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    Weekend open barbeque thread

    by Sunny on 10th June, 2006 at 1:31 pm    

    …because there is only one activity worth doing this weekend apart from watching football. Bring on the vegetarian burgers in pitta bread…. *drool*

    And if you’ve been missing Rohin (because I certainly haven’t *cough*), he should be back soon as his exams finished this weekend and he should be currently getting absolutely plastered.

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    64 Comments below   |  

    1. j0nz — on 10th June, 2006 at 1:41 pm  

      Ok posted this on another thread needs to go here I suppose

      “Asians” need special training in the police force


      Thoughts anyone?


      Islamic values vs British values

      Islamic values as “charity and morality”. Bit like those generous and moral signs that this very group displayed a little while ago saying “massacre those who insult Islam”

    2. Don — on 10th June, 2006 at 2:14 pm  

      The first thought is that the weekend open thread is not really the place to raise this. The second is the poster omitted the old British value of mopery.

      Out to a bbq this evening, as it happens. Meat free, dammit, but some tasty trout and salmon that were swimming in Scotland only yesterday. And lots of Pimms.

    3. StrangelyPsychedelique/Kesara — on 10th June, 2006 at 2:26 pm  

      Theres supposed to be a protest outside Scotland Yard tomorrow….

      I trust you will all be there with your laptops ready to blog away when then the fireworks go off?


    4. Katy Newton — on 10th June, 2006 at 4:05 pm  

      I love barbecues!

      Would it be so wrong to top a vegetarian burger with three slices of griddled bacon…?

    5. El Cid — on 10th June, 2006 at 4:16 pm  

      I’m on for a double BBQ — today en famille and tomorrow with family and friends.
      Unexpectedly, a friend who works for GMTV (don’t laugh) wants to do an educational piece on the nutritional content of your typical BBQ fare. She wants to bring loads of sausages and burgers to my house and garden and then have a nutritionist say what the healthier alternatives were. I am bit reluctant and got her to promise that they would be proper burgers and bangers rather than the woodchip and bovine gooly-rich offerings from Netto. I’m a bit of a foody and fear she wants to set me up as a chav example (says the man who bought temporary England tatoos for his very young kids to wear at school).
      Still, free food is free food.

    6. El Cid — on 10th June, 2006 at 4:16 pm  

      Sunny, btw, surely we can talk about footy for the next three weeks. I mean it is the World Cup man!!

    7. Vikrant — on 10th June, 2006 at 4:57 pm  

      Aww the match sucked… neeways i’m off to terminal 3 in a moment.

    8. jamal — on 10th June, 2006 at 5:36 pm  

      lol @ Jonz

      Just chill and enjoy the barb and football..

      Great own goal by Paraguay!!

    9. raz — on 10th June, 2006 at 7:06 pm  

      Lahore girls having a fight LOL


    10. Zak — on 10th June, 2006 at 8:07 pm  

      Me first..my blog post on social mobily in England versus US http://zaksez.blogspot.com/2006/06/capitalism-welfare-state.html

    11. bd — on 10th June, 2006 at 8:14 pm  

      Interview in telegraph with Dr Muhammad Abdul Bari

    12. inders — on 10th June, 2006 at 8:17 pm  

      Yasmin Alibhai-Brown

      Whats the deal ?

      Left wing relic from the bad days of the 70s and 80s ? Or the voice of minority Britain ?

    13. MatGB — on 10th June, 2006 at 8:27 pm  

      Katy; yes, yes it would. Unless it was vegetarian bacon, in which case, well, it’s probably GM soya, so you can’t win. The Quorn bacon is horrible :-(

      Inders; I used to read and agree, these days I read and despair, I think relic is the right word.

    14. Katy Newton — on 10th June, 2006 at 8:29 pm  

      Mat, don’t tell me you’re anti meat as well as clotted cream?

    15. Amir — on 10th June, 2006 at 9:21 pm  


      but in autumn the male spiders are sex crazed and will take ridiculous risks for a bit of rumpy pumpy, even though some lady spiders apparently decapitate and eat their boyfriends after sex, which is not what I would do if I wanted a bloke to ring me later.

      Phew… that’s a question I usually ask em’ until after the second date! Keeping your skull intact is a sound basis for a solid relationship. Katy, you’re very reassuring! :-)

      I wasn’t aware that the boxing gloves will sperm pouches? Fascinating.

    16. Amir — on 10th June, 2006 at 9:45 pm  

      Furthermore, I would like to congratulate you on the blog. It’s very honest and refreshingly unpretentious – sweet, funny, and meticulous in its attention to detail. A Jewish version of Bridget Jones’ Diary! 8)

      Do you like ‘Pride and Prejudice’ by any chance? As far as I’m concerned, it’s the ultimate romance novel. And the BBC adaptation (with Colin Firth and Jennifer Ehle) was just so, so awesome. It gave me goosebumps all over. Do you remember? When Mr. Darcy emerged from the pond in his drenched clothes only to find Eliza Bennett on his turf… [sigh]

    17. sleepy — on 10th June, 2006 at 11:40 pm  

      “Do you remember? When Mr. Darcy emerged from the pond in his drenched clothes only to find Eliza Bennett on his turf… [sigh]”

      I remember. [Double sigh]. And then he has the audacity to go play a … Parent! That is why I can’t like Nanny McPhee.

    18. Sunny — on 10th June, 2006 at 11:41 pm  

      Oh boy. I’ve just got back from the longest bbq ever and feel like a big-ass whale. The England PAraguay match was so boring! Go on Trinidad and Tobago!

      El Cid, sure we can talk about footy.

      Katy - yes that would be wrong!

      Inders - I like her.

    19. Sunny — on 10th June, 2006 at 11:57 pm  

      I just read that interview with Mohammed Bari. I have to say I quite liked it, and he seems like a nice chap, and said some good things there. Though I have to say when I debated him I was appalled at his bad English. That’ll make it difficult to connect to the youngsters.

      He certainly seems to have more common sense than Iqbal Sacranie IMO. Let’s see.

    20. j0nz — on 11th June, 2006 at 12:13 am  

      He certainly seems to have more common sense than Iqbal Sacranie IMO. Let’s see.

      Well it’s not hard is it. He suggests we should all try arranged marriages

    21. Sunny — on 11th June, 2006 at 12:55 am  

      I personally don’t like arranged marriages but plenty of people, incl whites, swear by them. It’s not the same as forced marriages, just to clarify.

    22. bd — on 11th June, 2006 at 10:29 am  

      Problem with mcb being dominated by one ethnic group, is that such hindrance as not being elequont is not regarded as being detrimental to Leardership. Though Bari is not as bad as some guy who came on Sky as General Secretary of Newham Bangladeshi Society - what ever that is.

      Iain Duncan Smith, continues to make more sense than he did as leader - “Briefing wars won’t stop the bombers”.

    23. El Cid — on 11th June, 2006 at 11:20 am  

      Yeah, t’was a crap game.
      Sven is our weakest link. How can you use the beanpole as a sole striker to lead the line when rather than playing the ball to his feet or chest so that he can bring the midfield runners into play, you play it to his head so he can flick it on to a non-existent partner? What’s game plan man?(Is anyone following this?)
      Still fancy an England Argentina though. Hope we improve, otherwise I’ll be left with just Raul’s perennial underachievers again.

    24. El Cid — on 11th June, 2006 at 11:22 am  

      “Terror pair may sue Met.” You don’t say!

    25. Sajn — on 11th June, 2006 at 11:29 am  

      “Oh boy. I’ve just got back from the longest bbq ever and feel like a big-ass whale. The England PAraguay match was so boring! Go on Trinidad and Tobago!”

      I think you mean “COME ON Trindad & Tobago”

    26. Katy Newton — on 11th June, 2006 at 11:38 am  

      *preens at Amir’s shameless flattery*

      You are too kind. And of course I love Mr Darcy. The problem is that P&P has spoiled Colin Firth for me in all of his other roles apart from Love Actually. Never again will he get back to that pinnacle of clinging-wet-shirtness.

      On a different point, to go a bit Socratic, whilst all forced marriages are almost certainly arranged marriages, not all arranged marriages are forced. They have a very high success rate, actually, although whether that’s because of community pressure to stay together I don’t know.

      I probably would trust my mother to find me a decent bloke, but then my mother knows and respects my taste in men…

    27. El Cid — on 11th June, 2006 at 12:20 pm  

      Oooh, I dunno Sajn.
      In the local vernacular, “go on” and “come on” are often both used.
      Take for example: “Go on my son!”

    28. sonia — on 11th June, 2006 at 12:46 pm  

      my thoughts re: the islamic values vs. british values..

      ahem! how ridiculous of course. frankly you can find all of those values across the spectrum of all societies..

      so silly setting themselves up in that way

    29. El Cid — on 11th June, 2006 at 12:47 pm  

      It would appear that over a three-year average: African, Caribbean, Indian, Irish and Kurdish boys and Turkish boys and girls perform below the school’s average; whereas, Chinese, English, Scottish, Welsh,
      Pakistani and Vietnamese students perform above.

      This is from a recent Ofsted report on a local secondary school I am hoping to send my son to in a couple of years time. It just caught my eye in light of previous threads on PP. I have no motive for doing so aside from highlighting how the received wisdom isn’t ALWAYS supported by the local dynamics. Sure, a lot of it sounds familiar, but not all.

    30. Vikrant — on 11th June, 2006 at 1:12 pm  

      dum dih dum dih dum…. i’m finally in amchi Mumbai… dunno why they bother having weather rports here… its so freakin hot here everyday.

    31. Vikrant — on 11th June, 2006 at 1:13 pm  


      Good to see you back in form. Thanks for the video. Bitch fights are always interesting!

    32. NorahJones — on 11th June, 2006 at 2:47 pm  

      Rohin! Save some of the plastering for me!

    33. raz — on 11th June, 2006 at 3:06 pm  


      How’s the exams going mate? It’s really a bummer when you have to study during the world cup.

    34. Bikhair — on 11th June, 2006 at 4:20 pm  


      Arranged marriages, not to be confused with forced marraiges are so horrible arent they. Because dating has been such a wonderful institution, the sole garuntee of a successful marriage- sike. I think the idea of arranged marriage is cool. You have parents and families taking an active role in a their childrens’ lives. They often do take a very active role in any other sphere, why not this one?

      Who but your parents, assuming they are still wed, would know who is the most compatible for you? I didnt have an arranged marriage but I would have been flattered and accepting of the idea of my parents finding someone for me. They would probably see in the man qaulities that my youth and superficiallity would either miss, not consider at all, or completely take for granted.

      But ofcourse your negative reaction to anything Islamic is really the issue here.

    35. Bikhair aka Taqiyyah — on 11th June, 2006 at 4:26 pm  


      BTW all the social critiques Dr. Bari makes are identical to those things conservative Christians in the States say about Post Christian Europe. Maybe if you heard it from them you would be able to swallow it. Dont choke.

    36. mirax — on 11th June, 2006 at 4:54 pm  

      #34 everything that Bikki wrote on arranged marriages is crap, crap and some more crap.

      Ironic aint it Bikki - if YOUR parents had had the chance to arrange YOUR marriage, conversion and marriage to a man out of your racial/religious/socio-economic group would not have been in the cards? We’d have had less crap out of you too.

    37. Jai — on 11th June, 2006 at 5:10 pm  

      =>”Who but your parents, assuming they are still wed, would know who is the most compatible for you?”

      Theoretically, yes. In reality, this is frequently not the case, especially the “embarrassment” factor sometimes involved between the generations with regards to actually talking about what the son/daughter likes in a prospective romantic partner (parents may refuse to listen and may avoid discussing the issue altogether). Considering the communication gap often present in these matters, I doubt that many parents really know what kind of person their son/daughter is really attracted to emotionally and sexually, and who they would therefore be compatible with.

      Of course, there’s a political element involved here too, where parents may impose their own wishes on what they want in a prospective son/daughter-in-law, and — if they have actually picked up what their (adult) child “likes” in a partner — the wishes of the son/daughter will be ignored or overriden.

      It happens all the time.

      So there is often a considerable gap between the theory that “parents know what/who is best for their children in these matters” and the actual reality of the situation.

    38. Jai — on 11th June, 2006 at 5:13 pm  


      =>”They have a very high success rate, actually, although whether that’s because of community pressure to stay together I don’t know.”

      It is indeed very often due to “community pressure” (at least from the older generation) — ie. the social stigma of a failed marriage. In that sense, it’s not too different from how things were for everyone here in the West until a few decades ago.

      The divorce rate is rising amongst Indians in the West and also back in India itself, as social attitudes change and members of both genders (especially women) are less prepared to put up with a dysfunctional marriage.

    39. Jai — on 11th June, 2006 at 5:17 pm  

      PS. My post # 37 refers specifically to Asians. I know that people from some other communities can be a little more open with their parents in these matters (in fact some Asians can be too, although this is far less common).

    40. Katy Newton — on 11th June, 2006 at 5:26 pm  

      Jai, of course that’s right. These days, at least in the West, an arranged marriage would only really work if parents were prepared to listen to what their children wanted and understand that “no” to a potential partner means “no”.

      One friend of mine would have loved to have an arranged marriage, but when she told her parents that she was amenable to it they introduced her to one bloke who she didn’t particularly get on with. She was more than happy to be introduced to more boys, she just wasn’t keen on that one. When she told them that, they told her that was it and she’d better just marry him and be grateful. When she absolutely refused, they tried to force her hand by telling their entire family and community that she was marrying him, and when she stuck to her guns her mother didn’t speak to her for three months because of the shame.

      She is now married to a nice boy of whom her parents thoroughly approve - but she had to find him herself! It was ridiculous, because she was perfectly happy with the system of arranged marriages, she just wanted some input into who she ended up with.

    41. Katy Newton — on 11th June, 2006 at 5:27 pm  

      Well, I say he’s a nice boy. Actually, I think he’s a bit of a knob. But she likes him.

    42. David T — on 11th June, 2006 at 5:32 pm  

      I’m about to eat a Quorn burger. Pray for me

    43. Katy Newton — on 11th June, 2006 at 5:38 pm  

      Why, David? Why would you do that? Why? Why?

    44. Jai — on 11th June, 2006 at 5:43 pm  


      It’s a good thing your friend’s parents were willing to accept their daughter’s choice — many Asian parents will reject the potential son/daughter-in-law outright even if there’s nothing wrong with him/her, purely as a point of principle, if they really are very stubborn about adhering to the arranged marriage system.

      The American “Sepia Mutiny” blog (you may have heard me mention it here occasionally, it’s basically the US version of PP) very recently had an extensive debate about the whole arranged marriage issue (along with the intergenerational problems sometims involved). It’s quite a long thread (and goes off the rails at the end, which is why it was shut down by the SM moderators), but if you have some spare time I think you may well find it very interesting reading. It appears that Asians living in the States often encounter the same problems in this matter as Asians on this side of the Atlantic.

      Link: http://www.sepiamutiny.com/sepia/archives/003434.html

      As I mentioned, it triggered an avalanche of comments from people who obviously had a lot to get off their chests, but I think you’ll find it thought-provoking stuff. There’s also an occasional comment in there by yours truly ;)

      =>”Actually, I think he’s a bit of a knob. But she likes him.

      As with most things in these issues, I think that’s the most important thing :) {Well, as long as he’s not mistreating her in any way, obviously}.

    45. Jai — on 11th June, 2006 at 6:07 pm  

      On a totally different note…..

      One for the Star Wars buffs amongst you. One of the guys on SM posted this link recently — Darth Vader has his own blog. That’s right folks, you heard it here first. Or maybe not, if you’re the type who sits in a darkened room all day, breathing heavily over a keyboard while fiddling with your lightsaber.

      Here’s the link: http://darthside.blogspot.com/

      It’s surprisingly well-written — far better than I expected. Very eloquent, occasionally very funny, often poignant and poetic stuff.

      The number of comments each entry triggered is sometimes unbelievable.

    46. Vikrant — on 11th June, 2006 at 6:32 pm  


      finished with me exams on last wednesday itself mate

    47. Sid — on 11th June, 2006 at 6:50 pm  

      Been listening to the new Scritti Politti album (White Bread Black Beer) all weekend. Its like being 15 again an d listening to Songs to Remember for the first time.

      Quorn is gay.

    48. Katy Newton — on 11th June, 2006 at 6:54 pm  

      They say “gay” means “rubbish” now.

      Do you know, I remember a lovely, more innocent age in my youth when “gay” simply meant “homosexual”. Ah, how times change.

    49. Katy Newton — on 11th June, 2006 at 7:08 pm  

      PS Jai, I am still working my way through that comments page, which is the biggest comments page I have ever seen apart from that one on that blog about that guy who sold that laptop that had those dodgy underground leg pictures on it.

    50. Kismet Hardy — on 11th June, 2006 at 8:03 pm  

      Rohin is back?!]


      My short, sweet ride on this playground chasing the honeys with gay abandon is over thanks to your return you superior witted cunt.

      It’s like women want to be with you and men want to be you.

      I feel so threatened

    51. Don — on 11th June, 2006 at 8:27 pm  


      Is that real?

    52. Fatwadodger — on 11th June, 2006 at 8:47 pm  

      Oh dear, I know it’s Sunday night and really, really late. But I had to tell you all…

      I too went to a BBQ on Saturday. I didn’t eat anything though cos I felt sick.

    53. Bikhair aka Taqiyyah — on 11th June, 2006 at 9:55 pm  


      I hope not. It sure is funny though.

    54. Bikhair aka Taqiyyah — on 11th June, 2006 at 10:04 pm  

      You know all you guys keep talking about is the possibility of there not being any sexual, emotional, or personal compatibility. Considering however the rate of divorce people choosing their own mates, dating their mates for a specific amount of them, hasnt resulted in the absolute garuntee of the above instances. It may be the case for a few years which is the amount of time many marriages last these days.

      First I think parents, mothers and fathers need to go back and start teaching and showing their children how to be both men and women who know and values the importance of responsibility and obligation. Especially when children are involved, divorce shouldnt be the first and only option when the women generally decide that she can take care of them own her own. Youve seen how single parenthood has work so well in other communities.

    55. Bikhair aka Taqiyyah — on 11th June, 2006 at 10:04 pm  


      shut up.

    56. NorahJones — on 11th June, 2006 at 11:13 pm  

      Hey Bikkie, isn’t Taqiyyah a sorta shi’ite practise?

    57. Kismet Hardy — on 11th June, 2006 at 11:40 pm  

      O Bikhair aka Taqiyyah my love!

      At what point does staying chaste in await of the pork sword of true love turn into the twisted rage of an ageing virgin?

    58. Jai — on 12th June, 2006 at 9:53 am  


      Re: post #49

      No problem — like I said, a lot of people there obviously had a lot to say on the topic !

      (There have been longer threads on SM though, with 400 - 600 posts. And the last blog entry on the fake Darth Vader blog triggered a mind-boggling 900+ comments).

      The whole marriage thing is a major issue amongst Asians everywhere, as you can obviously see.

    59. sonia — on 12th June, 2006 at 11:48 am  

      parents never know their children!

      “Who but your parents, assuming they are still wed, would know who is the most compatible for you?”

      they’re like ..the last people on earth¬!

    60. Kismet Hardy — on 12th June, 2006 at 11:50 am  

      Yeah, my parents still think I wear longjohns and keep copies of Smash Hits on my desk when I go to visit

    61. sonia — on 12th June, 2006 at 11:53 am  

      Jai - #37

      eloquently put.

      also i’d say the main driving force behind arranged marriages is of families wanting to ally themselves with other ’suitable’ families and really the wishes of the children do not come into at it at all - but are a ‘vehicle’ rather.

      essentially no different to ‘dynastic’ alliances between royal houses, where one simply isn’t an individual, but a member of a ‘house’ who has a duty to fulfil.

      it’s pretty much still a dominant factor in asian family structures - that you’re not really an individual who’s allowed to do what they want for themselves, but have a responsibility to the family unit for ‘marrying well’.

    62. sonia — on 12th June, 2006 at 11:54 am  

      i.e. rights of the collective group valued over rights of the individual.

      not so unusual when you think about it like that!

    63. sonia — on 12th June, 2006 at 11:59 am  

      it’s pretty obvious why arranged marriages have such a high success rate. if you’re willing to be lumped with any old so and so your parents approve of you’re likely to be going into it with ‘your eyes open’ so to speak - you’re probably not seeking any great relationship for yourself - but trying to keep everyone happy and settling for what seems ’sensible’. given those ‘entry’ conditions you’re not likely to get divorced are you - you’ll most likely put up with whatever you’ve been told marriage involves. unless something terrible happens - in which case whether you get divorced or not will depend on how much you value yourself and your rights over ‘keeping everyone else happy’ again.

    64. MatGB — on 12th June, 2006 at 11:59 pm  

      @Sid; Rhodri is one of the current members of Scritti Politi; I read his blog despite this, as he’s rather amusing at time (and some of the filtered stuff is genius).

      @David T; atheists can’t pray, but I do recommend avoiding all substitute style burgers, never did get the point. Quorn fillets are pretty good, and the deli slices range is brilliant, mostly.

      @Katy; yup, veggie for 14 years now, sorry to disappoint…

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