This was posted by a reader in an earlier thread. It deserves to be on the front page.
*Chris Rock pays a visit to the polo club*
Chris: Hey buddy, whereâ€™s the reception ?
Polo player (looking at him suspiciously): Can I help you, young man ?
Chris: Yeah, Iâ€™m thinking of joining the club but Iâ€™d like to take a look around first.
Polo player: Er, right. Well, the receptionâ€™s just over there. Ask for a man called Sooty. Heâ€™s the localâ€¦.well, youâ€™ll know when you see him.
Chris: Thanks, man.
*Enters main building and approaches reception*
Chris: Hi there. Iâ€™m looking for a guy called Sooty ?
Hot girl: Heâ€™s that gentleman over there with his back to us, near the window.
Chris: Yo Sooty !
Sooty (turns around): Erâ€¦..yes ?
Chris: Hi, I was looking for a guided tour andâ€¦..wait a fucking minute, youâ€™re nameâ€™s Sooty ?
Sooty: Actually itâ€™s Dhillon, but Sooty is an affectionate nickname these gentlemen have for me.
Chris: Why the fuck do they call you Sooty ?
Sooty: Becauseâ€¦..well, you know, itâ€™s rather obvious, isnâ€™t it ?
Chris: And you donâ€™t have a problem with that ?
Sooty: Of course not. Actually I enjoy it.
Chris: What the fuck ?! Motherfucker, what the hell is wrong with you ?
Sooty: Donâ€™t take that tone with me, young man. Iâ€™m surprised they let you in here in the first place.
Chris: Man, fuck you. You see that Bentley parked over there ? I got 5 more of â€˜em at home !
Sooty: Are you the chauffeur ?
Chris: Jesus, you are really pissing me off. You need to have some self-respect, man, you ainâ€™t some fucking punkahwalla. Your people fucking invented this version of polo, for Godâ€™s sake.
Sooty: What people ?
Sooty (looking around, panicking): Indians ?! WHERE ?
Chris (shaking his head): Shiiiiiitâ€¦..
*The Maharajah of Chandigarh walks by, nods at Sooty*
Maharajah: Kiddan, Kala ?
Sooty (muttering): Fucking paki.
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Filed in: British Identity,Humour