As Don says, Ravi wasn’t saying that people shouldn’t marry those of other religion, just that such a consideration will be a facotr for some.

MixTogether supports those whose personal choices are being attacked due to race, faith or caste (and we do see all 3).

It’s that simple.

* In 2008 there were fewer than a dozen priests ordained in Ireland while well over a hundred retired or died in harness. the expression is ‘decline in vocations.’

I’ll light a candle to that.

Ravi’s point seems to me to be recognising that in choosing a partner people will take a lot of factors into account. Love is wonderful, but raising a family is a practical matter.

Thanks for clarifying my position, Don.

physical – can see that

cultural – depends what this is (if pertaining to the liberal use of mustard oil on the hair then would steer well clear)

education – not been attracted based on this. Bit odd to be attracted to someone if they had a phd

personality – can see that

faith – depends – if they are happy clappy or rabid about it then a turn off

race – can understand this if race is based on your physical type

I think people have accepted that racism plays a part, I don’t see any denial of this. Ravi’s point seems to me to be recognising that in choosing a partner people will take a lot of factors into account. Love is wonderful, but raising a family is a practical matter.

I fully support those who take on the challenge and make their own way as a couple. But that doesn’t mean I get to condemn those who are more cautious about how harsh life can be for some who challenge the status quo. Eventually, I hope, we will reach a point where that is not an issue, but right now and for many it is.

When Ravi says, A lot of people take faith (or lack of faith) seriously. And yes, some people choose their partners based on their race. I see him as recognising a (regrettable) fact rather than advocating a position.

solid anecdotal evidence

That’s a new one for me. It’s anecdotal or it’s solid evidence. It ain’t both.

Compromise on sharing perhaps, but I don’t see why going with a non -Muslim would mean compromising their faith. Is it not halal to kiss a Christian or something?

What are they afraid of?

Seems like we all agree that it is wrong for families to interfere, whatever their bigoted reasons for doing so, right?

MixTogether seems to have solid anecdotal evidence to this effect, but you are choosing to ignore it. I can accept that religion plays a part, can you also accept that racism plays a part?

Morrigan, I explicitly mentioned in #75 that racism can play a part. I am not convinced that is the predominant reason as MixedTogether was saying, nor will I start condemning people for choosing their partners as they see fit. What I will condemn is when families and community pressure you to marry with someone you do not want.

MixTogether seems to have solid anecdotal evidence to this effect, but you are choosing to ignore it. I can accept that religion plays a part, can you also accept that racism plays a part?

Why are people like Ravi Naik advancing religious discrimination as if it is somehow better than racial discrimination?

Stop whining. In case you didn’t think this through, choosing a partner is a highly discriminatory process: there is the physical side, cultural, educational, personality, and a set of other traits that you feel are compatible and attractive, and others that do not. A lot of people take faith (or lack of faith) seriously. And yes, some people choose their partners based on their race.
On all accounts, people should have the right to choose their partners as they see fit. What is wrong is when parents force their children to marry people they do not want.

My point is that there are reasons other than racism that can explain why Asians don’t inter-mix as much.

Agreed. What the fuck, we agree?

I don’t always think it’s about doing what your parents want you to do..it’s about respecting their opinion and then making your own mind up..

Clearly this is just me assuming that my ideas are universal….

4/6??

If someone chooses their own partner (as every sane person should) that should be end of story.

The particular flavour of the parents’ bigotry is not the issue.

Anyway, how easy it is for racial bigots to hide their prejudices behind religion…

She married a Bangladeshi Muslim that didn’t come from the same district 40% guarantee
She married a white man 3% guarantee

Your mother would rather have your daughter marry a white – most likely not Muslim – than someone from your own background but not the same district? Interesting…

So if they are unorthodox, unconservative/progressive why do they do something they do not agree with?

Emotional blackmail, obligations, emotional ties etc.

The rationale as to living under the same roof for economy in a lot of cases breeds dependency upon one’s ageing parents. Why get married to continue such a dependency

Correct.

And if you get married surely a persons priority and focus should change and your partners wishes become paramount, otherwise why get married?

Correct.