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  • Technorati: graph / links

    What shall I write about?


    by Sunny on 17th December, 2008 at 11:54 pm    

    The noble editors of CIF would like me to write something ‘counter-intuitive‘ - i.e. an issue I wouldn’t normally touch with a bargepole, for Christmas. Someone on CIF suggested: “Sunny Hundal’s country diary (should include cheesemaking and cider-tasting).” Hmm… I don’t think that’s out-there enough. I might enjoy cider-tasting! Apparently Ariane Sherine should do taxation… and I have no doubt she’d write something funny about that too.
    I don’t have a sense of humour but you folks know better than most what I like writing about. So what would be… counter-intuitive?



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    61 Comments below   |   Add your own

    1. BenSix — on 18th December, 2008 at 12:15 am  

      I challenge you to include the sentence “I wholly agree with my friend, Brendan O’Neill/Nadine Dorries/John Pilger…”

      Ben

    2. Sunny — on 18th December, 2008 at 1:11 am  

      oh dear….

    3. sarah — on 18th December, 2008 at 1:25 am  

      Disability?

    4. Leon — on 18th December, 2008 at 1:40 am  

      Write condoning the full legalisation of all drugs, to be sold in outlets the way booze is now. :D

    5. douglas clark — on 18th December, 2008 at 2:21 am  

      Oh! Bugger it. I agree with Leon. Does that me a very bad person?

    6. dave bones — on 18th December, 2008 at 2:27 am  

      I’d have to vote with Leon too. “Counter Intuitive”. I’ll have to remember that. Counter intuitive for you would be writing about trash tv or something no? Something celebrity based maybe.

    7. douglas clark — on 18th December, 2008 at 2:50 am  

      Leon and Dave,

      Bet he doesn’t. Far too conservative, so he is.

      Counter intuitive, well this would be a step too far for Mr Hundal. It would take him outside party politics, and that would be anathema.

      Sad, ain’t it?

    8. shariq — on 18th December, 2008 at 5:00 am  

      Make an argument on the importance of marriage from a centre-left perspective. I.e looking at the evidence from Scandinavia where divorce rates are much lower than the supposedly more culturally conservative America.

      Talk about the state’s duty in providing child care, add in some stuff about gay marriage and presto - a counter-intuitive case for marriage for christmas.

    9. Boyo — on 18th December, 2008 at 7:43 am  

      Dating.

    10. douglas clark — on 18th December, 2008 at 9:39 am  

      dave bones @ 6,

      So, who do you want to win, Rachel or Lisa? Or that other guy. Tom, or something?

      Nothing else matters, apparently.

    11. douglas clark — on 18th December, 2008 at 9:54 am  

      OK,

      Headline Only:

      “Rugby League - A Southerners love affair with the sport of men”

      Of course, if you wrote an article about that, it might well create a black hole in the Universe and end all life as we know it. There is counter intuitive and there is unbelievable. I’m not sure I’ve sorted them out.

    12. persephone — on 18th December, 2008 at 10:56 am  

      as its xmas: fatherhood - how your life would change/what you would do if you discovered a baby (that was yours but the mother had never told you until now) had been suddenly left on your doorstep one morning, say on xmas day before all the rellys were due to arrive for xmas?

    13. Boyo — on 18th December, 2008 at 11:18 am  

      “how your life would change/what you would do if you discovered a baby (that was yours but the mother had never told you until now)”

      ha. i don’t know about sunny, but I could definitely comment on that!

    14. Sofia — on 18th December, 2008 at 11:36 am  

      Topics

      The BNP isn’t really that bad..
      The joys of right wing conservatism
      I’m a jalebi junkie
      The little book of Tebbitisms

    15. hermes — on 18th December, 2008 at 11:42 am  

      Hang on, Sunny…this is a bit cheeky! Do we all get a cut from your fees for these ideas?

    16. Sid — on 18th December, 2008 at 11:45 am  

      Write about how important it is to manage your calendar with the fashionable “environmentalists” Plane Stupid! so that their airport disruptions never happen on the same day as your flight.

      It’s great when you’re an eco-warrior. Yeah!

    17. Sofia — on 18th December, 2008 at 11:46 am  

      Why I hate my employers
      No such thing as a free press

    18. Sofia — on 18th December, 2008 at 11:52 am  

      Why I wouldn’t mind giving strictly come dancing a go?

    19. sonia — on 18th December, 2008 at 11:52 am  

      yeah it’s hard isn’t it? its like being in school with the english teacher saying ‘just write something’!

      perhaps these guys mean don’t say anything political (which is hard!) - perhaps they want a bit of satire from you or something.

    20. persephone — on 18th December, 2008 at 11:56 am  

      Victoria’s secret: the secret of Victoria Beckham’s success & why she is a good modern role model

      Joys of capitalism (but still on politics so mebbe not)

      Why cosmetic surgery is a good thing

    21. Jai — on 18th December, 2008 at 12:10 pm  

      i.e. an issue I wouldn’t normally touch with a bargepole,

      The benefits of arranged marriages.

      The benefits of joint/extended families.

      The benefits of a white/non-Asian person marrying into an Indian family: why this is good for all parties involved.

      Lessons 2nd-generation British Asians can learn from their parents.

      Why it’s great to be a part of the Indian diaspora.

      Go East: The future cultural influence (dominance ?) of India and China on the rest of the world.

      The future is brown: How the rise of India and the Hispanicisation of the United States during the 21st Century will impact white people’s notions of their place in the world.

      Why India, Pakistan, Bangladesh, Sri Lanka and Nepal should unite to form a single superpower.

      (One for xmas:) Jesus Christ, Guru Gobind Singh and Krishna — The similarity of the Nativity story to the births of Sikh and Hindu religious figures.

    22. sonia — on 18th December, 2008 at 12:15 pm  

      jai you’re on to something. some good suggestions there!

      perhaps Sunny can send that list around the CiF lot and everyone has to choose one.

      :-)

      Why India, Pakistan, Bangladesh, Sri Lanka and Nepal should unite to form a single superpower. i like this one!

      sunny write something about what you think about various feminists and feminisms - and don’t be so politically correct & tell it from the ‘poor downtrodden man’ angle! :-)

    23. sonia — on 18th December, 2008 at 12:15 pm  

      ok i’m procrastinating here, i have an impending deadline so better make tracks..!

    24. Rumbold — on 18th December, 2008 at 12:30 pm  

      “Why people should be allowed to keep some of their own money instead of the state stealing it all.”

      “Boris Johnson- why I have his poster on my wall.”

      “Vegetarians- just grow up.”

    25. Jai — on 18th December, 2008 at 12:36 pm  

      perhaps they want a bit of satire from you or something.

      What to do the first time your parents catch you in bed with someone: What every good Asian boy/girl should know.

      No sex please, we’re Asian: How to tell your parents you’re not a virgin anymore (and haven’t been one for quite some time).

      Someone you can take home to meet your mother: The joys and perils of introducing your girlfriend/boyfriend/potential spouse to your “traditional” Asian parents.

      I want to marry a Pussycat Doll not a homely kurri, mum.

      The corruption of a good Bengali boy: What happened after Jai and Sunny bought Ashik his first lapdance.

    26. Amrit — on 18th December, 2008 at 12:37 pm  

      ‘Why so many politicos just need to get laid.’

      ‘My secret life amid the far-left intelligentsia.’

      ‘Anthony Browne: misunderstood but lovable?’

      or how about

      ‘It’s time for brown people to vote Tory’
      :-P :D
      OMG, Jai, that is BRILLIANT!

    27. Rumbold — on 18th December, 2008 at 12:38 pm  

      Heh Amrit.

      “It’s time for brown people to vote Tory.”

      Oh dear.

    28. Jai — on 18th December, 2008 at 12:40 pm  

      Rachel Stevens and Lisa Snowdon: Why I can’t choose between them, aka why I want to have my cake and eat it threeways too.

    29. Amrit — on 18th December, 2008 at 12:42 pm  

      *giggles heartily at the above*

      Ooh! Oooh! I know!

      ‘Why Obama is Overrated’

      :-D

      A twist on Jai’s suggestion above:

      ‘Ann Widdecombe and Margaret Thatcher: Why I can’t choose between them, aka why I want to have my cake and eat it threeways too.’

      or replace one of the names with Nadine Dorries. :D

    30. Muhamad — on 18th December, 2008 at 12:44 pm  

      1. a) Why America ought to enlist India and China in occupying Pakistan to stop it from disintegrating into smaller countries like Paktunistan.
      b) Why we ought to support our brave soldiers once they are in there.

      2. The Case For Kalistan.

      FYI Sunny cheese making and cider tasting isn’t all that happens in the country! :-)

    31. Sid — on 18th December, 2008 at 12:44 pm  

      “Why I want to make the love that dare not speak its name with Jeremy Clarkson.”

    32. Jai — on 18th December, 2008 at 12:47 pm  

      Her naughty little secret: Bad Indian Girls going commando under their saris during Navratri.

      Aka:

      Debunking the myth of the demure 2nd-gen British Indian woman.

    33. Sid — on 18th December, 2008 at 12:48 pm  

      Is Widow Twanky from English pantomime actually a Southasian mother-in-law?

    34. Sid — on 18th December, 2008 at 12:51 pm  

      [expletive deleted]

    35. justforfun — on 18th December, 2008 at 1:04 pm  

      “Blogging - opiate of the chatteratjis”. Discuss.

      justforfun

    36. SKye-Vee — on 18th December, 2008 at 1:35 pm  

      A subject he wouldn’t touch with a bargepole eh?

      He should right about the plight of Britons transvestites in finding correctly fitting lingerie and shoes. He can interview prominent transsexuals and pantomime dames, or even various characters from musicals.

      Headline The Plight of Transvestites and their Tights.

    37. sonia — on 18th December, 2008 at 1:49 pm  

      32. jai - you are good, you ought to have a column!

    38. sonia — on 18th December, 2008 at 1:50 pm  

      29, amrit - why obama is overrated

      heh that’s a good one for sunny to write. an exercise in writing for the sake of it!

    39. sonia — on 18th December, 2008 at 1:53 pm  

      25. Jai - brilliant.

      You definitely have to pen a few of those…i’m sure they will be exceedingly popular.

      why it will be like goodness gracious me all over again :-)

    40. Sofia — on 18th December, 2008 at 1:59 pm  

      Jai..hehe…

    41. Leon — on 18th December, 2008 at 2:32 pm  

      as its xmas: fatherhood - how your life would change/what you would do if you discovered a baby (that was yours but the mother had never told you until now) had been suddenly left on your doorstep one morning, say on xmas day before all the rellys were due to arrive for xmas?

      :D :D :D

      “Why people should be allowed to keep some of their own money instead of the state stealing it all.”

      “Boris Johnson- why I have his poster on my wall.”

      “Vegetarians- just grow up.”

      Haha! I really like these especially that last one!

      ‘It’s time for brown people to vote Tory’

      Haha-oh wait?!

    42. persephone — on 18th December, 2008 at 2:47 pm  

      “Why people should be allowed to keep some of their own money instead of the state stealing it all.”

      In a similar vein:

      - Why we should abolish the welfare state or

      - Why the rate of tax you pay/have paid should correlate with the level of benefits you can tap into from the nhs, welfare state…

    43. AsifB — on 18th December, 2008 at 3:43 pm  

      - Why Scrooge should have stuck to his guns and told the ghost of Xmas future he was an opiatic illusion

      - Bush, good band, better President

      - Pension funding crisis; why it’s ethical to invest in Big Tobacco

      - From Obama to Obomber, how long till impeachment beckons?

      - Ringo, best drummer in the Beatles

      - It’s time to sell Wales to the highest bidder.

      - Sod Europe, let’s join the United States c. DDavies http://crookedtimber.org/2004/11/07/the-british-american-project/

    44. persephone — on 18th December, 2008 at 3:51 pm  

      The end of bling is nigh. What we lose from the demise of the bling culture

    45. Jai — on 18th December, 2008 at 3:57 pm  

      Thanks Sonia, very nice of you.

      Another one:

      In Praise of Dancing Sluts: A fireside chat with Anjem Choudary.

    46. BenSix — on 18th December, 2008 at 4:00 pm  

      “Ooh, Hang On, You Can’t Be Liberal And Left-Wing After All…”

      “Blogging Is About As Useful As Hitting Yourself Over The Head With A Cricket Bat…”

      “Politics Is Dull; I’m Taking Up Gardening!”

      “Give Me Libertarianism Or Give Me Death…”

      “”Say It Ain’t So, Sunny”: How I Learnt To Love Sarah Palin…”

      “In Praise of Dancing Sluts: A fireside chat with Anjem Choudary.”

      Ahahaha!

    47. Jai — on 18th December, 2008 at 4:08 pm  

      “Just phone me on my mobile if you can’t reach me on the landline to check if I’m ‘okay’, mum”: aka How to persuade your Asian parents to let you stay in college accomodation while at university (rather than commute from home) even if they bloody well know that you only want to do it so you can get laid.

      “Sorry about getting diverted to my voicemail, Dad, I was working really late last night”: aka How to persuade your Asian parents to let you stay in your own flat before marriage even if they bloody well know that you only want to do it so you can still get laid.

    48. Jai — on 18th December, 2008 at 4:12 pm  

      From Umrao Jaan to Tiffany: Are lapdancers the Mughal courtesans of the 21st century ?

    49. Jai — on 18th December, 2008 at 4:37 pm  

      ^^Yes yes, I know Umrao Jaan wasn’t involved with the Mughals, before anyone points it out. I just thought it sounded good ;)

      Here’s one more:

      Darling, I’m getting hitched: Breaking the news to your girlfriend/boyfriend about your impending arranged marriage (and living to tell the tale).

    50. Amrit — on 18th December, 2008 at 5:31 pm  

      Leon ;-) :D
      Jai, you are a genius. Please can he have his own Jester’s Corner or somesuch on PP? :D
      And AsifB’s contributions were hilarious as well. Hahahaha.

    51. BenSix — on 18th December, 2008 at 5:36 pm  

      “On Dialectic And The Crisis Of The Aesthetic: A Web 2.0 Perspective…”

      “Radical Islamists: Jamaat Like Them If You Get To Know Them…”

      “What’s Left Of Whatever Was Left Of The Left?”

    52. BenSix — on 18th December, 2008 at 5:38 pm  

      “There’s Only One Solution To The Israel/Palestine Conflict: Pro-Wrestling…”

    53. halima — on 18th December, 2008 at 5:56 pm  

      First ladies: France versus America.

      How I mis-understood John Pilger.:D

      Superheros - which one is simply the best.

      Beauty or brains.

    54. halima — on 18th December, 2008 at 6:08 pm  

      The tash is back . Seperating the men from the boys…. Beards.

    55. Jai — on 18th December, 2008 at 7:16 pm  

      Jai, you are a genius. Please can he have his own Jester’s Corner or somesuch on PP?

      Thanks Amrit, very kind of you to say so.

      I want to marry a Pussycat Doll not a homely kurri, mum.

      This would actually make a good title for an autobiography. Or, er, a Jerry Springer episode.

      What to do the first time your parents catch you in bed with someone: What every good Asian boy/girl should know.

      Of course, the correct initial response, as we all know, is to roll off the other naked person, wipe the lipstick smudges off your face, and calmly say “It’s not what it looks like”.

    56. misssc — on 18th December, 2008 at 7:44 pm  

      lol - these ideas are hilarious!

      But most of them aren’t exactly a new direction - I agree that they probably don’t want you to write about anything overtly political. Or anything else you’ve written about before in some (maybe slightly less flippant…) way, about culture, race, religion, dating, the generation gap, economics….

      They probably want you to write about something a bit “feel-good,” with a twist. So, seeing as it’s Christmas, maybe just write about Christmas? Too obvious? Well, it is topical… And after 2000-odd years of comment (some a bit less free), writing something original and counter-intuitive should be a nice challenge for you. I’m sure you have some insightful perspectives. But with the added challenge that the main focus can’t be any of the above… But no sense of humour?? Oh, the humility!

      I don’t expect a cut, just footnote me ok! ;)

    57. Desi Italiana — on 18th December, 2008 at 8:04 pm  

      Muslims in the UK.

      Asian women and dating.

      How the “extreme left” is poisonous to all those good liberals politics.

      How Desi Italiana is really Michelle Malkin and/or Ann Coulter.

    58. Sunny — on 19th December, 2008 at 1:58 am  

      How I wish I had the time to write these all….

    59. Joe Otten — on 19th December, 2008 at 8:17 am  

      Something on biker culture?

    60. Sofia — on 19th December, 2008 at 9:44 am  

      Sunny….”you have all the time in the worllllllllddddd”

    61. marvin — on 20th December, 2008 at 1:10 am  

      “Why the Iraq war was a good thing”

      I know you could do it, and it’s about as counter-intuitive as Sunny could be.

      Massive Kudos if you could pull off something convincing.



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