I know a family where a child from a previous relationship was kept secret by their mother. Years later when the child sought out the mother, the couple’s relationship was mature and deep enough for it to the child to be welcomed. However, the child was also mature in how they approached their mother.

I also know a few adopted people, and I think they would be upset to think that their birth mother was unable to get into a stable new relationship because potential partners had an issue with her having had and lost/given away their child previously.

I would not agree with the dishonesty involved in hiding a previous child, and would not do so myself. But, to be honest, I could accept it being hidden from me and later finding out. It may be cowardice not to tell a potential partner certain things, but it may also be a greater wisdom which in this case I am just personally incapable of.

Don worry i know like half the people there. This El Cid guy is a New Yorker with pucca Bible belt ideology.

SOME of the main fundraisers for the terror group suspected of masterminding the Bombay train bombings are operating from Britain, according to Indian intelligence officials.

The officials accuse Britain of failing to act against a number of wealthy businessmen, who they claim are using bogus charities to funnel up to £8 million a year to Kashmiri militants groups, such as Lashkar-e-Taiba, which remains the main suspect for orchestrating the synchronised bombings that killed 182 people.

One of those identified in the dossier is reported to be a Pakistan-born multimillionaire businessman who owns at least two luxury homes in London.

Professor Paul Wilkinson, of the Centre for the Study of Terrorism and Political Violence at the University of St Andrews, said: “It is very sad the figure for the money still flowing to the likes of Lashkar has not been substantially reduced by now. It is difficult to track the money trail, but we should put more resources to doing so.”

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,25689-2273287,00.html

The point about the children is that they will have
to live with this forever and the memory I’m sure will never go away.

They’re basically being told from a young age (by their own flesh and blood) that this is what will happen if you even think about doing something similar. Plus the trauma of seeing their aunt killed in such a horrific way. No amount of counselling will overcome it I don’t think.

Scarred for life.

I never usually burn but yesterday is the second time it has happened this year. First was in Thailand in February and yesterday went for a picnic while (wait for it) walking through the forests! Go figure. Cucumber water helps.

Re Samaira Nazir, I couldn’t stop thinking about it all weekend (I read the piece on Friday). The worst part is that her nieces (aged 2 and 4) were allegedly forced to watch and found covered in blood screaming.

Something has got to be done….

Thank you for sharing that link, I didn’t even know that there was a protest going on yesterday.
I’m so glad that people are still protesting vocally about this ‘anomaly’.

c) Is the parents’ attitude justified?
Depends. Even if they are taking the cue from her and their primary wish is to see her resettled happily, it is still a dodgy decision to junk the grandchild and erase his memory.

Mirax – I think you’ve hit the nail on the head here. The angst last night was as much about the fact that the parents seem to be going along with her choices “because they want her to be happy” and married, as much as it was about what The Sister does (I think we’re all agreed she should be honest with her fiance).

So, my friend is going to do her best to harp on vocally about the need to be honest about the child, and hope that at least the folks see sense. A the sister of someone who is getting engaged, she wants to avoid being accused of jealousy and interference, but she hopes her parents won’t be able to avoid the unpalatable truths if she drones on about it like a stuck record! The difficulty is in bringing this sistuation to a head, without alienating everyone in the process. If it does, I’ll be sure to let you know all the operatic details. This is playground stuff compared to Samaira Nazir.

Then there is whah lahn/whah lahn eh meaning “oh penis!” which is so innocuous that kids, teachers use it, you can even hear it on TV. People use it in the sense of “oh damn!” or to express awe, it’s our Singlish “wow!”, no kidding.

I just realised that the Malays seem not to swear at all- at least not in my hearing.

I went to insultmonger.com to look up Tamil swear words – not that many but learnt the dirty meanings of some quite common expressions.

There was this classic phrase: thevadiya (prostitute) poodaiyin (her c***’s) vervaiyele (sweat)molaicha (grown/ sprung from) kahlahn(fungi/mushroom), meaning
“You fungi sprouted from the sweat of a prostitute’s c***!” Great huh? Neat play on VD.

Yeah, c*nt is sometimes used in casual way in the UK, to mean “plonker”, but you really need to be on friendly terms with the person.
In fact, the way it’s usually used in the UK reminds me of “cabron” in Spanish, which literally means cuckold. It’s as aggresive as c*nt but is also used with impunity between friends, especially in Mexico.

I’d really like to go to Central/South America one day – so much history, food & drink to get cracking with

The variations I mentioned are very serious, since it is one’s sainted mother being insulted.

>>But it’s got me thinking, I wonder… is it somehow linked to the Jamaican poo-nah-nee? After all, dat means pussy too.
Don’t you just love the way language morphs around the world?

I must look this up. If it is a Tamil word, rather than a loan word from sanskrit (doesn’t sound likely in this case), then it is likely to be original. The Tamil language is one of the world’s oldest living languages, in fact one of the two ‘classical’ languages of India, as recognised by the Indian government (the other being sanskrit of course, dead as a nail)

If you say, poonda-mahgal, you mean daughter of a c***.

Poonda-mahgan, son of a C****. It is the mofo equivalent.

Tamil swearwords are totally useless, because a non-native can almost never get the accent right so you are likely to bemuse or amuse rather than insult a Tamil person with this. That’s why I only swear in english – everyone understands the insult;-)