Impress your literary friends


by Rohin
24th April, 2006 at 10:52 pm    

I might soon be back in town, but you’ll be glad to know I won’t be making too much of a nuisance of myself as I have finals to look forward to at the start of June. And it is my desperate aversion to avoid studying that brings me to the subject of this post – it’s designed to help you show off next time you talk literature with friends.

Many of our glorious readers are Asian, which makes this even better for you as now you can demonstrate you could quite easily have sailed through medical school had it interested you, so tell Mum to be quiet.

Steer the conversation onto Salman Rushdie. I don’t know, perhaps use last night’s Sharpe episode as a segué or just chuck on some Shalimar. Then say that you can make spot diagnoses simply by looking at patients, just like House. You say you think Salman Rushdie has dystrophia myotonica.

This condition is characterised by bilateral ptosis (inability to open the eyes fully) and frontal balding. See exhibit A:

As the disease progresses facial expression is lost due to muscle weakness. As you can see in exhibit B, this has clearly already taken effect as you should really look a lot happier in these pictures. Smile dude, she was in Star Trek!

Ah ok, he probably doesn’t – at least I hope not as the average life expectancy is shortened. But it is possible he has a mild form and hell your friends won’t know as long as you say it with conviction. I would need to shake his hand (sufferers have difficulty relaxing their grasp) and examine his neck to be sure.

Just felt like a random post. There seems to have been plenty of moving and shaking within the world of brown books as of late, what with Touristanis and Opal Mehta getting wild (storming up the top 10 Technorati search rankings) so perhaps that’s why I thought I’d share my Rushdie revelation with you.


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  1. j0nz — on 24th April, 2006 at 11:29 pm  

    How did you see Sharpe if you wasn’t in the country? EH?! Twas goode though. Just saw the 2nd installment.

    SHE was in Star Trek? Was that Voyager or DS9?

  2. j0nz — on 24th April, 2006 at 11:32 pm  

    Thanks to Google Ads I now see that Tesco stocks The Satanic Verses. Has anyone actually read the thing through? I tried an online version.. but it was a bit …wordy.

  3. Rohin — on 25th April, 2006 at 12:36 am  

    I haven’t read it j0nz because I can’t read. She was in the booby prize of Treks, ENTERPRISE. The lame of the lame.

    I didn’t see Sharpe, but I heard she was in it a few weeks back like.

  4. Sunny — on 25th April, 2006 at 1:12 am  

    Padma Laxshmi had a bit part in Mistress of Spices, which I saw a few weeks back. Boy was it cringe-worthy. She’s in her mid-30s trying to pretend to be in her early 20s. That acting career is not happening, yet.

  5. Rohin — on 25th April, 2006 at 2:13 am  

    Why is she bothering? Stick to dossing around, I would. Mistress of Spices is a film I won’t go near no matter how much spice I’m given. Good Lord, it just looks so awful and the mauling in the reviews I’ve read so far (i.e. online – SAfrica is a bit behind film-wise, but hopefully that tosh won’t even make it) is hilarious.

    Glitter
    Boom
    Mistress of Spices
    Enterprise

    It’s like a catalogue of mega-flops. She’s cursed! But I would rather watch her than Ash.

  6. Tanvir — on 25th April, 2006 at 7:08 am  

    Hey Rohin do you have any tips mate? My revision has mostly consisted of wasting time buying books off amazon, i think I should be given some free shares in Pastest publishing by now! I have now resorted to revison timetable version 6, which needs to squeeze in a system a day! bearing in mind i havnt looked at most of them since december…

  7. Rohin — on 25th April, 2006 at 9:52 am  

    Are you doing finals too Tanvir? I didn’t realise that! Mate, you’re in deeeep trouble if you’re asking me for study advice. Oh look, there’s you on your website! Up till now I figured you looked like my mate Tanvir, what with you having the same name and all.

  8. SajiniW — on 27th April, 2006 at 1:48 pm  

    Padma’s got her cookery shows dammit – she sometimes presents Planet Food/Yatra on the travel channel.

    Rarely cooks, rarely eats – very beautiful tho!

  9. Jai — on 27th April, 2006 at 2:44 pm  

    So what did you guys think of “Sharpe’s Challenge” ?

    I had very mixed feelings indeed about the basic premise of the show, until it became apparent that Sharpe himself did not agree with the East India Company’s money-driven expansionist aims within India (something he made clear at the very end of the second episode).

    Not too sure about the undertone of Indians allegedly “not observing rules of war” either, considering that historically Rajputs & Sikhs in particular had very clearly-defined chivalrous codes for permissible conduct in warfare.

  10. kismet hardy — on 28th April, 2006 at 9:01 am  

    satanic verses is a fantastic book

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