A guide to Premier League-speak for foreigners


by Rumbold
27th March, 2008 at 4:25 pm    

With the saga of Liverpool midfielder Javier Mascherano’s sending off for repeated verbal abuse showing no signs of abating, it seems to me that we need to devise a dictionary for those unfamiliar with the language of this frankly baffling league, as people struggle to understand why hurling abuse at the referee on a number of occasions could warrant a yellow card. Submissions are welcome. The guide so far:

1 He is just a passionate player.

Phrase used when a manager is explaining why a player has been sent off for a bad tackle or for verbally abusing the referee.

2 He’s gone down too easily there. Shameful.

What commentators say when a foreign player dives.

3 He’s done well to win a penalty for his team.

What commentators say when an English player dives.

4 He’s put his controversial past behind him and is performing consistently.

The player was arrested on suspicion of rape/GBH/drink driving/stealing toilet seats, but not recently.

5 He is a combative player.

He breaks people’s legs.

6 He just does not know how to tackle.

What commentators say when Paul Scholes does a brutal tackle.

7 I am currently in contact talks with the club.

The club is offering me an obscene amount of money, but I want even more.


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  1. Jazz — on 27th March, 2008 at 5:13 pm  

    Mascherano isn’t a dirty player and he’s the first Liverpool player to be sent off in the league all season. He just momentarily lost his rag. The sight of Alex Ferguson moralising on dissent was the most hilarious thing I’ve ever seen. This red-faced bully has spent his entire life abusing and bashing and bullying and intimidating referees, and his teams have reflected that, from Keane to Rooney, a bigger bunch of ranting, swearing, raving, cussing lunatics you’ll never find in English football. Why hasn’t rooney ever been sent off for his dissent and abuse? Amazing.

  2. ZinZin — on 27th March, 2008 at 7:05 pm  

    8 Canny
    Scottish

  3. ZinZin — on 27th March, 2008 at 7:07 pm  

    9 He will have to get used to that

    English player fouls foreign player

    10 A side of the game we don’t want to see

    Foreign player fouls English player

  4. Rumbold — on 27th March, 2008 at 7:52 pm  

    “Canny
    Scottish”

    Ha ha ha.

  5. Sajn — on 27th March, 2008 at 10:41 pm  

    Jazz did you happen to notice Mascherano tackle Alliadierre the previous week? How did he get away with it and Alliadierre get sent off? He obviously thought he could carry on getting away with it.

  6. Jazz — on 28th March, 2008 at 2:37 am  

    Get away with what? Mascherano was sent off for ‘dissent’ after asking why Torres got booked for asking for protection after getting kicked off the park by Ferdinand and Vidic. He was sent off to compensate for the farce with Cole and Riley at Stamford Bridge, and his lip was no worse than what Rooney and a million other players get up to every week.

  7. zubeda — on 28th March, 2008 at 11:27 am  

    Comment 8 -There’s not enough chewing gum in that mouth.

  8. David — on 28th March, 2008 at 2:18 pm  

    11. He has a natural rhythm.

    - they’re talking about a non-white player

    12. If he was in the England team he’d be far better

    - He’s Welsh/Scottish/Irish

    13. He’s a luxury player

    - he can actually play football without kicking people to death

    14. He doesn’t understand the English game

    - he doesn’t go out and get pissed in Essex nightclubs/roast 16 year old girls/eat kebabs and chips

  9. Piggy — on 28th March, 2008 at 7:16 pm  

    15 He works hard

    - he’s not very good but he runs around a lot (generally used to describe Dirk Kuyt)

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