The weekend open thread


by Sunny
20th May, 2006 at 2:44 pm    

A place where you cannot talk about religion, cannot talk about football, or Ayaan Hirsi Ali. However you can tell us what you are up to this weekend and offer theories on why the weather is so pants.


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  1. Jay Singh — on 20th May, 2006 at 2:49 pm  

    The weather is pants because this is England!

    The highlight of my week was watching the video of the guy who went for an interview at the BBC and was mistaken for an expert and had to give an interview live on air. Everytime I watch his expression, I just crack up!

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/4774429.stm

  2. Sunny — on 20th May, 2006 at 2:50 pm  

    He should run for PM, he is that famous by now…

  3. Jay Singh — on 20th May, 2006 at 2:52 pm  

    They should give him a job reading the news.

    To be honest I think I would have done alright in that situation. I would have bullshitted so much with real authority.

    El Cid hasnt been around since Wednesday – he must still be in mourning.

  4. raz — on 20th May, 2006 at 3:18 pm  
  5. Katy Newton — on 20th May, 2006 at 3:26 pm  

    I love the open weekend thread!

    In that situation I think I would probably have said, “I think there must be a mistake because I don’t work for Apple.” But that’s just me.

  6. El Cid — on 20th May, 2006 at 3:34 pm  

    :(

  7. raz — on 20th May, 2006 at 3:35 pm  

    LOL

  8. Sunny — on 20th May, 2006 at 4:03 pm  

    ElCid what’s wrong?

    Raz – omg where do you find such stuff? For Pakistan that is surely on the level of hardcore porn, if it wasn’t so comical. The guy is hilariously bad but you should see some of the South Indian videos. The actors in there are on a next level of hilarity.

    Katy – when did you star being so sensible eh? It’s not good for your health.

  9. Rakhee — on 20th May, 2006 at 4:30 pm  

    Jay, that story is legendary. I couldn’t stop laughing either.

    Raz, you’ve managed to ensure I have nightmares tonight (of the woman, not the man)

    Sunny, I knew you are a fountain of knowledge but South Indian porn? Yikes….

  10. Sunny — on 20th May, 2006 at 4:34 pm  

    I meant film music videos Rakhee dear, not South Indian porn. Saying that I don’t even watch South Indian music videos since I can’t understand Tamil/Kannadda/Malyalam. So…err.. don’t ask me how I know.

  11. Vikrant — on 20th May, 2006 at 4:37 pm  

    A Pickled Poem
    ==============

    Oh sheeyit this aint a Sunny day
    Still me heart is at its poetic gay
    Ahh.. so starts me song
    (Mindya this aint nother one bout Rohin, our resident Bong)

    Be a good boy Amir
    ‘n she might just tie you a Rakhee and give u kheer
    As for you stupid Spaniard El Cid
    Stop sulking over gunner’s loss like a kid

    To Bikki our Wahhabi chick
    All i say is get a life
    Like mirax that Singaporean housewife

    Meh wonders wheres Mustafa bhai…
    Kya yeh raz ki baat hai?
    Don and fella brother Singhs
    Sorry for giving you a miss
    You see,
    starting monday are my GCSE

    Holy crap i gotta run
    Sheeyit somebody please shoot me with a gun

    -THE END-

    p.s

    ,;”! – Use at foll. punctuation at appropriate places…

  12. raz — on 20th May, 2006 at 4:42 pm  

    “Like mirax that Singaporean housewife”

    LOL. She won’t like that.

    Anyway, a (slightly) more palatable video. A new Hokuto No Ken (Fist of the North Star) anime is coming out soon. Looks good – OMAE WA MOU SHINDERIU!!!

    http://youtube.com/watch?v=52MreGRFtvM&search=hokuto%20no%20ken%20trailer

  13. Vikrant — on 20th May, 2006 at 4:44 pm  

    raz enough of your videos… the first one was a major turn off… much like those shitty south Indian porn movies.

  14. Vikrant — on 20th May, 2006 at 4:46 pm  

    raz, is it hentai? my kid bro is around….

  15. raz — on 20th May, 2006 at 4:52 pm  

    Vikrant, you’re a bit of a kid yourself :) No hentai for you, don’t want Sunny to get this site closed down for offending public decency (although that Pakistani sex film might already have done the trick).

  16. Vikrant — on 20th May, 2006 at 4:56 pm  

    Seriously raz, 16yr olds have far more license than you might think…. there have been quite a few pregnancies in my class (tough i’d assure you i wasnt responsible for any of them!).

  17. Vikrant — on 20th May, 2006 at 4:57 pm  

    Anyways i always thought that hentai is for perverts.

  18. squared — on 20th May, 2006 at 5:14 pm  

    We’re all perverts.

    Hentai’s a safe manifestation of our sickest fantasies.

    Which EVERYONE has. Don’t lie to me.

  19. El Cid — on 20th May, 2006 at 5:50 pm  

    There was a teenager called Vik
    Whose poems were shite coz he’s fick
    He loved the swas-teeka
    and ate chicken tikka
    and tugged at his tiny Indian prick

    I’m back, bigger and better than ever!! (*Can’t touch this — da-duh-duh-dum, dum-dum — Can’t touch this*)But now I must go away again as this thread is likely to get out of hand as the Leicester Lip splutters his venal response from the safety of his bedroom.
    Seriously, though — those references to “stupid Spaniard” after we had “Spanish Bastards” the other day? I’d be lying if I said that these aren’t beginning to annoy me. Cut it out.
    As for Wednesday — well obviously I’m gutted. But we lost fair and square. TH14 should have put his chances away. What else can I say? But I have a solution. If you can’t beat them join them. I’m switching allegiances to Chelsea and I suggest you all do to. With all that money they are bound to win something on a consistent basis. It’s the logical choice. Not very romantic, true. But hey, it’s the best bet to save face and earn those precious bragging rights. I’ll also be supporting Brazil (and Argentina, France, England — whoever wins in fact) in the WC. I also fancy those Aussie fellahs for the Ashes. Oh, and I’m either Swiss or Spanish when it comes to tennis, but I revert to being English when it comes snooker. Oooh, and did I say I was American too? I was just thinking about Beijing 2008.

  20. Sunny — on 20th May, 2006 at 6:28 pm  

    I’M SURE I SAID NO REFERENCE TO FOOTBALL PLEASE. :|

  21. El Cid — on 20th May, 2006 at 6:29 pm  

    There were TWO refs before me!

  22. Jay Singh — on 20th May, 2006 at 6:33 pm  

    El Cid

    Commiserations mate. I was gutted when you lost. But the news the Henry is staying says alot about your team. With the youth that is coming through your squad I reckon your teams going to get better and better.

  23. Jay Singh — on 20th May, 2006 at 6:35 pm  

    WTF is with this hentai stuff? Cartoon porn?

    Personally if it’s cartoon porn you want, I would like to see Daffy Duck having it off with the sexy woman from Scooby Doo.

  24. El Cid — on 20th May, 2006 at 6:35 pm  

    See Sunny — there was pentup demand out there for PPers!

  25. Sunny — on 20th May, 2006 at 6:42 pm  

    I’m just worried this pent-up demand will lead to a slagging match. And the above comment was not just directed at you dear sir.

  26. Jay Singh — on 20th May, 2006 at 6:47 pm  

    I’m reading Londonstani and enjoying it, quite funny in places. Nirpal Dhaliwal’s review was a load of rubbish.

  27. El Cid — on 20th May, 2006 at 6:57 pm  

    It will probably lead to more invective, if not a slanging match. But I think ref to “stupid Spaniard” was the problem. Otherwise, I was just keeping myself to myself. Anyway, I shall desist. Please Vik, stop dissin’ my race or I will visit the local voodoo priest or gypsy witch and put a dju-dju/curse on you to fuck up your GCSEs. Hmmmmmmm. On second thoughts, that kinda magic is waay too powerful and expensive — seeing as GCSEs are so effing easy these days. I’d welcome any alternative suggestions.

  28. David T — on 20th May, 2006 at 6:59 pm  

    I am reading Jake Arnott’s new book, Johnny Come Home

    http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/0340840358/ref=br_lf_b_0/203-6506702-2403114

    Buy buy buy!!!!

    I met Jake Arnott in a club about 2 yrs ago, before I had read any of his books, and we chatted about Morrissey and stuff.

    My wife had just read The Long Firm and He Kills Coppers. When she found out who he was, she did the whole “I’m not worthy” thing – v funny!

  29. El Cid — on 20th May, 2006 at 7:08 pm  

    If you like Jake Arnott, you might also like Danny King — The Hitman Dieries, the Burglar Diaries etc.
    But the man of the moment — at least among one circle of my friends — is Murakami Haruki.
    I’m taking the following on hols next week:
    http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/0099448793/qid=1148148475/sr=8-1/ref=sr_8_xs_ap_i1_xgl/202-8450846-1966211

  30. Katy Newton — on 20th May, 2006 at 7:10 pm  

    Jay – could Dhaliwal’s review possibly be related to the fact that reviews of Londonstani have been considerably warmer than reviews of Tourism?

  31. Jay Singh — on 20th May, 2006 at 7:10 pm  

    Best crime writer is James Elry – his novel American Tabloid about JFK being assassinated by the mafia is brilliant. LA Confidential was based on his book too.

  32. Jay Singh — on 20th May, 2006 at 7:12 pm  

    Katy

    I think Sid hit the nail on the head when he said that Dhaliwal wants to be seen ‘the only British Indian writer in the village’ ie: he wants to get all the attention as the young hip cool Asian writer of the moment! I plan on reading Tourism as well and make up my own mind.

  33. David T — on 20th May, 2006 at 7:15 pm  

    Cid/Jay – all books urged upon me by my wife. I’m trying to wean myself off non-fiction, gradually, and I’ve just booked my hols here http://www.riadelfenn.com/ without thinking about *precisely* how hot Marrakesh will be in mid July.

    So, lots of time in air conditioned rooms/pool-side, with books coming up…

  34. Jay Singh — on 20th May, 2006 at 7:20 pm  

    Spelling mistake! I meant James Ellroy

    This is the book you should all read for sleazy mafia crime thrills and conspiracy about JFK assassination

    http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/0099893207/qid=1148149171/sr=1-1/ref=sr_1_2_1/203-2341817-2442314

  35. Bikhair — on 20th May, 2006 at 7:24 pm  

    Vikrant,

    Do you know any yo Mama jokes?

  36. Jay Singh — on 20th May, 2006 at 7:25 pm  

    david that place you’re going looks very chic!
    Whatever you do don’t take Zadie Smith’s On Beauty with you. Borrowed it from the library, read 50 pages and couldnt be bothered with the rest. Boring. Who wants to read about American academics?

    Hey here’s an idea david, why don’t you take seanT’s book with you, read it and then give us a review?

    http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/074758219X/qid%3D1148149423/203-2341817-2442314

    I don’t know if he mentions the Bell Curve and the liberal conspiracy against it though, maybe that’s for his next book.

  37. Jay Singh — on 20th May, 2006 at 7:26 pm  

    Bikhair

    Come on, tell us some Yo Mama jokes and cheer us up.

  38. Jay Singh — on 20th May, 2006 at 7:26 pm  

    (as long as they are halal jokes)

  39. Roger — on 20th May, 2006 at 7:29 pm  

    One extraordinary book is Milton’s God by William Empson. It’s both a criticism and defence of Milton’s Paradise Lost and the most devastating attack on Abrahamic religion- christianity in particular, but it crosses over to others- I’ve ever come across. A superb poet too and all of his critical works are fascinating and revelatory. For novels Peter Vansittart- well into his eighties- has written novels examining the history and mythologies of Europe and their interplay. His latest- Secret Protocols- has just come out.

  40. Jay Singh — on 20th May, 2006 at 7:37 pm  

    Yikes Roger that all sounds like heavy reading.

  41. David T — on 20th May, 2006 at 7:45 pm  

    Hey here’s an idea david, why don’t you take seanT’s book with you, read it and then give us a review?

    Well, here’s a thing. I have read about half of it.

    And here’s the shocker. It is really funny. Unassuming, self-deprecating although bombastic at times, honest… and stylistically very similar to the sort of stuff that he posts on here.

    Thematically, it is a kind of Portnoy’s complaint, with a bit more of a conscience – reflexive self questioning stuff about male sexuality. His conclusions about the nature of desire are not always ones I’d share: although you’ll find an awful lot familiar in the thought processes he goes through to get there.

    Oh, and the famous bird what he used to date is… Mariella Frostrup.

    (although he is too much of a gent to say so in the book. He calls here Amelie Nielsen, or something like that)

  42. David T — on 20th May, 2006 at 7:46 pm  

    Here’s a bit of fun – Morrissey’s Ouja Board video. Generally considered one of his weakest singles, but the video has two ‘special guest stars’.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HUurFZXN7-I

    Who are they?

    (you should know this)

  43. Roger — on 20th May, 2006 at 7:55 pm  

    “Yikes Roger that all sounds like heavy reading. ”
    Except that Empson is a very witty and funny writer and Vansittart writes beautifully. Admittedly Gibbon and samuel johnson are my default leisure and pleasure reading so I may not be the ideal book recommender…

  44. sunray — on 20th May, 2006 at 7:59 pm  

    5 min audio.
    feeling stressed? just relax. (not religious)

    http://www.yogapoint.com/courses/course7/relaxation/relax_5min.wax

  45. David T — on 20th May, 2006 at 8:05 pm  
  46. John Browne — on 20th May, 2006 at 8:09 pm  

    Bruce Springstein was the greatest socialist who ever lived.
    —————————————————–

    Born in the USA and Born To Run
    Are miles better than any of the
    UK copies (eg Simply Red…. pale pink
    more like).

    John

  47. Jay Singh — on 20th May, 2006 at 9:03 pm  

    I will have to ask for Mr Bell Curve’s book at the library then.

    Come on Bikhair give us some of the Yo Mama jokes…

  48. Ravi4 — on 20th May, 2006 at 9:15 pm  

    Maybe it’s because I’m the oldest geezer on this site, but isn’t Raz’s “Pakistani Chick trying to be sexy” vid actually quite racy? particularly given it’s vintage. I can remember the days when kissing in Indian films wasn’t allowed, let alone cleavage and bum shots. (no offence to the ladies) What’s the name of the film anyway? (Purely academic interest of course…) And doesn’t the thing look more Indian than Pakistani?

    Talking of emotional films, just watched King Kong on DVD – the Peter Jackson version. For the first time. (It’s official – Fatherhood stops you going to the cinema.)

    What a brilliant movie. Jack Black is a God. As is Peter Jackson. And his wife. And Andy Serkis.

    And what a sophisticated script. This film’s got more levels than an onion.

    Btw what’s happened to Amir? I hope Jay Singh hasn’t driven him off for good. He was the only regular to this site nearer to being a neocon than me. Apart from that bloody Spaniard (only joking) El Cid of course.

  49. Jay Singh — on 20th May, 2006 at 9:19 pm  

    Come back Amir!

    I liked the 1970s remake of King Kong with Jeff Bridges – its a bloke in a gorilla suit like the Godzilla films and he climbs the World Trade Centre and gets shot down by helicopters.

    Just watched this trailer for the new film about 9/11 directed by Oliver Stone starring Nicholas Cage. Looks uncanny.

    http://www.apple.com/trailers/paramount/wtc/

    Would anyone go and watch this or the other set on the flight that crashed?

  50. Sunny — on 20th May, 2006 at 9:20 pm  

    King Kong has levels?? and yes, I was thinking the music video raz posted was quite racy. I’m not sure if it was Pakistani or not. It cannot be something I’d imagine coming out of that country now.

  51. Katy Newton — on 20th May, 2006 at 9:27 pm  

    I am now watching the Eurovision Song Contest, which is hopefully more kitsch than sad. Did anyone else want to hide behind the sofa when Finland’s group came on stage?

  52. Jay Singh — on 20th May, 2006 at 9:30 pm  

    Thos Scandinavians love their death metal dont they? I remember reading about some heavy metal band from Sweden or somewhere that murdered a fan as a sacrifice to Satan a few years back, something like that.

  53. Shallow — on 20th May, 2006 at 9:32 pm  

    David T, where’s the ghost? I can’t see him and it’s not fair.

  54. Katy Newton — on 20th May, 2006 at 9:32 pm  

    Yes, and every year there’s at least one Goth in Germany who decides to eat one of his best friends for a laugh, although I suppose that’s more Teutonic than Scandinavian.

  55. Jay Singh — on 20th May, 2006 at 9:35 pm  

    Nobody will be able to beat that German who met a man over the internet who wanted to be eaten on a cannibal website and then he ate him.

    Beware of making friends with people on PP everyone, you never know what their real motives are. Even vegetarians.

  56. David T — on 20th May, 2006 at 10:13 pm  

    Keep looking for the ghost. You will see it!

    My little boy came across the cover of an Iron Maiden album when he was about 2 and asked – not in terror, but in curiousity “What’s that”. I said “Don’t worry, its just an album”

    About a week later, he started asking to see the “Owl Picture” again. Took me about 20 mins to work out that he was talking about the “Owl-bum”.

    He immediately identified those Finnish metallers as “Owl Pictures”.

  57. David T — on 20th May, 2006 at 10:39 pm  

    Oh, that one doesn’t work

    This does, though:

    http://www.robrob8.com/seasonal/oldlady.htm

  58. Katy Newton — on 20th May, 2006 at 10:39 pm  

    Do you know what?

    I’m starting to think that the Eurovision scoring might be… you know… rigged.

    No, I’m serious. It’s like all the countries that are geographically close to each other have little deals on how to vote. It’s a scandal.

  59. Jay Singh — on 20th May, 2006 at 10:40 pm  

    hahaha

    That’s fukkin funny david!

  60. Katy Newton — on 20th May, 2006 at 10:58 pm  

    Finland have won! The Orcs have won the Eurovision Song Contest! I bet Tolkien never anticipated that.

  61. Sunny — on 20th May, 2006 at 11:09 pm  

    I’m starting to think that the Eurovision scoring might be… you know… rigged

    That’s nothing new. The whole thing is one big political point-scoring exercise. Is it any wonder we always lose, the Europeans hate Tony Blair.

  62. Katy Newton — on 20th May, 2006 at 11:15 pm  

    That’s a shame. Eurovision should not be about politics. It should transcend politics and stick to the crap music and cheap shiny revealing costumes.

  63. Ravi4 — on 20th May, 2006 at 11:17 pm  

    Faux death metal wins eurovision??? brilliant

    David – Joan Sim and Kathy Burke? btw I found that ghost thing a bit scary.

    But then I’m the kind of bloke who thinks King Kong has levels. (well at least it quotes Conrad. And there’s the parallels going on between the savagery of depression era New York & Skull Island. And the beauty and the beast thing with the girl and the playwright/ the giant gorilla … oh OK OK, it’s just an adventure story…)

    Couldn’t make that 9/11 thing work. If it’s Stone, I hope it’s not another nutty conspiracy theory like JFK… I reckon conspiracy theories are really for the religious. ie those who can’t bear to think that stuff happens for no real reason (eg most powerful man in world killed by lone loser nutcase with 1914 era mail order rifle, rather than CIA/ mafia/ military-industrial-complex conspiracy) But that’s not something for the weekend thread…

    good night

  64. David T — on 20th May, 2006 at 11:33 pm  

    Oh, I know – I couldn’t watch it (the ghost thing – not the Eurovision song contest… but then I was MADE to go on a ghost train today. I’m terrible about that sort of thing…)

    Hurrah for the mad Finns!

  65. Jay Singh — on 20th May, 2006 at 11:46 pm  

    Ravi

    The movie is called World Trade Centre and it isnt a conspiracy thing which would at least be fun in a nutty way. Its about the firemen who rushed into the towers before they collapsed. From the trailer it looks a bit schmaltzy with lots of soaring violins and American heroism. The way it is filmed looks really accurate.

  66. StrangelyPsychedelique / Kesara — on 20th May, 2006 at 11:51 pm  

    So…many….Palestinian flags…..

    :|

    photos to come, if I ever fall asleep :S

  67. David T — on 20th May, 2006 at 11:52 pm  

    I went to a bloggers/press preview of United 93 last week – I’ll do an article on it I think in the week.

    It was quite to opposite of a melodrama/boohoo film. Rather, it was a classic drama documentary. Surprisingly low key, mostly set in the control tower, and on the plane, following the reactions of people to the events in which they were involved. There was plenty of opportunity for melodrama and heroics and so on, but it played it pretty straight. Little by way of tugging at heartstrings – it moved too quickly for that, and the characters had no insight until right at the end into what was going to happen to them. Which I think was the right way to play it.

    There was one moment, though, when the German passenger said “I zink zat ve should not anger ze hijackers and do everzink that they tell us to do”. So, there was a little bit of playing to sterotypes…

    Interesting film, worth seeing.

    I ended up sitting next to Johann Hari, which was nice.

  68. Jay Singh — on 21st May, 2006 at 12:06 am  

    Is he as cuddly in real life david? Every time I see him on TV I want to pinch his chubby cheeks.

  69. David T — on 21st May, 2006 at 12:27 am  

    Johann?

    Oh yes

  70. mirax — on 21st May, 2006 at 4:38 am  

    So where’s Raz’s pakistani sex film???

  71. David T — on 21st May, 2006 at 8:33 am  

    Don’t bother. It isn’t worth it.

  72. Jai — on 21st May, 2006 at 10:39 am  

    Pickled Pendoos, Pickled Parathas, Pickled Paajis, and Pickled Poppadoms,

    So, you want Yo Mama jokes ? Here’s some I thought up earlier this morning…..

    Yo mama’s so fat, Japanese fishermen keep trying to harpoon her.

  73. Jai — on 21st May, 2006 at 10:40 am  

    Yo mama’s so fat, when she went on safari in Kenya the big game hunter shot her instead. And had her stuffed.

  74. Jai — on 21st May, 2006 at 10:40 am  

    Yo mama’s so fat, the Cylons keep mistaking her for a Battlestar.

  75. Jai — on 21st May, 2006 at 10:42 am  

    Yo mama’s so fat, when she tried to do the “Matha Tek” at the local gurdwara, she started rolling forward like that giant stone ball in “Raiders of the Lost Ark” and they had to evacuate the entire building.

  76. Jai — on 21st May, 2006 at 10:43 am  

    Yo mama’s so fat, they didn’t just give her a glass of milk on her wedding night, they gave her the whole damn cow.

  77. Jai — on 21st May, 2006 at 10:44 am  

    Yo mama’s so fat, when she went to India they had to stick signs saying “Horn Please” on her butt.

  78. Jai — on 21st May, 2006 at 10:45 am  

    Yo mama’s so fat, when Obi-Wan Kenobi said “That’s no moon” in Star Wars, he wasn’t talking about the Death Star.

  79. Jai — on 21st May, 2006 at 10:45 am  

    Yo mama’s so fat, they turned her into the biggest beefburger in the world. And then she tried to eat herself.

  80. Jai — on 21st May, 2006 at 10:50 am  

    And yes posts #72-79 are actually by me — it’s not Bikhair pretending to be yours truly. I do actually have a (probably dodgy) sense of humour, y’know, as regulars at the Sepia Mutiny blog would confirm ;)

  81. Jai — on 21st May, 2006 at 11:10 am  

    PS Guys (and gals) in the UK, if you get a chance, check out The Simpsons on Sky One at 6.30 this evening. Homer gets outsourced to India and the whole episode is set there. There’s even a Bollywood-style song & dance sequence at the end.

    Check out the Amrish Puri “Temple of Doom” references too.

  82. BevanKieran — on 21st May, 2006 at 12:13 pm  

    Yo mama’s so fat, her blood type is Ragu.

  83. Roger — on 21st May, 2006 at 12:24 pm  

    “just watched King Kong on DVD – the Peter Jackson version.”
    It takes three hours. The original only needed 100 minutes.

  84. StrangelyPsychedelique / Kesara — on 21st May, 2006 at 1:24 pm  

    The original only needed 100 minutes.

    Bah small fry, when I watched it in Sri Lanka the cinemas had an interval just after the first sunset scene so you could get a cool beer and chat about how the movie was turning out, then wham bam shazaam for the rest of it.

    I love that fillum AND WILL TAKE SEVERE ACTION AGAINST THOSE WHO DISAGREE :@

    *eats vodka jelly to compensate*

  85. Sunny — on 21st May, 2006 at 1:45 pm  

    Ha ha! That matha tek one was hilarious.

  86. Jai — on 21st May, 2006 at 2:19 pm  

    Thanks, Sunny ;)

    With regards to the Star Wars one, imagine Alec Guinness, in his distinctive voice, ominously turning to his companions and saying “That’s no moon…..That’s Yo Mama !

    heh heh

  87. Jai — on 21st May, 2006 at 2:21 pm  

    Yo mama’s so fat that when she tried to do some star-jumps, she suddenly disappeared right down into the ground and re-surfaced in Australia.

  88. Jai — on 21st May, 2006 at 2:26 pm  

    Yo mama’s so fat that the Hare Krishnas at the temple in Watford have permanently offered her free accomodation in their cow shelter.

  89. Jay Singh — on 21st May, 2006 at 2:36 pm  

    Czech politicians punching each other at a conference.

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/5001414.stm

    The way the first one slaps his rival on the back of the head to begin with is hilarious, like Laurel and Hardy.

    This is good politics.

  90. mirax — on 21st May, 2006 at 2:55 pm  

    #89 …and over a woman too!
    Good for the serious czechs to have such diverting theatre to gawk at.

    Indian parliamentarians get into frequent scuffles with chappals flying and the Taiwanese put lie to the inscrutable oriental stereotypes regularly with fisticuffs in parliament too. Good politics indeed in the view of the fact that so much modern politics is a stage-managed, media-packaged vacuous show.

  91. Jay Singh — on 21st May, 2006 at 2:58 pm  

    mirax

    This is what gets me:

    Czech Health Minister David Rath has been in a punch-up with his right-wing rival, Miroslav Macek, during ,b>a meeting of disgruntled dentists in Prague.

    A meeting of ‘disgruntled dentists’.

    Can you imagine anything more terrifying than a disgruntled dentist?

    The best thing is that after he slaps him on the head the audience of disgruntled dentists give him a round of applause. Psychos.

  92. mirax — on 21st May, 2006 at 3:03 pm  

    Yeah, that got me too;-)

    All the dentists I have met have been highly sinister characters. The health minister in the punch-up was a former dentist and I’m personally convinced this incident simply could not have happened in a gathering of any other professions.

  93. Jay Singh — on 21st May, 2006 at 3:05 pm  

    I bet if you did a survey you would find that more dentists are into sado-masochism then any other profession.

    Imagine a disgruntled dentist coming towards you with a drill.

  94. mirax — on 21st May, 2006 at 3:05 pm  

    I do hope that lurking PP dentists will now be drawn into the fray and thus blow their cover. The enemy needs to be identified!

  95. Sunny — on 21st May, 2006 at 3:12 pm  

    cow shelter, haha!

  96. David T — on 21st May, 2006 at 4:09 pm  

    It used to be said that dentists top the list of ‘jobs done by people who committed suicide”

    This is the truth:

    http://www.straightdope.com/columns/010420.html

  97. John Browne — on 21st May, 2006 at 4:53 pm  

    I recommend people buy this weeks “Big Issue”

    Some good revues and articles:

    1. Primal Urges
    “The scream are back, poised for a summer of straight-up rock’n'roll.

    2. Camp It Up
    Which Festival suits your needs. Our essential guide will help you (they appear to like Isle Of White festival).

    3. A Small Affair
    There are some smaller, perfectly formed events away from the mainstream. We check them out.

    4. Film Revue: “The King”
    A dark slice of Southern Gothic starring Gael Garcia Bernal that’s raising hell amongst born-again Christians and film critics alike.

  98. John Browne — on 21st May, 2006 at 5:01 pm  

    …New Scientist not bad either.
    TEN page article on time machines “At last, an idea we can test”….

    And for religious people “did chimps and humans once merge”? (I’m sure that explains a few things LOL).

    John

  99. Rakhee — on 21st May, 2006 at 8:22 pm  

    Jay – I just finished reading Tourism and have to say it did not impress me in the slightest. Have been following Dhaliwal’s articles in the Standard and combined with this book, he comes across as someone who is a. confused with his own identity b. trying too hard and c. disillusioned in thinking he’s cool when he’s clearly not. Maybe I’m being being harsh but Tourism does not even deserve a place on my bookshelf.

    Am about to read Londonstani though, and looking forward to it.

    2 articles worth a read in today’s Observer:

    Ned Temko on the progress Oldham has made since 2001 riots: http://www.guardian.co.uk/farright/story/0,,1779903,00.html
    and ‘sex for asylum’ – disturbing story of immigration official asking for sex from an African rape victim http://observer.guardian.co.uk/politics/story/0,,1779772,00.html

    ps Vikrant, you’re right about the kheer ;-)

  100. Jay Singh — on 21st May, 2006 at 8:28 pm  

    Rakhee

    Londonstani isn’t mindblowing, and the rudeboy patois is annoying sometimes. But it has some good things in it and it’s certainly not as bad as Dhaliwal claimed it is. I agree with you about Nirpal he seems to be trying too hard to make out that he is some kind of working class desi tough guy writer telling raw truths about ‘reality’ and the baddest Asian/black writer on the block. I will read it and see.

  101. Selena — on 21st May, 2006 at 8:45 pm  

    Rakhee

    Nirpal Singh Dhaliwal’s review of Londonstani was so obviously based out of malice and an attempt to cast himself as the only ‘real’ young writer from Southall. He also disses Zadie Smith and any other black or Asian writer who doesnt match up to him as the messiah and saviour of modern British literature, self proclaimed bad boy. Well, as bad and real as you can be married to the most highly paid and famous Bridget Jones style columnist in Fleet Street and chick lit author Liz Jones, with all the media and publishing contacts you get. But we should ignore that for now, because Nirpal is the literary bad boy telling the raw truth etc etc etc

  102. Jai — on 21st May, 2006 at 8:48 pm  

    Okay, last one, I promise…..

    Yo mamma’s so fat, she’d qualify as all 4 wives in Islam.

  103. Jay Singh — on 21st May, 2006 at 8:50 pm  

    hahaha

    Good one Jai. That one is the best.

  104. Rakhee — on 21st May, 2006 at 8:55 pm  

    Thanks Jay.

    Selena, well put! I tried not to be influenced by his background when reading it but it was that bad that I have to agree with your inference to Liz Jones.

    The thing about Tourism is that it didn’t even teach me anything new – there was nothing enlightening about it. Nothing that made me laugh out loud or have any emotional reaction. I cringed at some of the filth in it and thought ‘what are you trying to prove?’.

    Another book I do really want to read is Blood and Sand – story of a journalist who was shot 6 times in the Middle East by al-Qaeda gunmen and is now a paraplegic.
    http://books.guardian.co.uk/departments/biography/story/0,,1779676,00.html

  105. Jai — on 21st May, 2006 at 9:01 pm  

    Thanks Jay. Obviously another productive Sunday on my part ;)

    Anyway, it’s 9pm, and on a Sunday that means only one thing. Time to check out Kiefer Sutherland doing his thing on Sky One.

    Later, y’all.

  106. Vikrant — on 22nd May, 2006 at 10:13 am  

    Vikrant,

    Do you know any yo Mama jokes?

    Jo Mama is so fat that in her burkha she looks like an overgrown bat!

    Oksie i gotta head for school, got some important exams today.

  107. Roger — on 22nd May, 2006 at 1:02 pm  

    “This is good politics.”
    The distance between opposition and governemnt benches in the House of Commons is just enough to make someone have to stop and think between drawing their sword and killing an opponent. Didn’t the Somali parliament have to close recently after MPs started shooting at each other?

  108. Jay Singh — on 22nd May, 2006 at 2:15 pm  

    Three men convicted of the murder of Isaiah Young Sam in the Lozells riots

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/west_midlands/4992966.stm

  109. DJ — on 22nd May, 2006 at 2:35 pm  

    Where can I find the review of Londonstani that eveyrone’s talking about?

    Also the author is talking at the Royal Festival Hall tomorrow:

    http://www.rfh.org.uk/main/events/114778.html

  110. Sunny — on 22nd May, 2006 at 2:39 pm  

    DJ – see this thread. The review is posted in the comments below:
    http://www.pickledpolitics.com/archives/422

  111. DJ — on 22nd May, 2006 at 3:03 pm  

    Thanks Sunny. I’m going to read Londonstani – the jury’s still out on whether I can be bothered with Tourism as interviews by Dhaliwal make it seems that he has nothing interesting to say for himself…

  112. Sunny — on 22nd May, 2006 at 3:17 pm  

    You’re not the only one who thinks that.

  113. Rakhee — on 22nd May, 2006 at 3:22 pm  

    DJ – don’t get me started on Tourism again. It’s a waste of time…

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