Chris Rock meets ‘sooty’ at the Polo club


by Sunny
14th January, 2009 at 2:40 pm    

This was posted by a reader in an earlier thread. It deserves to be on the front page.

*Chris Rock pays a visit to the polo club*

Chris: Hey buddy, where’s the reception ?

Polo player (looking at him suspiciously): Can I help you, young man ?

Chris: Yeah, I’m thinking of joining the club but I’d like to take a look around first.

Polo player: Er, right. Well, the reception’s just over there. Ask for a man called Sooty. He’s the local….well, you’ll know when you see him.

Chris: Thanks, man.

*Enters main building and approaches reception*

Chris: Hi there. I’m looking for a guy called Sooty ?

Hot girl: He’s that gentleman over there with his back to us, near the window.

Chris: Yo Sooty !

Sooty (turns around): Er…..yes ?

Chris: Hi, I was looking for a guided tour and…..wait a fucking minute, you’re name’s Sooty ?

Sooty: Actually it’s Dhillon, but Sooty is an affectionate nickname these gentlemen have for me.

Chris: Why the fuck do they call you Sooty ?

Sooty: Because…..well, you know, it’s rather obvious, isn’t it ?

Chris: And you don’t have a problem with that ?

Sooty: Of course not. Actually I enjoy it.

Chris: What the fuck ?! Motherfucker, what the hell is wrong with you ?

Sooty: Don’t take that tone with me, young man. I’m surprised they let you in here in the first place.

Chris: Man, fuck you. You see that Bentley parked over there ? I got 5 more of ‘em at home !

Sooty: Are you the chauffeur ?

Chris: Jesus, you are really pissing me off. You need to have some self-respect, man, you ain’t some fucking punkahwalla. Your people fucking invented this version of polo, for God’s sake.

Sooty: What people ?

Chris: Indians.

Sooty (looking around, panicking): Indians ?! WHERE ?

Chris (shaking his head): Shiiiiiit…..

*The Maharajah of Chandigarh walks by, nods at Sooty*

Maharajah: Kiddan, Kala ?

Sooty (muttering): Fucking paki.


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Filed in: British Identity,Humour






19 Comments below   |  

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  1. Jai — on 14th January, 2009 at 3:57 pm  

    Sunny, thanks for posting this, I’m honoured ;)

    *******************

    By the way, do you still have the link for the “Why it’s hard being Indian” skit by Chris Rock from Youtube which PP recently linked to ? I didn’t get a chance to check it out at the time and I can’t find it on PP anymore either (or on Youtube).

    Cheers mate.

  2. Sunny — on 14th January, 2009 at 4:08 pm  

    heh, no worries. I thought this was inspired.

    here you go:
    http://www.pickledpolitics.com/archives/2628

  3. SE — on 14th January, 2009 at 4:42 pm  

    :D

  4. Vikrant — on 14th January, 2009 at 6:47 pm  

    This reeks of typical rudeboy ‘humour’. Funny how Mr.Dhillon is being ridiculed as a sellout and an uncle Tom by the very people who are ‘outraged’ over the treatment he gets! Dont you think you are being unfair to the guy? Growing up i would get called a coconut for my public school accent or lack of asian friends. Heck even here in America i get uncle Tom jibes from desis of all nationalities for speaking like India’s colonial masters.

  5. Vikrant — on 14th January, 2009 at 6:50 pm  

    also Chandigarh doesnt have a Maharajah you must ‘av meant Patiala! :)

  6. marvin — on 14th January, 2009 at 6:53 pm  

    4 #I agree…

    You need self respec’ bruv nah i mean. They is calling you sooty, what da fuck man. etc etc. You is letting milky bar honkeys mock you innit bruv. You is letting crack ass milky devils disrepecting your black ass.

  7. Random Guy — on 14th January, 2009 at 7:14 pm  

    Jai, that was utterly hilarious. Not lmao that much in a long time :D

  8. Sunny — on 14th January, 2009 at 7:30 pm  

    Vikrant – outraged over what? You mean its not possible to be annoyed at the guy using such stupid language, and the guy who says he’s happy with it?

  9. El Cid — on 14th January, 2009 at 9:00 pm  

    :)

  10. Shamit — on 14th January, 2009 at 9:44 pm  

    This is wicked.

    Well done Jai.

  11. dave bones — on 14th January, 2009 at 10:05 pm  

    How did the TV go this morning? Are the monarchy overthrown now?

  12. Ravi Naik — on 14th January, 2009 at 10:13 pm  

    Vikrant has a point. It’s difficult to imagine Mr Dhillon suffering more abuse by whites in his polo club, than by what Asians have written about him in PP.

  13. Amrit — on 14th January, 2009 at 11:23 pm  

    LMAO!

  14. platinum786 — on 15th January, 2009 at 11:04 am  

    Jai apparently was alive during the 70′s, he’s far too old to be a rudeboy….

    Funny stuff though, rate it.

  15. Jai — on 15th January, 2009 at 11:33 am  

    also Chandigarh doesnt have a Maharajah

    Well done, Einstein ;) It was deliberate.

    Dont you think you are being unfair to the guy?

    Vikrant has a point. It’s difficult to imagine Mr Dhillon suffering more abuse by whites in his polo club, than by what Asians have written about him in PP.

    I agree that there should be a limit to the extent that the hapless Mr Dhillon is tarred & feathered. Like I said before, my gripe isn’t the fact that his royal buddy calls him by this name but the fact that a whole bunch of other white guys at the club do too and that (for some weird reason) Mr Dhillon has stated that he “enjoys” it.

    If he really regarded this as being “nobody else’s business” then his response to the media’s enquiries should have been a statement that he views this as a private matter, or at least “no comment”. Not “a lot of other people in our gang call me that too and actually I enjoy it”, for God’s sake. To some extent he’s bought this ridicule upon himself.

    I doubt it’s much fun for his family either, assuming that he’s married and that his kids didn’t already rejoice about their father being called “Sooty” by his white friends. Unless they’re a couple of Mr and Ms Mini Coopers (hah, did ya see what I did there ?).

    *shrug* Whatever.

    Jai apparently was alive during the 70’s, he’s far too old to be a rudeboy…..

    I was born in the 70s. Trust me, I was exactly the right age to be a rudeboy during the 90s…..

    Oh, and Marvin:

    You need self respec’ bruv nah i mean. They is calling you sooty, what da fuck man. etc etc. You is letting milky bar honkeys mock you innit bruv. You is letting crack ass milky devils disrepecting your black ass.

    Ali G impressions went out of style about a decade ago, pal. Since they’ve just defrosted you, I’d better let you know that the Millennium Bug turned out to be an anticlimax, kinda like Nick Griffin’s wedding night.

  16. fug — on 15th January, 2009 at 12:30 pm  

    maybe it originates from an occasion where he got covered in soot?

    i think the whole manouvre might have been our chuck trying to deflect righteous indignation away from his son.

    tying to think what fanon would say, though he’d probably be busy in palestine right now.

  17. marvin — on 15th January, 2009 at 12:30 pm  

    Ali G impressions went out of style about a decade ago

    Haha. Nothing to do with Ali G my friend. Have you been to East London at all? I hear real people talk like that. But you are all above that now, I’m sure.

  18. Jai — on 15th January, 2009 at 1:06 pm  

    Have you been to East London at all? I hear real people talk like that. But you are all above that now, I’m sure.

    I’m not from East London, but in reality we Asians all talk like we’ve just stepped out of a Jane Austen novel. We just pretend to talk like rudeboys in front of white people as a gigantic secret joke. I thought everyone knew that. Get with the programme, Marv mah man.

    ***************************

    Sunny mundea,

    here you go:
    http://www.pickledpolitics.com/archives/2628

    Thanks for that, mate. Turns out the first bit is about Native Americans rather than what I’d assumed it to be about, ie. no turbans involved, but it’s still freakin’ brilliant. I’ve seen it before, it’s from the “Kill the Messenger” gig I’ve mentioned a couple of tmes. Fantastic stuff.

    People, if you’re new to Chris Rock World or you just haven’t seen this clip, check it out. For the newbies, it’s a great introduction to the guy’s genius and way of thinking, and for everyone else, the clip has some superb comments on race relations in the US (some of which apply to life here in Ol’ Blighty too). It’s only about 6 minutes long but it packs in a lot of dead-on observations.

    The clip has some links to a few more Youtube clips of Chris’s gigs too.

  19. Jai — on 23rd January, 2009 at 5:34 pm  

    I’ve seen it before, it’s from the “Kill the Messenger” gig I’ve mentioned a couple of tmes.

    Very very very belated correction: it’s from “Bigger & Blacker”, not KTM. Thank you Youtube.

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