Why do Asian girls go out with black guys?
So, Rupa Huq isn’t too impressed by Ruth Fowler’s article stating that she “had a thing for Asian boys”. A few people emailed me after Ruth’s piece and said omg wasn’t it offensive? I didn’t think so. Partly, the thing is that Ruth Fowler wants to be talked about so I doubt she’s too fussed about Rupa’s accusations. (I can somewhat relate to that – I even went on my Facebook hategroup and told them they needed to bump up the numbers!). In the modern age, the more haters you have the more fun it is.
But. There is a danger, when talking about race and religion and even feminism, that people take offence too easily. This is destructive. I’m not sure what Rupa’s argument is – I’m sure she’ll explain herself below soon enough – because initially it’s about how Ruth Fowler has a bit a colonial hangover and then its about not recognising the diversity amongst British Asians. On the latter, I think white people are getting the hang of it – its the brown people who are more guilty of perpetuating it. During the mayoral race we saw Muslim groups pretending that all Muslims behaved the same and would march to the ballot box and ensure Boris wouldn’t be let in. We know how that turned out.
Was Ruth Fowler being patronising when she said she liked Asian boys? Let’s throw away the assumption this is only one way. People of all races find those others ‘exotic’ and sometimes want them on that basis. Not all the time, but it does happen. Asian ‘boys’ are no different. Asian women aren’t any different. So if a white girl says that about a brown guy, its colonial… and if a brown boy says that about a white or black girl… does it became reverse-colonialism? C’mon now! This is a new generation and I think its time to lay the orientalism crap to rest… or leave it to the Daily Express.
Now – about the title of this post. The question posed was a long-running joke among us barficulture regulars (when I used to spend more time running it) because so many Asian guys came on and asked it. After a while we just made fun of them. (The other long-running joke question was: Do girls find guys with turbans attractive? Heh).
I’ve known Asian girls with a preference for black guys because they saw them as more virile and women with a preference for white guys because they came without the cultural baggage.
You know what – it’s a free world. People get too uptight about these things. Don’t get mad, get laid! That’s my pearl of wisdom this bank holiday weekend.
You should definitely try writing plots to a teenage soap opera…
For what is worth, I find Rupa Huq’s article patronising, not Ruth Fowler’s.
These asian girls who go out with kaleh and gora should think twice before doing so, what would there parents think, does it not matter to them? what impression would it give it to there family and community, aspects which we as asians keep as high priorities.
Asian girls who go out with kaleh tend to do it either for the “the image” of going with a black guy and purposely giving a bad name to the rest of community. However i have most commonly seen asian girls go off with white guys, too often have i seen an asian girl hold hand-in-hand with a goreh on streets whilst the asian girl gives the asian guy walking past a dirty look as if what she is doing is to prove some point.
Just had a look at the thread. They really don’t like her do they? As a die-hard romantic/idealistic/slightly soppy and naive spinster I believe you can’t help who you who fall for. I might post that on CiF.
You have a facebook hategroup? Man you have fucking *arrived*.
Well, I have to share it with two other women but I’m getting there! It hasn’t grown past 30 though and half the people on there are arguing against the creators, which isn’t helpful. I’ve arrived when there’s 30,000 in the streets marching against me!
Riazat As a die-hard romantic/idealistic/slightly soppy and naive spinster I believe you can’t help who you who fall for. I might post that on CiF.
There’s a facebook group for you too – Bollywood made me develop unrealistic romantic expectations about men
Maybe Asian girls find Asian boys’talk uninspiring. How long can you put up with Bolly, bhangra and biriyani?
@Sunny – Bollywood hasn’t given me unrealistic expectations, it’s given me no expectations. I cannot live up to those screen sirens with their poker straight hair, hourglass figures, perky demeanours and winning smiles. You’ve met me – I’m short, I swear, I’m grumpy and I don’t have those alluring wiles that I saw played endlessly on our TV. I am not even quirky-but-cute in a Preity Zinta kind of way. I’m just a bloody-minded individual. This is an entirely different topic of course. But really, whatever floats your boat right? I don’t see that being attracted to someone darker than you is a colonialist throwback or being attracted to someone paler is post-colonialism revenge. It’s just chemistry innit?
Do I find this person attractive? Do I like this person? These seem like reasonable questions to me, if you’re in the mate-seeking phase of your life.
Should I find this person attractive? Should I like this person? That seems like giving up way too much of your person-hood to satisfy arbitrary criteria, out-dated custom or antiquated text.
RaZor,
( Interesting handle, very …edgy.)
Taking a disapproving interest in the race of another person’s partner is among the most squalid things one can do. I suspect the dirty looks you are getting from girls are probably more about you than anything else.
No she wasn’t being patronising I just think Ms Huq got a little bit jealous…
Colonial hangovers? Colonial hangovers?!
A little girl in her Year 9 Home Economics class suffers from “Colonial hangovers” so dotes on the little Asian boy?
How are these people published authors, I demand to know, Hundal, let leave allowed to make guest appearances on the “international lecture circuit”?!
I concur.
It’s almost as if she’s saying that it’s fine for the girls to experiment with relationships outside of their race because it’s a sign of the times and an indicator of progression… but if a white girl likes an Asian lad then they’re just guilt ridden?
Heck, if it gets me laid…
Yes, quite, and I smoke ganja until I’m green in the face to spite my brown nose.
I honestly never imagined there was such a dearth of talent amongst British Asian writers… no, wait, am I using the term ‘Asian’ incorrectly?
What is most worrying is what CIF publishes as opposed to what it won’t. Every time I have tried to contribute an article on some issue related to institutional racism it gets bounced, but something about interracial nooky (old orientalist fantasies abounding) and two articles are published. Wow, I’m obviously barking up the wrong tree (no offence Rupa – I think you would agree).
But while I AM on the subject, as an outwardly white woman with an Indian (not “British Asian”) partner I have often been asked by white people what is it I have with india and indians (I also do yoga which is apparently some kind of sign that I am obsessed with indians). I had never been near India until I met my partner. My point is (along with Rupa) is that it is still white racism that appears to be the problem don’t you think?
alana, for the most part, I agree with your sentiments but unfortunately it’s not a one way street in terms of racism.
In the Asian, sorry Indian, community in London there appears to be somewhat of an superiority complex amongst the middle classes and aspirational working classes.
They couldn’t imagine what horrors might transpire if, God forbid, their little Jatti Princesses (that’s a land-owning caste in Punjab) were to marry off into families with roots in other South Asian countries, let leave of other races.
Yes, and I have experienced this attitude first hand unfortunately (although certain of my in-laws are quite pleased we will have light-skinned offspring – which is a whole uncomfortable ball-game in itself!). However, having said that, I am of the belief that institutional state racism is more important than individual prejudice which, while hateful on an individual level, does not contribute to the gross inequalities of out society.
I had a facebook hate group, so me and my twin sister joined it, and then we invited all our friends, and the group banned us all. It was really sad. I did enjoy it for all of two hours.
Chicken and egg situation, though, eh?
Individual prejudices can be stoked to the degree that they in themselves give rise to institutional state racism which can of course in turn create inequalities in society.
It happened in India not all that long ago.
Don’t get mad, get laid!
Very sound advice and there is nothing racist about “Having a thing for Asian guys”. Is there a demo against the BNP outside the London Assembly building tomorrow? What do you think about them getting in?
Surely Asian girls go out with black guys because they want to fuck them? That’s also why they go out with brown and white ones. Doesn’t everybody want to fuck everybody else? How can anyone NOT find a beautiful black, white, yellow or brown person fuckable? Now that would be what I would call unnatural.
And Sunny, I would be careful: “reverse colonialism” sounds like the sort of thing that could get you arrested in some countries.
No, Don, those dirty looks like by asian girls with a kaleh or goreh partner are to any asian guy who walks passed them, i have seen it firt hand and many others.
*devils advocate* Maybe it’s in part rebellion? The only thing worse for some Asian girls to bring home than a Muslim bf is a black one…
RaZor:
What are you talking about?
Why would they look at you if they’re with another guy?
If that happened to me I’d assume she fancied me and hit on her in front of her companion: 9 times out of 10 they’re just friends… you try it next time…
raZor: “Asian girls who go out with kaleh tend to do it either for the “the image” of going with a black guy and purposely giving a bad name to the rest of community.”
Hate to break it to you raZor, but the community’s ‘name’ gets a little bit *better* every time the rest of society sees a mixed race couple.
RaZor,
‘kaleh or goreh’
Speak bloody English.
ally:
How so?
Do I have to start dating girls who are white or black to up my own status now?
It’s all very well adopting this hippy, free love mentality about mixed relationships, and it’s a good thing that some people are able to do that.
However (and I think Ruth Fowler simply doesn’t know or care enough about it to feature it prominently in her writing) that is not the reality for a great many couples out there.
Thankfully only a small minority of people are acquainted with the nuances of Post-Colonialism as an academic, lefty discipline. For most orinary mixed/Asian couples there is only the realpolitik of having to negotiate hostile waters together.
Mixed relationships put some people in real danger. Jack and Zena Briggs are just the ones who got to write a book abut it. Of course it’s not that difficult for everyone, but putting on the sunshades and saying ‘chill, yaar’ is not getting anywhere near to confronting the very widespread prejudices that blight mixed relationships in the UK every day.
In fact it’s possible to see it as a nervous attempt to deflect from the real issues…
Good for Ruth Fowler for blowing open the debate, but a shame she didn’t tackle head-on the issues that contributed to “the most peculiar and screwed-up relationship [she has] ever had”.
No doubt that multiracial/multicultural realtionships are full of difficulties…
Found an interesting blog about the life experiences of a white woman married to an Indian guy…
http://colorblindcupid.wordpress.com/?s=colorblindcupid
nb obviously i support anyone having a relationship with whomever they want, and understand that ‘multiracial’ relationships can encourage each partner to explore the others identity and in doing so strengthen the bond, or those differences can drive people apart. As with everything in life it depends on the individuals.
Don,
Kaleh and goreh is the transliteration into English from Hindi of black and white. In the Syhleti dialect spoken by most Bangladeshis in this country it’s Kala and shada, sorry, I thought everyone here would have known that.
I’m glad I gave that link to the Huque article because nearly everyone here seems to think it was the load of old rubbish I did. It is also typical of the Guardian to dig up another complete nobody to trot out the PC line that it is still pursuing even though all sane people have abandoned it.
I think there is a slight hint of desperation in articles like these. For thirty years the Rupa Huques of the world got jobs in the CRE and the related race relations industry. They set up equality and diversity consultancies and got lucrative contracts from central and local government to find racism. Where it didn’t exist they invented it.
We now have institutional/unconscious/subliminal/unwitting and any other kind of racism you can think of. I even came across something called Post Traumatic Slavery Disorder to explain high crime rates amongst African Caribbean males! As always it was imported from the States.
What I have also found with the practitioners of this voodoo is that when confronted they back off. You may get a response from Rupa Huque but don’t hold your breath. She should have taken a bit of advice a mate of mine gave to Lee Jasper a few years ago, “always engage brain before opening mouth”. I think there is something outside City Hall this evening, there was an article in the Morning Star yesterday.
Asian Girls been picking outside our tribal sphere for too long mans. I also seen Asian GUYS with Black GUYS – man whats happening to our PureBlood system???!
RaZor you, me and the Bow Creek Massive gotta stand up for our race and shit man – better get on the phone and get them rishtas lined up pronto pronto.
Remember kids – God doesn’t take kindly to defection.
Do I have to start dating girls who are white or black to up my own status now?
Bang ‘em but don’t marry ‘em brovs.
heh good title for the post! good one sunny.
trust person no. 2 to come out with the usual line! “bad name for the Community” whilst waggling the head. “Vat is wrong with these girls! they will have even more kala babies”
how boring
“how boring”
i agree with this
anyway its not like sunny was saying that there are no issues or prejudices people have to navigate. obviously there is and presumably why more people are held back from potential relationships. but you ain’t going to get over such issues if there isn’t spotlight on the fact that people are having “mixed” relationships ( what a term! sounds like its inter-species or something) and not ‘hiding’ it away – like so many of our elders have tried to do. you can only do that for so long.
I fuck anyone that I find fuckable and that’s happy for me to fuck them
I don’t ask where their parents grew up
Kinda kills the mood
Seems an appropriate time to mention the death of Mildred Loving a few days ago.
O who gives a monkeys! I’m somewhat awestruck by the contours/curvatures of RuthF[owler]’s/Mimi’s physique. Makes one rise up like an ambitious geometrician.
Kismet @ 32
“kinda kills the mood”
yeah, I agree with on that.
Sex with women of Indian subcontinent origin feels like incest.
Don, nah i am proud of my culture and language, i can see goreh or kaleh if i wish.
i can say*
RaZor_ramone:
It is not an attack on your culture, it is just that some of us do not understand what those words mean.
oh ok, fair enough.
billericaydicky
‘In the Syhleti dialect spoken by most Bangladeshis in this country it’s Kala and shada’
I think you meant the Sylheti LANGUAGE. Sylheti is a distinct spoken language from Bengali, with it’s own written form (albeit no longer widely used for political reasons). It is preferred amongst our ethnic group.
Regarding marrying outside ones own ‘Deshi’ group viz race/religion, I think it says something that most such relationships do not end in marriage. It is also twice as hard for a woman to marry out since women are the vessels of honour ‘izzoth,’ for family and community. Women who have relationships or enter into marriage with a partner outside their tightly-defined groups are widely perceived to be ‘soiled’. This is not necessarily true for an asian guy.
Hi there. Yeah, whatever. It’s not funny, big or clever to lay into someone into someone in such an unsisterly way but I guess that is what a commissioned “response article” to another post is meant to do. Ruth, if you’re looking in, nothing personal, honest. Still it’s better to be talked about than not talked about and the response piece is still in the top 3 most commented this morning unbelievably
Anyay why aren’t people commenting on this:
http://commentisfree.guardian.co.uk/rupa_huq/2008/05/the_sound_of_the_suburbs.html
Far more interesting in my opinion and subject of my next book.
“Don, nah i am proud of my culture and language, i can see goreh or kaleh if i wish.”
No you can’t.
A twatty equation you’ve got going there. National pride = justifiable racism towards others.
Bravo.
I’d no idea that Georgina Hendry would commission articles simply to fuel controversy.
What fun!
It explains Madeleine Buntings protected status as an idiot paid to write.
It does not justify your collusion in it.
Frankly, Ms Huq, I’d have expected better of you…
There seems to be a trend, OK a small talk, of CiF commentators coming here and trying to justify themselves. I’d have thought, correct me if I am wrong, that PP commentators are a lot more savvy than our equivalent on CiF.
Never done it with a brown girl…what’s it like?
No more smelling of curry in the fanny than your average Essex blonde
Same as it’s like with white girls. Biologically the same and everyfing innit. They don’t have their body parts in a different place or anything. Although I have heard that black women have tails.
To be honest, I find ethnic fetishisation boring, and the generalisations made even more strange. Ascribing traits and preferences to indivdiuals by dint of their racial background is a little lame.
Oh surely, there are some traits you cant deny…like Asian girls are said to be very conservative (and boring?) in bed. Talking about sex is a big taboo in most Asian households and girls grow up thinking it is not natural outside marriage. I’ve had white, black, Latin and Chinese girlfriends (some of them very teporary), but never managed to lay an Asian bird. And guess what? I am Asian myself.
Pakistani girls are vipers in the bedroom.
Hermees
Chinese girls are Asian.
Well Hermes, maybe they just don’t fancy ya? Ever think it could be you, with all your Mr Super Ethnic Loverman bragaddacio, notching up girls on your ethnic bedpost, your lame stereotyping, your looks, or your smell? That’s probably what it is, Don Juan.
ps: most guys who boast about their long list of lovers are liars. The true studs are discreet.
“I’ve known Asian girls with a preference for black guys because they saw them as more virile and women with a preference for white guys because they came without the cultural baggage.”
Is this really, really necessary to say? And are you sure that you are not mistakingly type-casting women whom you know? For example, did those women straight out tell you that date black men because they are virile, and white guys because they come sans-luggage? If they did, they are incredibly immature, and superficial.
BTW, as an “Asian women” I find some of the comments incredibly offensive (like the one above #47)). As a human being, I find the references to black men, Latinos, and every other race mentioned both in the post and in the comments section very offensive as well.
Mohammed, peace be upon you:
“Sex with women of Indian subcontinent origin feels like incest.”
Which is why you may never have the luxury and good opportunity to meet and spend time with a bright, lovely, individualistic, and strong Desi woman who doesn’t see Desi men the way you have in your comment regarding Desi women.
Too bad for you
Well said Desi Italiana.
“Why do Asian girls go out with black guys?”
Honestly, who the eff cares? Are Desi women to be studied?
Sunny, please do a post on, “Why do men care so much about the dating patterns of Asian women?”
And then, please do another post which asks, “Why do Desi men not romantically like Desi women?” [tongue in cheek]
Desi Italiana, I think you’ll find this post was inspired by a white woman writing a post about how she’s got a thing for Asian men.
Suzi, do you want to find out if I am a stud or not?
Suzy, do you want to find out if I am a stud or not?
I mean I think, at least I hope, there was some irony involved, although its very difficult to tell with some men, what they are trying to say, especially on the internet.
Hermes, post a link to a picture of yourself here so that I can judge.
Stays silent
“On the latter, I think white people are getting the hang of it – its the brown people who are more guilty of perpetuating it.”
Seriously, what is this generalizing? White people “getting the hang of it” and browns not? There are millions and millions of white people. How can one say such a thing?
Also, if I were a black guy reading this, I’d say that some racist stereotypes are being played out here.
I’m sorry if I’m flying off the handle, but still. It really irritates me that people are being grouped by race (race, BTW, is a social construct and doesn’t really exist except in our heads) in a discussion on love and sex. Volatile mix, this.
Suzy:
“Desi Italiana, I think you’ll find this post was inspired by a white woman writing a post about how she’s got a thing for Asian men.”
Yes, I know this. It doesn’t take away from what Sunny wrote in his post, which are his own words, and not Ruth what’s-her-face.
Well I agree with you, as I said earlier, some of the comments and some of the original post is extremely crude and vulgar. It’s actually hilarious when minorities project the stereotypes people have about them onto each other, especially in relations between the genders. I think the whole thing is mixed in with the old perennial — ethnic self loathing, too.
By the way Desi Italiana, will you please behave yourself, you’re not behaving as a submissive, supine, exotic dusky beauty is meant to behave.
You should have done in the first place.
haha. I love seeing women kick shit into “bruvvers” and their clueless machismo.
Desi Italiana,
I agree, not just race, but actually everything around us is a social construct – we each choose to interpret it all through the layers of fucked-up filters in our minds. Many remain on the surface and never recognise these filters…sorry got carried away in deep stuff here, not like a stud that I’m supposed to be!!
And sane…
Desi – if you read the piece, the title was a parody of what Asian guys used to say on my forum!!!!!
Suzy – I’m intrigued, where do you get an ethnic bedpost?? haha!
and douggie, whatever you do – do not cuss Georgina or Madeleine on my blog please! Both are lovely and I will not hear a bad word despite your high blood pressure on CIF.
“Desi – if you read the piece, the title was a parody of what Asian guys used to say on my forum!!!!!”
Fair enough, but you didn’t address phrases of yours that I quoted and took issue with.
Sorry guys, nothing to do with this thread, but how do you get some of the lettering to appear in red in some of these posts?
Suzy:
“By the way Desi Italiana, will you please behave yourself, you’re not behaving as a submissive, supine, exotic dusky beauty is meant to behave.”
Yes, yes, sorry. I apologize for speaking my mind. I should behave properly, like a nice bhen, so that peeps like Muhammad (pbuh) will shirk to have any relations with us Asian women.
This “Asian women” are like this and that, and that sleeping with them is like sleeping with your sister are patriarchal attitudes to make sure that we “Asian women” are imprisoned in our own sexuality. Strip us of our sexuality, and we are not the women to get romantically involved with. If we’re sexual, then we are sexually hyper and seek out black men to fulfill us. This is a classic ploy of schizophrenically polarizing women from one end to the other to fit male attitudes and desires: de-sexualized sister or big time whore.
What is wrong with you “Asian men”? What do you want from us? Just leave us alone, goddammit!
Hermes:
It involves typing in the HTML code:
http://www.arachnoid.com/lutusp/html_tutor.html
No wonder some women want to kill men.
What do you want from us?
I see that you are using the royal ‘us’.
In doing so, you are lumping all ‘Asian women’ in your basket; which would mean that all ‘Asian women’ are self-loathing psychopaths.
Black men arent as uptight as other men.
Asian men don’t know anything about sex and are culturally indisposed to learn.
heh heh..!
Big Avram/Muzumdar:
“In doing so, you are lumping all ‘Asian women’ in your basket; which would mean that all ‘Asian women’ are self-loathing psychopaths.”
Yes, of course. I am a self-loathing psychopath, and I hope that came across in my comments.
English girls theyre so prissy
I cant stand them on the telephone
Sometimes I take the receiver off the hook
I dont want them to ever call at all
White girls theyre pretty funny
Sometimes they drive me mad
Black girls just wanna get fucked all night
I just dont have that much jam
Chinese girls are so gentle
Theyre really such a tease
You never know quite what theyre cookin
Inside those silky sleeves
- Some Girls – Rolling Stones
Asian girls? You mean South Asian, right?. I am one but neither Punjabi, Bengali or Guju – the big communities.
I am South Indian (I won’t specify further) – is there room for us South Indians in this discussion?
No banal generalisations please – South Asians are hugely diverse and their social life and attitudes are coloured by narrow community mores, language & religion. Those of us who are neither Hindu or Muslim can sport quite a different world view. There is more to life than Bhangra, Meera Syal & Bhasker, you know.
And we shouldn’t look down upon the blacks – Sid’s verses were quite rude. Why quote Rolling Stones crap? Are they the last word in culture?
Suzy @ 46 “fetishisation”…Yeah I think it’s boring too. It’s the most boring thing of all for people like myself who have other things to think about. And not only is it boring, it’s also gross, since it trivialises and reduces the other half into an object. Women, regardless of their background, possess more depth than the colour of their skin.
Suzy @ 49 “most guys who boast about their long list of lovers are liars. The true studs are discreet.” Keeping schtum in this case.
Desi @ 50
Asian women are sexually attractive…there was someone called Kirpal in East London, I found her very hot and interesting, and as a 17/18 yrs old I couldn’t perk up the courage to say it out loud that I fancied the pants off her. 
) I believe she became a teacher (a very good profession).
I know, I know. Well, even the prettiest individualistic and intelligent ones make me think of either my mother, or my cousins, or my nieces. I just wonder if any other “Asian” men feel that way? Please don’t think that’s somehow de-sexualising “Asian women”. Vibrant gene pool is what I’m thinking of…
Desi @ 69
LOL. Who said anything about shirking?
Sid @ 74
That’s a bit of generalisation. Isn’t it?
Why quote Rolling Stones crap? Are they the last word in culture?
yes.
That’s a bit of generalisation. Isn’t it?
yes.
oh man… a brother can’t win. I think sonia’s the only one who got my joke
Ros said: There is more to life than Bhangra, Meera Syal & Bhasker, you know.
I disagree. There is nothing more to life than some drunk ass bhangra. Bwaaahh!
Muhammad pbuy:
“I know, I know. Well, even the prettiest individualistic and intelligent ones make me think of either my mother, or my cousins, or my nieces.”
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Excuses, excuses, excuses
Sunny:
“oh man… a brother can’t win.”
No, he can’t.
“Please don’t think that’s somehow de-sexualising “Asian women”.”
It is de-sexualizing women.
Sid #80, you sound annoyed. Cool it, man. We are not talking high philosophy.
Asked whether a Rolling Stones verse is the last word in culture, you just say; “Yes”
Why?
Ros, are you one of those humourless feminists? Or just humourless?
Ros – don’t mind Sid – his bark is worse than his bite.
If you’re from the South, you have to fill a lady called Mirax’s shoes – she gave Sunny a hard time if I recall.
justforfun
Sid#86 Sorry I don’t see the connection.
I asked a straight question and you evade it.
Why?
because i was using irony?
the ‘Some Girls’ song was posted because it’s typical of men objectifying women. sorry if i didn’t contextualise it enough. my bad if you thought i was posting it to show i related to it. and more apologies if you thought “yes” was me “sounding annoyed”. i’m was not annoyed in the slightest. however, i’m very bored now because nothing kills a joke than having to explain it…
Has there ever been a post on the sexual politics of Desi guys?
good point Desi.
i miss mirax!
Dear Sid – point taken
You are forgiven.
sorry but this article is silly. if you were gonna talk about a ’sensitive’ issue like asian girls dating black guys then you could at least talk about THAT rather than relegate it to one barely thought out throwaway sentence at the end, esp when you know that the mere mention of black/asian relationships (on both sides of the gender divide) can provoke not esp nice reactions from both communities.
but as for your other points – yeah white people are getting it MORE right than before, but not ALL white people, not the majority, lets be real. maybe in the lefty right on circles you move in, yeah, but the average white person doesnt know much about the differences.
i didnt think the original article about liking asian guys was offensive at all – it was quite honest, without any of the stereotypical ill thought rubbish i might have expected. the answerback CIF blog however i thought WAS pretty pathetic – just an excuse to cause a bit of fracas, and attempt to correct something that didnt even need much correcting with stuff that didnt even seem that related to the original article! bizzare. just seemed like someone needing attention. im all for going against stereotyping, but equal nitpicking is stupid. and it seems like another case of asians trying to distance themselves from each other (aka i dont want to be associated with such and such south asian group).
lastly the idea that black/brown guys dating white girls could never have a reverse colonial angle seems a bit naive.
Dear Ros, thanks, you’re too sweet.
Desi, go ahead and write one!
I wouldn’t write something like that because I know that “Asian men” can’t be lumped all together, just like Asian women can’t.
Good one. Anyhow, the interesting thing that comes out of all this is precisely the viewpoint that ‘women’ as a lump are the “property” of some group or other and if that view is present, then who any individual romantically links up with – seems to be open for general scrutiny/condemnation/etc. as if it were any one’s business. Which of course many individuals in many groups appear to think it is.
It seems to apply to men of course too, in some instances.
I have personally had an experience with dating an Asian woman and have a Blasian child. I myself am an Afro-American man and well educated with great values. I am deeply disturbed that such shallow remarks are made addressing ethnicity, race, culture, and morals. Especialy when we(Human beings)as a people are obligated to accept each other for who we are and not what the media, myth, and rumor may have contributed to. I am sure that the shallow remarks that were made were made from those who do not know anything about the Afro-American race nor do they know anything or little about the Cucasian culture. I do appreciate the Asian culture, and traditional values that Asian families still employ and believe in, but as we all know and have to accept, we are now embarking into a new millennium and the race for power, technology, and westernization in countries where there hasn’t been a need before now exisist. White(Caucasian)man and Black (Afro-American) man have never been accepted before in these so called countries. However, the cucasian male is much more accepted than the Afro-American male! It’s really ignorance, and or the lack of knowledge which is really the problem with this world in which we live in. The Asians want our(American) technology, money, and culture/lifestyle, but are still fighting a battle within their own culture. There are those who are older Asians that do not believe in mixing their ethnicity with another, and there is the younger Asians who are earger for change! These stereotypes are here as well as in China, Japan, Taiwan, etc. Please understand that I have have been across seas and I have seen the prejudice and the racial profiling from my own eyes. So for those who are just making comments about race and moral values, please take a minute and check you own values and retrace your heritage.
Ruth has a few sexual fantasies, what’s the big deal?
I read some stuff a while ago by bell hooks on sexual fantasies and colonial desire but it all got a bit serious.
Why do Asian girls like black guys? They can dance better? And white boys can’t dance (Asian boys can ’sometimes’). And I am guessing men that play on the net probably are not er.. that comfortable dancing.
And people stupidly see dancing to be the same as being sexually competent.
Desi
i guess your head must be swirling from this discussion … terribly erudite .
I don’t know many Asian girls that go out with black men.
Stating the obvious here but South Asian communities are straight up racist about it. We can’t even handle our own ‘dark’ skinned complexions, let alone accept it in others.
because we are human beings made in God’s image.
because we are human beings like everyone else.
she wasnt being patronising, mrs huq clearly got really jealous da dumb hoe,asian girls are hoes if they wana fuk niggas n fuk der lives up den let da dogs do dat n crawl back crying for forgivness,all girls are like dat,you get white hoes you get black hoes women are here for sex and making porn