoes walk out on you?




  1. Rumbold — on 17th January, 2010 at 10:05 am  

    Choosing a life partner is like choosing the right pair of shoes. A shoe shop may be filled with lots of lovely shoes. However only s few will have the right balance – shoes which are comfy, yet stylish at the same time. Sometimes it can take years to find the right pair of shoes, but when you do, you’ll never want to chuck those shoes away.

    I heartily agree. More people need to realise this.

  2. MiriamBinder — on 17th January, 2010 at 10:14 am  

    Too much emphasis is put on the need to be a couple. Only a person who is at peace with themselves can be at peace with another. The drivel behind the St Valentines Day is just more of the relentless push to settle and become one of pair; with the emphasis being on pairing rather then fitting together well.

    Though I appreciate the analogy with a decent fitting pair of shoes, people do not walk around barefoot till they finally do get to meet their perfect pair of shoes. It may therefore not be the best of analogies ;)

  3. Lianne — on 17th January, 2010 at 10:32 am  

    Completely agree about the stupidity of going overboard in public displays of excessive consumerist competitiveness on Valentine’s Day. What kind of real relationship doesn’t involve acts of love for the remainder of the year?

    Besides it doesn’t even necessarily have to be about couples. I usually use it as an opportunity to remind friends and family about how much I love them – through small gestures not necessarily associated with buying balloons/roses/other red-themed card shop junk. Reclaim the holiday!

  4. earwicga — on 17th January, 2010 at 10:33 am  

    Valentines day means V-Day http://www.vday.org/home

  5. halima — on 17th January, 2010 at 11:36 am  

    Shoes? i usually don’t pay attention much to shoes and my feet suffer for it, though, due to fast way I walk about ( always in a hurry and no sense of distance) – any shoe has a hard time keeping up, and shelf life is short. I’d hate to apply that to a life partner! These days I am wearing fake converses , because everything in Beijing is just too expensive, so, not quite sure where the analogy leaves me!

    Is this thread doubling up as a weekend open thread? Where have our non-political threads gone?
    .

  6. John Smith — on 17th January, 2010 at 1:23 pm  

    It’s ‘Saint Valentines Day’ you worthless lefties.

    Why not just admit you hate everything about this country and want to turn it into Crapistan-on-sea?

    Hmmm?

  7. MiriamBinder — on 17th January, 2010 at 2:12 pm  

    @ John Smith # 6 – Being fully aware of how senseless this is:

    1. St. Valentine is actually a Catholic Saint.
    I thought that the British defender of the faith, HRH, is head of the Anglican rather then the Catholic church. As a Jew I stand to be corrected.

    2. Even as a Saint Day in the 1969 revision of the Roman Catholic Calendar of Saints, the feast-day of Saint Valentine on February 14 was removed from the General Roman Calendar.
    So effectively it is now relegated to local calendars to do with as they will ;)

    3. St Valentine’s Day as it is celebrated throughout the West, including the UK, is a “Hallmark holiday”.
    Essentially a holiday that exists primarily for commercial purposes, rather than to commemorate a traditionally significant religious or secular event.

  8. Katy Newton — on 17th January, 2010 at 2:14 pm  

    ooh, well said, and may I just add:

    4. St Valentine was either Italian or African, so not exactly a bastion of white Middle England conservatism, and probably considered a bit of a worthless lefty himself in his day.

  9. John Smith — on 17th January, 2010 at 4:18 pm  

    @ MiriamBinder

    1. So what

    2. So what

    3. So what

    @ Katy Newton

    4. So what

  10. MiriamBinder — on 17th January, 2010 at 5:08 pm  

    @ John Smith # 9 – So absolutely nothing. Carry on getting het up at fire breathing dragons of your own imagination John and have a long and fruitful life doing so ;)

  11. Don — on 17th January, 2010 at 5:44 pm  

    It strikes me that getting the right gig as a saint is a bit of a lottery. It’s all very well if you get lovers, surgeons, sailors or mountaineers, but when Fiacre was told he was now patron saint of haemorrhoid sufferers, those with STD’s and cabbies I’m guessing the grateful smile was a little tight.

    ‘Oh. Haemorrhoids. Thanks, that’s …great. Firefighters have already been taken then, have they? Right. Circus acrobats? No, that’s fine. It’s just that when I was a kid I always wanted…and this being heaven and all, I was just wondering…No? OK, so, haemorrhoids, cabbies and syph. That’s for eternity, right? Thought so. Well, at least it wasn’t bloggers.’

  12. Kulvinder — on 17th January, 2010 at 6:53 pm  

    Is he pro or anti haemorrhoids?

  13. MiriamBinder — on 17th January, 2010 at 7:08 pm  

    He probably considers them anti-British … Oh, I see, you were asking about St Fiacre … I thought we were talking about John Smith. My mistake …

  14. Don — on 17th January, 2010 at 9:00 pm  

    Kulvinder,

    Very anti. Mainly because the cool saints keep giving him wedgies.

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