It’s the weekend open thread!
Only a week since my first ever weekend open thread and already I have another weekend to contend with. And what a week it’s been. Mumbai. The Natwest Three. The Middle East.
Well, we aren’t going to be talking about any of those here. Ha. If you want to be all scarily knowledgeable and political then you’ll have to go to elsewhere I am afraid. Posting about that sort of thing here would be like going into a shop which sells delicate tiny porcelain and crystal sculptures and perhaps some of those little ornate metal picture frames with flowers on them and slapping a huge raw bleeding side of meat down on the counter, and I think we can all agree that that would be inappropriate behaviour in that sort of venue.
No, I want to hear about your non-political, preferably-but-not-compulsorily-non-footballing issues instead. Perhaps something amusing or interesting has happened to you this week. For example, I was followed down the road by an overenthusiastic would-be rapist suitor driving a VW Passat and sporting a Bluetooth headset, which was quite scary at the time as I was heading for an ill-lit, deserted underground car park. And I was also propositioned by my dustman, who is one of the best-looking men I have ever seen in real life outside of the cinema. So it was a week of highs and lows for me, thank you for asking.
Or perhaps you might have something extra specially special planned for the weekend. I am going to a wedding today, which will only emphasise my tragic thirtysomething manlessness and the fact it is only a matter of time before I have to start buying lots of cats and sporting a wild unkempt hairstyle be a day of great happiness not only for the happy couple but for all of us who wish them well too.
That sort of thing will do very nicely, thank you…
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As far away from politics as one can get, i’ve just caught the eviction show on channel 4…
is nikki like the greatest thing ever?!
u sound hot
What am I going to do this weekend. No lawns to mow, thank god. But I have a ton of utensils to wash and have to hoover the entire house. Damn I hate chores. :’(
I’m here in rainy Alibaug. Rain gods seem to packing as much water as Surrey Heath recieves in one year! Ahh… only if it rained like this in England our water woes would be solved! The power is down here,( folks call it “load shedding” ) since there is a huge power shortfall. These guys here sit out with no power for 8 fucking hours a day so that Mumbai gets uninterrupted power supply! Though most of the guys here have generators!
Neeways i’ll be heading to an RSS meet tonight, will keep you guys posted!
Gets swamped at work, doesn’t check in for a few weeks, and finds the lunatics have taken over the asylum. Who let Katy start posting?
On the other hand, I do like cats. Toxoplasma. Discuss?
Vikrant – resist the dark side!
Katy – Is it an Indian wedding? Aren’t there any aunties you can ask to hook you up? That’s what happens at Indian weddings. In fact I usually get harassed about marriage.
lol,
I’m going out of curiosity (of both RSSwallaha and Konkan Brahmin chicks that throng there
) These green-eyed pale Maharstrian chicks are said to be the fairest in India.
Another weekend, another BBQ.
Hmm… rack of southern style ribs, a selection of fine sausages, sweet red peppers and sardines, plus a goat cheese salad and some kiwi sauvignoc blanc.
i say, turned out nice again!
on a less bright note, are these people possibly the biggest cunts ever, right up there with serial paedophiles:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/crime/article/0,,1821073,00.html
My grandfather for example never fails to mention that his mum was a Konkan Brahmin or Kobras as they are called (HINT: Godse, Savarkar we Kobras!)
What Vikrant? Running after fundy chicks? Their male counterparts dont like anybody fucking with their gals.
What Vikrant? Running after fundy chicks?
Couldnt care less as long as they are well endowed
Fanatical women are the best. For a start they’re mad, so you don’t have to keep guess, you just know.
Mat – Katy just took over the role. It was like… she made the weekend threads hers, so I had to give in
Waitig for my
PornsterPartner in Crime… raz where r ya?i’ve been watching maine pyar kiya.
its twenty years old!
i miss vintage bollywood – evil fashion, dodgy haircuts, unrequited love and dhooshum dhooshum fighting!
bollywood suck these days!
RAZ IS IN THE HOUSE!
I love summer. Poondi time!
I’ve been writing a piece about how great the Nintendo wii is gonna be, and how Sony have lost it with the ps3 and it’s £500 pricing. Every Empire falls and Sony has stolen way too much to continue with it’s current dominance…
I’ve also been thinking a lot about the future of digital distribution, I attended a workshop yesterday with reps from Film and TV publishers and was quite suprised how quickly everything is moving forward. They agreed that TV will most likely be dead in 10 years, being replaced by TV-on-Demand, as consumers begin to demand everything with immediate digital access, folks were discussing interactive news stories to your mobile phone and everyone having their ‘own’ channel which beams all the programs they subscribe to, rather than having to watch conventional TV for.
Mr Raz! How is the weekend holding up for you?
Nyrone – Don’t see that happening. Firstly people are lazy and will happily just switch on a channel and watch what they’re fed most of the time. Hence why the BBC and ITV still survive. Plus, if you have on-demand all the time, people won’t experiment. What would be the point of making a new show if people don’t programme for it in advance? Where would you trail a new show?
Off to see Superman Returns tonight! Man I hope they haven’t fucked it up…
Poondi time!
Er, what does poondi mean in your lang? It sounds almost identical to the tamil word for c*nt…which is the ONLY bad word I know in my lang, which tells you just how proper and genteel my upbringing was.
Yyeah don’t pretend Mirax, we know you be keepin it real in the ghetto
Leon – I hope so too! Am gonna see it Wednesday. Right now I’ve eaten too much food and am sitting here like a beached whale.
Pink around the edges and just back from taking my daughter and her friends to Haltwhistle open air pool.
http://www.hslc.freeserve.co.uk/pool1.jpg
Apparently, the smallest town in Britain to have one. It’s got a flume, too. Meanwhile I was walking the dog down Warks Burn.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Warks_Burn_Haltwhistle.jpg
It’s a roller-coaster of excitement round here.
Looks like nice countryside.
I’m off to have a few birthday drinks in an hour. I may be back later and write fuzzy, drunk messages. I apologise in advance.
It’s your birthday?
Poondi is Lahore slang. Technically it means “birdwatching”
Relax to this;
http://www.serpentproject.com/imagecomp_cat5short.php
via http://scienceblogs.com/pharyngula/
Moral Dilemma of the week: Hello all. I’ve just been out for a curry for someone’s birthday (not mine) so I’m feeling pretty bloated. Too much nan.
A Hindu Indian friend of mine and her sister spent half the time arguing about something, in Hindi. I didn’t understand what they were on about until afterwards, when The Sister had left. Apparently, my friend has a rather bizarre moral dilemma to overcome, which we thought we would share. I hope it doesn’t weird you out too much, but we thought we would take advantage of the Open Thread to get some desi opinions.
Basically, The Sister has a five year old kid from a previous marriage. The relationship was abusive, and ended with a divorce, but also with the child being adopted by the husband’s parents in Nigeria.
The Sister now has a Pakistani Muslim boyfriend. He’s only been in the UK a couple of years and regularly visits his folks back in Pakistan. They’re planning to get married, and he has taken care to get permission from his parents before agreeing to the engagement, so I guess he has fairly traditional views. However, he is of course going out with a Hindu, so perhaps not so much…
She hasn’t told him about the kid (or the marriage). Her reasoning is that the new boyfriend would instantly dump her if he knew the truth. Her idea is to ignore the child and basically erase that part of life, and live happily ever after… Her parents are endorsing this strategy, on the basis that they want her to be happy.
Now, my Indian friend thinks this is wrong, and that her sister should not disavow her six-year-old child, even if the kid is far away in Africa.
So, as you see, there are plenty of moral dilemmas here. a) Should The Sister start her marrige with a Lie Of Ommission? Is she not disrespecting his (possibly) strong views on the matter? b) What will happen when the child grows up, and then turns up on her doorstep? c) Is the parents’ attitude justified? d) How is divorce and children from previous relationships viewed in Pakistan and India? Is there going to be a messy clash of cultures over this, or is there any way to be honest while also salvaging the new relationship?
Most of the opinions from those who do not have any Asian heritage, think that both the parents and The Sister have been too quick to disavow the child. However my friend also feels that these opinions don’t really take into account the complexities of Indian and Pakistani culture. Are there times when these actions would be justified?
Ok, being slightly tipsy, I shall still add my views.
My feeling is she should tell the truth and see what happens. The child cannot be ignored forever – if it’s a big enough secret it’ll come back to haunt you in the end. I don’t see much different between Indian and Pakistani culture if they’re both punjabi, but he might be strict if he’s muslim… so it might be best to lay it down on the line early on….
>>>Most of the opinions from those who do not have any Asian heritage, think that both the parents and The Sister have been too quick to disavow the child. However my friend also feels that these opinions don’t really take into account the complexities of Indian and Pakistani culture. Are there times when these actions would be justified
Oi, nearly all of my post got swallowed up. what’s happening?
I cannot be bothered to rewrite anything now, going to go out on the water, sailing. Haven’t been doing that in a long time.
There may be some facts which are essential but unknown to us.
Disavowing a child would be a big mistake. Even if the husband-to-be never gets to know, it will always come between them.
As for the religion of the husband-to-be, that should not be an issue. He is required to accept the child with honesty and integrity as his own. Which of course it will be.
I am more intrigued as to why the grandparents want to forget about their grandchild.
Re the weekend: clean the house, change the bedsheets, mow the lawn, phone my Mum. And later in the evening catch up with work emails – and work out where I gotta be tomorrow morning.
Re: the marriage question. Tell the truth definitely. Big secrets like that will get found out somehow, somewhere down the line,the stresses and lies of trying to keep it secret will uncover it in the end.
Robert, does your friend basically intend just to dump her child? A person who won’t accept their new partner’s existing child(ren) is going to be extremely judgemental and not someone who would be easy to live with.
I see there was a protest yesterday against Guantanamo:
http://moonbatmedia.com/shut_gitmo_150706/
Agree with Jag and Chairwoman.
Nindy – Maine Pyar Kiya was ace! That whole ‘kabootar ja ja ja’ song always cracked me up for its innocence. And Salman Khan’s fluffy hairstyle. What a hoot.
Sunny, it was a C of E wedding and no one asked if I was going to be getting married soon at all, which was strangely unnerving.
Mat, I only agreed to post on here after it became clear that Sunny would continue to cry like a girl until I said yes. Few people have seen the vulnerable side of Sunny but it is there and it needs to be nurtured.
Hello Jag! I agree with you and Chairwoman (and therefore Sunny) on the marriage thing.
I am now going to go and put more aloe vera on my arms. Why do I need to learn the same lesson about applying sunblock when it is sunny every single summer? Why? Why?
OP auntie is up at JW complaining about us sexist Asians!
Anyways RSS meet was ‘interesting’. Couldnt remember half of it. Boy KoBra girls are soo easy
Refresh: is it coz he is black? Hmmm.. I wonder
One other objection — and i hope that this is not because I am non-Asian and I don’t appreciate the finer points of Indian/Pakistani culture — BUT if she really really loves and respects him, shouldn’t she tell her fiancee anyway? Maybe I’m just a romantic fool…
So Poondi is c*nt in Tamil Mirax. Excellent. Another dodgy word for my growing collection.
However, a question — the word c*nt is used differently in the UK and US. We all know what it means literally, but in England it’s mainly used against men, not to undermine their manhood but as a harsher form of b*stard-backstabbing-prick-knobhead-nasty-piece-of-work all rolled into one.
In the States though it seems to be used against women — a harsher form of bitch.
Which way is it used in Singapore and in Tamil?
If it’s the latter, then clearly there’s a direct link with its usage in Lahore as “bird”. Tut-tut Raz.
But it’s got me thinking, I wonder… is it somehow linked to the Jamaican poo-nah-nee? After all, dat means pussy too.
Don’t you just love the way language morphs around the world?
But does that tie in with poontang? From at least early 20C New Orleans slang. Some suggest from ‘putain’, but there is also ‘pudenda’ from the latin for ’shame’.
Hey Katy (and the rest of you)!
I thought I’d do you proud this weekend by a) cooking and b) going to a wedding.
Made a pretty decent sponge cake with a little help from Delia; I ended up replacing the raspberries with strawberries & ditching the marscapone & f.frais for whipped cream. Almost as good as old ladies in English tea shops make!
http://www.deliaonline.com/recipes/all-in-one-sponge-cake-with-raspberry-and-mascarpone-cream,1033,RC.html
Have you been cooking recently?
(To everyone, not just Katy!)
>>OP auntie is up at JW complaining about us sexist Asians!
That’s one of her pet themes, along with you-know-what.I don’t know how old she actually is but she always sounded ‘old’ in all its negative sense, to me.
Katy, I am a wee bit sunburned too, brown as I am and yes, I wear sunblock; need not imagine what you -redhead right? – look like. Once had a fairish Brit friend here who was in the pool at 11 am for half an hour tops, wearing a Tshirt. He had the most horrible burns for the next one week, open boils oozing yucky stuff. Then he had the long haul flight back home when anything against the skin was agony. Luckily my bro-in-law had a short-sleeved silk shirt to loan him.
He was a also bit of a freakshow for the rest of my family- all turned up to gawk in wonder. At the very worst, we just get tight red skin which peels after a day or two.
Robert’s friend’s moral dilemma is not really a dilemma, forget that nonsense about asian cultural ‘complexities’ puhleeze. She should tell the truth. A child is not some dirty little secret to bury until an opportune time (though it strikes me that they are hoping to NEVER reveal the truth) If she did have an abusive first marriage, all the more reason to test the integrity of this new fiance. It does strike me that she is underestimating his character and second-guessing his reaction. In fact I do not think very much of this woman based on her cold-blooded reaction to her own child. She is also making a decision for her kid isn’t she? That he needs never know her? Has she a right to do that even if she has given him away to his grandparents?
SO,
a) Should The Sister start her marrige with a Lie Of Ommission? No.
Is she not disrespecting his (possibly) strong views on the matter? She is.She is also undermining the relationship.
b) What will happen when the child grows up, and then turns up on her doorstep?
You need not wait for the kid to grow up for it all to blow up in her face. And it WILL blow up into some ugly mess if she lies now.
c) Is the parents’ attitude justified?
Depends. Even if they are taking the cue from her and their primary wish is to see her resettled happily, it is still a dodgy decision to junk the grandchild and erase his memory. If they are the ones pushing her to repudiate her child, it is clearly not justifiable cause they may be manipulating her insecurities.
d) How is divorce and children from previous relationships viewed in Pakistan and India? It is actually viewed with much more compassion in MUSLIM culture than strictly hindu ones but generally there’s prejudice against women with a ‘past’*. But this attutude is changing and changing fast, due to higher incidence of divorce. if you take a look at Indian papers’ matrimonial adverts, you do see divorced women, with kids or not, also advertising for husbands. This would have been unthinkable, say, 20 years ago.
>>Is there going to be a messy clash of cultures over this, or is there any way to be honest while also salvaging the new relationship?
What clash of culture? Hindu against Muslim? She’s actually at an advantage with muslim culture/law, all other things being equal. Her own family does not sound all that enlightened to me.
* Hypocrisy begets hypocrisy and everyone loses out. My last roommate – Tamil brahmin from India working (as an airline stewardess) and living here for the last few years lives a complete double life. She smokes, takes drugs(occasionally only), drinks, eats meat, sleeps around etc and has been doing so since she was a teen. Her parents do not even know how she normally dresses because her wardrobe when she visits home is special ‘decent’ one. I am not judgemental about any of that but guess what, my room-mate is very clear about one thing- she wants an arranged marriage (with a well-to-bloke) within her caste. So she is being marketted as a ‘homebound’ virgin. This last bit is quite incredible to me : either she lives a lie for the rest of her married life or the secrets will pop out one by one. Aren’t both options fraught with difficulty and likely to cause tension? But hey, her choice and her (truly well-deserved) problem.
>>Refresh: is it coz he is black? Hmmm..
The thought struck me and if so, it makes this situation that bit more despicable. But the kid is the product of an abusive relationship – so he may even be a product of rape, which makes her ambivalence about him more understandable (but it is not an innocent kid’s fault nevertheless)
eh fellas, it is poonda/poondai.
If you say, poonda-mahgal, you mean daughter of a c***.
Poonda-mahgan, son of a C****. It is the mofo equivalent.
Tamil swearwords are totally useless, because a non-native can almost never get the accent right so you are likely to bemuse or amuse rather than insult a Tamil person with this. That’s why I only swear in english – everyone understands the insult;-)
Don, not forgetting puta, the Italian and Spanish for slapper. Just ask Zidane.
Which way is it used in Singapore and in Tamil?
The word itself – generally by men against men and it tends to be more casual in this instance. It is used against women too, but is a deadly insult then, so less frequent.
The variations I mentioned are very serious, since it is one’s sainted mother being insulted.
>>But it’s got me thinking, I wonder… is it somehow linked to the Jamaican poo-nah-nee? After all, dat means pussy too.
Don’t you just love the way language morphs around the world?
I must look this up. If it is a Tamil word, rather than a loan word from sanskrit (doesn’t sound likely in this case), then it is likely to be original. The Tamil language is one of the world’s oldest living languages, in fact one of the two ‘classical’ languages of India, as recognised by the Indian government (the other being sanskrit of course, dead as a nail)
SajiniW, I made a wicked Ceviche today.
Loverly — perfect for a summer’s lunch.
Basically it’s Latin American marinated raw fish, with chillis, lime juice, tabasco, and loads of coriander.
It’s lip-smacking delicious.
I used cod fillet, scallops and prawns… but you can use any white fish and seafood combo, as long as the ingredients are very (VERY) fresh and left in the marinade long enough to turn white.
http://www.angelfire.com/tx/CZAngelsSpace/CevicheRecipes.html
Which reminds me, I should thank Jay for that pork, spinach, chili, ginger, garlic stir-fry he suggested, but he seems to have disappeared
Ceviche sounds lovely – I’m a fan of gravadlax + Nigella’s oriental take on it too
I’d really like to go to Central/South America one day – so much history, food & drink to get cracking with
Oh I dunno, given that it means “totty” in Lahore, I wouldn’t discount Sanskrit link. Gut instinct tells me it’s got a broader etymology. And of course Latin – Sanskrit linkage is well known, which might suggest puta and poonda might be distant cousins. But I’m speculating of course.
Yeah, c*nt is sometimes used in casual way in the UK, to mean “plonker”, but you really need to be on friendly terms with the person.
In fact, the way it’s usually used in the UK reminds me of “cabron” in Spanish, which literally means cuckold. It’s as aggresive as c*nt but is also used with impunity between friends, especially in Mexico.
P.S. I just had a peek at jihadwatch and noticed an El Cid commenting. It ain’t me, just in case you were wondering.
Oh, hokkien is a chinese dialect rich in swear words. The hokkien for C*** is chee bai, the universal swear word in S’pore, by men against men mostly but never casually.
Then there is whah lahn/whah lahn eh meaning “oh penis!” which is so innocuous that kids, teachers use it, you can even hear it on TV. People use it in the sense of “oh damn!” or to express awe, it’s our Singlish “wow!”, no kidding.
I just realised that the Malays seem not to swear at all- at least not in my hearing.
I went to insultmonger.com to look up Tamil swear words – not that many but learnt the dirty meanings of some quite common expressions.
There was this classic phrase: thevadiya (prostitute) poodaiyin (her c***’s) vervaiyele (sweat)molaicha (grown/ sprung from) kahlahn(fungi/mushroom), meaning
“You fungi sprouted from the sweat of a prostitute’s c***!” Great huh? Neat play on VD.
chee bai, yes i know that one. think it goes with t’chai chee bai (you smelly c*nt)
Cheers for the comments on the matrimony thing, folks. To reiterate, both my friend and I were thinking that TELLING HIM was the only sensible option.
c) Is the parents’ attitude justified?
Depends. Even if they are taking the cue from her and their primary wish is to see her resettled happily, it is still a dodgy decision to junk the grandchild and erase his memory.
Mirax – I think you’ve hit the nail on the head here. The angst last night was as much about the fact that the parents seem to be going along with her choices “because they want her to be happy” and married, as much as it was about what The Sister does (I think we’re all agreed she should be honest with her fiance).
So, my friend is going to do her best to harp on vocally about the need to be honest about the child, and hope that at least the folks see sense. A the sister of someone who is getting engaged, she wants to avoid being accused of jealousy and interference, but she hopes her parents won’t be able to avoid the unpalatable truths if she drones on about it like a stuck record! The difficulty is in bringing this sistuation to a head, without alienating everyone in the process. If it does, I’ll be sure to let you know all the operatic details. This is playground stuff compared to Samaira Nazir.
@johnny
Thank you for sharing that link, I didn’t even know that there was a protest going on yesterday.
I’m so glad that people are still protesting vocally about this ‘anomaly’.
Katy – I can relate
I never usually burn but yesterday is the second time it has happened this year. First was in Thailand in February and yesterday went for a picnic while (wait for it) walking through the forests! Go figure. Cucumber water helps.
Re Samaira Nazir, I couldn’t stop thinking about it all weekend (I read the piece on Friday). The worst part is that her nieces (aged 2 and 4) were allegedly forced to watch and found covered in blood screaming.
Something has got to be done….
Rakhee – Surely the worst thing about is that she’s dead. For second place the babies watching, and her last words having to be ‘You’re not my mother any more’, are a close tie.
Chairwoman, I wasn’t meaning to rank the events in any way. It’s all awful.
The point about the children is that they will have
to live with this forever and the memory I’m sure will never go away.
They’re basically being told from a young age (by their own flesh and blood) that this is what will happen if you even think about doing something similar. Plus the trauma of seeing their aunt killed in such a horrific way. No amount of counselling will overcome it I don’t think.
Scarred for life.
Bombay bombs – the British connection?
SOME of the main fundraisers for the terror group suspected of masterminding the Bombay train bombings are operating from Britain, according to Indian intelligence officials.
The officials accuse Britain of failing to act against a number of wealthy businessmen, who they claim are using bogus charities to funnel up to £8 million a year to Kashmiri militants groups, such as Lashkar-e-Taiba, which remains the main suspect for orchestrating the synchronised bombings that killed 182 people.
One of those identified in the dossier is reported to be a Pakistan-born multimillionaire businessman who owns at least two luxury homes in London.
Professor Paul Wilkinson, of the Centre for the Study of Terrorism and Political Violence at the University of St Andrews, said: “It is very sad the figure for the money still flowing to the likes of Lashkar has not been substantially reduced by now. It is difficult to track the money trail, but we should put more resources to doing so.”
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,25689-2273287,00.html
i agree with Mirax’s take on things up above..
P.S. I just had a peek at jihadwatch and noticed an El Cid commenting. It ain’t me, just in case you were wondering.
Don worry i know like half the people there. This El Cid guy is a New Yorker with pucca Bible belt ideology.
Rakhee – You’re absolutely right. Their trauma is unbelievable. Hopefully they and their mother are no longer in contact with either the male members of the family or their compliant grandmother.
hmm we’ve been hearing about tv on demand for a good long time now!
Just a contrarian take on the moral dilemma….
I know a family where a child from a previous relationship was kept secret by their mother. Years later when the child sought out the mother, the couple’s relationship was mature and deep enough for it to the child to be welcomed. However, the child was also mature in how they approached their mother.
I also know a few adopted people, and I think they would be upset to think that their birth mother was unable to get into a stable new relationship because potential partners had an issue with her having had and lost/given away their child previously.
I would not agree with the dishonesty involved in hiding a previous child, and would not do so myself. But, to be honest, I could accept it being hidden from me and later finding out. It may be cowardice not to tell a potential partner certain things, but it may also be a greater wisdom which in this case I am just personally incapable of.