‘Honour’ killing in the white community
A man has been convicted of murdering his son in cold blood. Christopher Hawkins did so in order to punish his wife, who had been having an affair:
“He was also convicted of attempting to murder his daughter Donna, 14. Mr Justice Wilkie said Hawkins had killed Ryan as “a cold-hearted vehicle to avenge his wife’s affair”. The judge told Hawkins: “A more horrific crime it is hard to imagine than savagely and repeatedly to stab your young son who, in his agony, had to try to fend off blows from one of the people he was most entitled to expect love and affection.
“Although to this court, and after the event, you profess great love for Ryan and mourned his passing, in my judgment… these were crocodile tears.” Judge Wilkie said he did not accept that Hawkins killed Ryan in a spontaneous attack. “I’m satisfied that you used him [Ryan] cold-heartedly as a vehicle for avenging yourself on your wife.” Hawkins and his wife had separated in May 2007. The sheet metal worker later discovered that she had started an affair with taxi driver Lee Tinker, while they were still living together.”
Why was this an ‘honour’ killing? Well, the son was specifically targeted as a way of punishing the wife for transgressing what the murderer saw as acceptable behaviour. I do think that the cold blooded aspect is also important, as many ‘honour’ killings are planned methodically before being carried out, unlike what one might term ‘crimes of passion’. The title of this piece is deliberately provocative, in order to show that this sort of behaviour can happen in any community (with the caveat that it happens more amongst British Asians). I also wanted to show that, once again, stereotyping whole groups serves little purpose when discussing issues like these.
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Filed in: Cultural Relativism
What a twisted argument, Rumbold. It is called revenge, petty cruel revenge. To be classified as ‘honour killing’ you need to prove that he did it to restore his “honour” or social standing in his community. The term is abused even in the context of Asian communities, and it doesn’t help if you keep propagating it in the wrong context.
Ravi Naik:
But what about restoring honour in his own eyes? I take your point that many ‘honour’ killings are done to restore stadning in the community, but that doesn’t mean that is the only reason.
It could be termed a crime of passion.
Ravi, regardless of culture a cuckolded man will be aware of what society (mostly other men) thinks. Therefore aspects of ‘honour’ does come into the equation.
Rumbold, good piece.
Glad to see someone who has a rounded understanding of human existence and interaction.
By my definition it is not a so-called ‘honour’ killing unless there is evidence of familial collusion or tacit approval from the community. Male dominance and possessive attitudes are of course common to all societies, that is not in question. The actual, practical problem is: how do we protect women, girls and men not merely from one one potential aggressor who percieves theat they have a right to murder based on a sexual relationship, but how do we protect women, girls and men from an organised conspiracy of close and extended family who beleive they have a right to murder based on their familial relationship.
That is why the category of ‘honour’ killing is necessary, to ensure that the correct level of protection is provided to girls at risk and that is why we must be careful not to lose sight of this important aspect.
Hmmm I’m not sure about stretching the term ‘honour’ killing like this either…
I can’t see this as an ‘honour’ killing, unless he believed that his ‘community’ or peer group would give at least a measure of approval.
It’s just spite.
From Hurriyet. The problem I think is the term itself: ‘honour’ killing, like ‘passion’ puts too much emphasis on the feelings and motivations of the criminal, whereas the focus needs to be on the systemic aspects behind different cultural manifestations of male violence.
Good points from Galloise.
its the wider societal egging on/tacit approval that’s the problem that makes ‘honour killings’ so difficult and problematic. (of course human existence and crimes can be called anything one likes, revenge, passion whatever, etc. etc. its a matter of nomenclature. what’s significant are the dynamics.)
GB
Your last post gets closer to my view on the matter.
‘The problem I think is the term itself: ‘honour’ killing, like ‘passion’ puts too much emphasis on the feelings and motivations of the criminal, whereas the focus needs to be on the systemic aspects behind different cultural manifestations of male violence.’
The word ‘cuckold’ shows that there is an honour element and that British society may have moved on or has got to the stage where neighbours don’t care or just accept it as gossip. It also links very nicely into how British society (and others) have seen neighbourhoods and communities become fluid where people move in and out on a regular basis. And that has accelerated over the last 30 years.
It’s not an honour killing. If anything it’s a twisted crime of passion. Here’s a story out today that is perhaps is a little more relevant:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/7280970.stm
Over 30 children from Bradford are “missing, presumed married”. I hope that the families they have gone missing from will be subject to the same level of scrutiny as any members of your “white community” whose youngsters disappeared, and will be prosecuted accordingly if they have broken UK laws.
Another aspect is of course how often people leave one partner for another. And when this sort of thing leaves no family untouched, then there is really not many who could ‘cast the first stone’.
In a nutshell, its not clear whether neighbours have become more ‘enlightened’ or just aren’t bothered.
One more thing, and I am not sure whether this has come out in the case, is the question of whether the ‘father’ had doubts over the parentage of the children. Do modern fathers retain such primeval concerns? A callous thought – or is it something that gets overlooked?
Honour killings are related to things like pride, ‘izzat’ and shame in the community. The motive is to clear the ’shame’ that that the victims actions may have caused to the family. Its external. There is a cultural context here but it ultimately boils down to an individual’s understanding of those terms and how far they will go to uphold their misplaced sense of pride.
It doesn’t always end in murder, there could be social ostracization and shame, there is an element of community here.
This on the other hand is an isolated, individual inexplicable action. A criminal act with no sense of social acceptance/sanction or elements of shame as driving motives.
good points Raul, especially about social ostracisation. looks like this bloke is more likely to be ostracised because of the killing, whereas if he hadn’t, and divorced his wife, had an affair himself, would be in for far less ostracization.
nice try Rumbold.
Thanks Refresh.
On reflection, I was wrong to label it an ‘honour’ killing, since as people have said, an ‘honour’ killing normally involves murdering in order to satisfy the ‘community’, rather than an act of mere revenge. Having said that though, this murder did display aspects of an ‘honour’ killing, not least in the way that the killer murdered his son as a way of punishing his wife- it was not a spontaneous act of violence.
I have a suggestion, given that Pickled Politics and it’s crew of ‘wannnabe whites’ delights in highlighting culture-specific issues of injustice to women. Someone ought to highlight the plight of young teenage (mostly white) girls who suffer from eating disorders and meet their deaths trying to conform to the ideal image of women arbitrarily arrived at by the beauty/image industry and media and largely bought into by most ordinary white folk (led by the men). I understand that annually more women suffer/die from eatin g disorders than forced marriage. Now there is an issue to get your teeth into.
Rumbold, good to see you’ve taken back defining this crime as an honour killing. While I’m a firm believer in human nature, that doesn’t mean that ‘bad’ cultural norms can’t lead to more evil than would otherwise happen.
As Don said, honour killings are usually done with preparation and the tacit or explicit acceptance of the community.
Ashik, you are right to point out that not so good cultural norms exist in western society as well although I don’t think its right to equate eating disorders with forced marriage. If anything, maybe you should equate the numbers of eating disorders and say death to diabetes in the asian community.
By my definition it is not a so-called ‘honour’ killing unless there is evidence of familial collusion or tacit approval from the community.
I’d agree. That killing is wierd and shocking, which things from your own culture can’t be, more or less by definition.
I think a better example of a honour killing analog in anglo culture would be killing someone for the life insurance money.
That happens, and often enough it’s probably the first thought of the first copper on the scene. It wouldn’t happen without a specific western social institution (life insurance), and there will be some level of community tolerance that you wouldn’t see for comparable crimes with different motives. You can probably find a sub-culture that will sympathise, joke about it, even help out (for a split).
Some kind of changes to laws and institutions might well reduce it.
It’s not a perfect match, but the differences are more of degree than principle. You could imagine a (probably poor) society where life insurance killings were as endemic as honour killings in Jordan, or wherever.
wannabe whites ha ha. why should you assume that anyone would want to be ‘white’? you’re giving yourself and your inferiority complexes away Ashiq.
back to the point. actually statistically speaking, the biggest killer of women across the world is domestic violence. Anything that is a problem should be spoken about – its hardly a ‘focus on this OR that’ issue – i don’t know why you’re getting competitive about things. ( obviously Rumbold started that trend, but he does these things with good intentions) whilst you – as we have heard through your Sylhet obsession – are clearly obsessed with classifying and dividing. Ridiculous.
Good point Shariq.
Sonia dear, when it comes to classifying and dividing, veteran Picklers such as youself and friend Sid have been at it longer than I. There are plenty of threads on Sylhet/Dhaka/Bangladesh/Islam which lie in testimony. You really mustn’t think your experiences of culture/religion are definitive. They aren’t by a long shot. You weren’t born in the West. Please get over the ‘oppressed Asian women’ mode of thinking.
The cultural dimension of problems like forced marriage, Insurance claims and eating disorders need to be disentangled and handled with care. Don’t deny the cultural element but don’t let that aspect become the story or the headline. Hence tying this thread in by highlighting it as a ‘white’ problem has led to a lot of responses which h have nothing to do with the terrible thing this man did.
Ashiq sounds like a racist to me, as well as a ‘wannabe islamist’.
Rumbold
I would ask Hawkins friends and family for their views on this murder before calling it an “honour killing”.
Its not the first crime of its type, and it won’t be the last.
Boyo: couldn’t be further from the truth.
As I said: Don’t let the issue of culture overshadow the real issue of violnce against women, eating disorders etc.
This happens too often because PP membership is overly composed of that curious brand of Asian who feels totally insecure in their identity and feels the need to assimilate totally (unrealistic).
Ashik…who are “it’s crew of ‘wannabe whites’ exactly? this post was not about tying it in as a “white” problem, rather (rumbold please correct me if i am wrong), saying that these types of killings may also come under the term “honour killings” thus exploring the possibility of them not being exclusive to a particular community. Many of the commentators have explained why this is not the case in their opinion.
“This happens too often because PP membership is overly composed of that curious brand of Asian who feels totally insecure in their identity and feels the need to assimilate totally (unrealistic).”
do you know any of us personally? no..so plz..enough of the bullshit and assumption based on your own prejudice.
Ashik:
We don’t ‘delight’ in talking about issues like forced marriages or female genital mutilation, but we think that they are important. By the way, not that it matters, but I am white.
Shariq:
I agree with you, which was why I acknowledged it in my original post. I was not for a moment trying to downplay ‘honour’ killings amongst British Asians, merely point out that the attitudes which lead to such killings (a loss of face etc.) aren’t confined to that group. In retrospect, it was a bad example to choose, as it did not really support my point very well.
ZinZin:
You mean literally ask them, or just find out what they think from a news source?
I wonder why assimilating totally is (unrealistic)? Surely most citizens of the UK, whatever their heritage, are “totally” assimilating in so much as they are representative of the modern UK, be they white, black, brown or yellow, Polish, Jewish or Bangladeshi.
All it takes is a loyalty to the country, a fellowship with their fellow citizens, and a respect for its laws, customs and institutions (even if they may want to change them within the legal, customary and democratic framework). Oh and speak English. That pretty much sums up every modern, totally assimilated British citizen, does it not – the vast majority, save for a few uppity twits.
‘do you know any of us personally? no..so plz..enough
Actually I do know a couple of ppl by repujtation in our community. Anyway, you can get a drift of the way someoone thinks by their contributions to discussions and Sonia’s (and others) paranoa can be tied in to her multitude of posts on the interlinking themes of identity on various discussions here.
My whole point is why certain communities should not be victimised by over emphasise on the cultural aspect. And ‘white community’ was used in the title itself.
Rumbold
Your being very provocative, but if your going to call it an honour killing then canvassing the views of the extended family is the only way to find out. I will allow a news source.
yeh obviously Ashik, everyone on pp is Asian?
‘I wonder why assimilating totally is (unrealistic)? Surely most citizens of the UK,’
It’s not about abstract stuff like citizenship & nationality. I’m as loyal to Britain as the next man/woman. Unlike Sonia/Sid, I don’t hanker for the ‘old country’ as I was born over here.
However, it’s the little one hundred and one everyday things.
Brit Asian we can do. But certain things will always be different.
Take for example the Extended Family thread on PP…a half dozen ppl wading in to totally diss it. Yet it is the dominant form of family relationship amongst Asians. Self effacing nature of that thread was embarrasing. PP simply doesn’t attract ppl who don’t renounce their own identity/culture totally.
Ashik…I don’t think they “hanker” after the old country…and i think your assumptions are just that with very little real basis…you take a few opinions on this and think you can label people.
Actually I do know a couple of ppl by repujtation in our community.
I know someone who knows someone who is a nodding aquaintance of someone who met someone who might have heard of Ashik by reputation as being a bit of a plonker.
ZinZin:
As I said in #15, I have changed my mind and no longer consider it an ‘honour’ killing. Even if I hadn’t changed my mind though, I am not sure whether or not it would be the family who defines what type of killing it was.
Ashik:
I think that one can be critical of the extended family without rejecting its benefits. I like the fact that many Asians look after their elderly relatives, rather then dumping them in nursing homes. But at the same time, there can be downsides to it.
‘like the fact that many Asians look after their elderly relatives, rather then dumping them in nursing homes’.
There ought to be a thread on this aspect. Then there would be some balance on this forum, no?
so basically to be a “proper” asian you’re supposed to take all the shit that comes with culture/religion or whatever?
Ashik:
Perhaps there will be at some point. But I don’t think that we have to balance every story about ‘honour’ killings or forced marriages with a British Asian good news story, because that just re-inforces the idea of a single homogenized community.
and you should go have a look in southall/wembley and harrow to see how many asian old ppl’s homes there are…just because you may not see that many doesn’t mean old ppl aren’t abused in asian households..it’s all hidden…and to think otherwise is naive
The way PP concentrates on and highlights certain issues it actually divorces itself from ordinary Asian people. PP then becomes a forum of Brit Asians looking in from the outside. That brings problems of it’s own. For example, one cannot begin to discuss the issue of honour killings if you begin with an inflammatory headline identifying certain ethnic groups.
The trouble is, by Ash’s reckoning it is impossible for anyone etc Queen Victoria to be assmiliated. What if you’re a Jew who goes to synagogue and has an overbearing mother with a penchant for chicken soup, or of Italian heritage with an extended family and Catholic guilt complex? But surely, people, we all watch Celebrity Come Dancing?!
what outside? so what’s the inside? how about on the fence? or even let’s integrate our ideas???
Ashik, I thought the extended family thread was pretty nuanced. Just because people pointed out some of the limitations of the extended family system doesn’t mean they were dissing it as a way of life.
Had he gone further he would have killed his whole family and himself making him a “Family Annihilator.” White folks are crazy sometimes but they dont have anything on Pakistanis.
and it’s crew of ‘wannnabe whites’
What do you mean wannabe? I am white, didn’t I tell you? Now fuck off and take your inferiority complex with you. We don’t need idiots telling us what we should blog about.
Oi Hundal, when can we expect your next lightweight rant about Muslims? Scrub scrub scrub, no matter how much soap you use an Asian ye shall remain little man.
Shariq: nuanced views on PP?! You are kidding, no?
To give an example of ‘expert opinions’ on this forum: Razib::
‘I would bet in non-familial societies the abnormal non-stupid is more likely to flourish to a far greater extent. now, granted, there are far fewer abnormal non-stupids than normal stupids in any society, but the familialist societies are really geared toward maintaining tard-satisfaction IMO’.
I’m no sociologist but using terminology like’ abnormal non stupid’ in a discussion doesn’t seem professional, rational and systematic to me. Sounds inflammatory. How does one define abnormal stupid?
Freshie Non Sylheti Bangali first-gen immigrants trying their darndest to be something their not? Of course, the fact most of these non Sylheti contributors on this site have family in BD rather than the UK would impact on their lifestyle and views, no?
How exactly is it PP only seems to attract such swine? Oh yeah, many of us Sylhetis still have some dignity. No soaping for us.
what a sad, curious rant.
None sadder than immigrants who cant let go ogf what they’ve (voluntarily) left behind.
Perhaps no sadder than nth generation children of immigrants who are dislocated conflicted about where their identity lies because they’re still mentally living in virtual versions of Sylheti villages transposed to English ghettoes.
26 – Sofia, well said.
Worried about taking the thread off-topic? What have you done with the Sonia we all know and love?
what is amusing is that Ashik seems to be really concerned about our “alleged” lifestyles/confusion – that is very touching of him isn’t it, but perhaps he need not worry so much about whatever existential crisis/angst someone else may or may not be going through. Also it amuses me that he seems to think freshie is some kind of insult and will have “us” crying out or something like that? but anyway i dont think any of his comments can apply to me, i am from bangladesh, so i dont think anyone can call me anything else but bangladeshi, don’t see why he assumes i am an ‘immigrant’ as well? why people have such old style views about global living, im not quite sure, but there you go. still, each to their own crises.
dont worry Rumbold, i was trying to be good
heh he didn’t last for long as you can see. You know what Rumbold, i was thinking maybe we should trial PP nights at the pub, whaddya think?
Sonia Bangladeshi? Only for the 2 yr probationary period before you get your Indefinate Leave to Remain (ILR) as a spouse darlin’. As I’m always advising clients, make sure you have the 20 odd pieces of documentary evidence the Home Office asks for to evidence Co-habitation.
Saves going through appeal.
sonia, I think we should convene at the Blind Beggar with these dislocated Bangladeshi nth generation types, for drinking games and recitations of Tagore and Hasan Raza.
does that make me non-bangladeshi ashiq?
i see you are in the game of defining for other people? that’s ok, i think you have enough problems of your own, but i dont mind, i do enjoy a bit of this game-playing and so carry on by all means. by the way, i am from Jessore, you should probably know that before you start on about the Dhaka crew. (assuming you actually know any geography about Bangladesh, that might make sense to you)
Can either of you please inform us when next your compatriots organise freshie immigrant Awami League v Bangladesh National Party violence on the streets of London? I’ve never seen a good ol’ style deshi dustup. Sonia can participate as a member of the womens section (equality n diversity n all).
dont worry ashiq, ill keep you informed if i hear anything.. but dont fret pet, i dont think you’ve missed too much. (you’d have to go to dhaka to see such bust-ups, and being around the ‘dhakaiyas’ might be too much for you eh? )I doubt anyone is bothering to have such bust-ups on the streets of London (that’s just about book burning right?
)
And absolutely, hard-core anarchist that i am, i love bust-ups..they’re great fun! If you hung with the indymedia crew, im sure you’d find a few here and there – mind you they wouldn’t be ‘desi’ bust-ups so you might feel a bit bereft, but you never know, stepping outside of comfort zones and all that.
Soon after the dreams of George Galloway and RESPECT Party saving your ghetto ass are completely dispelled.
besides..the bust-ups these days would be military vs. everybody else, so you should move with the times Ashiq.
and possibly you’ve never seen girls in riot action on the streets of bangladesh ashiq?
“Scrub scrub scrub, no matter how much soap you use an Asian ye shall remain little man.”
I told you he was a racist.
He also sounds like a legal beagle to me, with his talk of clients and Home Office. I’m with (Shakespeare’s) Henry IV on that one:
“The first thing we do, let’s kill all the lawyers.”
Kind of immoral of him to be insulting “freshies” when their business probably puts rice and curry on his table.
he’s clearly got a bee in his bonnet, ive no idea why..he seems to have it in for some reason for ‘freshies!’ heh.
boyo, that was a racist remark absolutely.
Speaking of moving with the times, have either of you heard of Labour, Lib Dems and the Conservatives. You know if one looks forward and not backwards and joins up with these groups one day they may work upwards to become elected councillors, assembly members and mp’s like the ever so benighted Sylhetis.
Dhakaiyas joining the MCB (our friend Dr. Bari) and various ‘cultural’ and ‘human rights’ groups really can’t hope for such upward mobility. Dunno, maybe Sonia can do a Faria Alam?
how do you know i haven’t done one already!
i am so beautiful and brown, and so confident with who i am, and you know how irrestible that is…
gosh ashiq you are a funny one, haven’t given up yet? you’ve just like dropped in on PP, do you know what the rest of us talk about while we’re around? you’ve gone on about Sylhet/Dhaka divide everytime you’ve been here, warbled on about drishtipat, i think its clear who’s obsessed. If you are having difficulty moving on, I have some phone no.s of organisations that might be able to help you. Working in the third sector has its advantages.
And why have you missed out the Green Party Ashiq? Don’t you know that they are a force to be reckoned with. Sian did a good job at the mayoral environment hustings – did you go to that? or are you not bothered with your home city enough?
Pack it in the lot of you. You guys are so boring.
Ugly gangs of plump awami leaguer girls battling with better looking bengi riot police. An unforgettable sight, bound to scar the mind for years.
Ashik, you should check out girl RAB. Easy with the Sylatian supremacy dude, its not very shah jalal.
you heard Refresh didn’t you?
Oh yeah, many of us Sylhetis still have some dignity. No soaping for us.
Go back to the village, you’ll find some idiots to agree with you.
He probably doesn’t have to since it’s a ghetto thang.
Go back to the villiage?
Solihull? Never thot of it as a village. lol
Sunny plz consult with the slum dwelling Dhakaiyas as to the correct terminology.
Solihull? Never thot of it as a village. lol
You know what they say, you can take a villager to the big city, but that doesn’t mean he/she stops being a villager.
pwned!
Better a villager than a soapy Asian.
You still scrubbing?
Ask Sid and Sonia for sum Fair & Lovely. They’ll know what it is.
Isn’t there a Income Support and Child Benefit forms for the council where your second council flat is, that you should be filling out for the children you don’t have?
Unlike you Sid I aint fathering a cricket team. Tis a pity the rest of us have to pay for your indulgence.
The real question for a skinflint Dhakaiya: is the Child Support actually going to support your brood…
Nutters, all of you. You too Sunny.
And snobs too. What’s wrong with the village?
There should be a blog in its own right showing the value of the village to the sub-continent. There is a campaign running in India to get rid of the sneering attitudes prevalent in city-dwellers where kids are being bussed out to the countryside so they can learn that if it wasn’t for the seriously hard graft of the villagers the cities would not survive a single day. IT revolutionaries or not.
Rise up oh villagers you have nothing to lose but the parasites that populate the cities.
Unlike you Sid I aint fathering a cricket team.
All the more Child Benefit for you then, eh? Doubt it will prevent you from indulging the old Benefit Fraud that your District is so famous for.
Sonia:
With no preview function, things could get ugly.
Refresh, Sunny and Sid reckon their village days behind them. The trail of soap remains.
Seriously tho, the urban-rural tension you mention is there throughout the subcontinent and even wider afield. In Turkey the rural drift to the cities and the consequent strain on housing and education, transport etc as well as identity issues has given rise to the electoral supremacy of Islam-light AKP party.
arent there some beans you should be counting?
PPs true colours shining bright as ever.
whereas yours are as dull as ever.
hobbit
ork
Rumbold, yes it could get ugly, but think what fun it could be as well..
Sonia:
If we could get Douglas Clark down for a wee dramm of whisky, that would be the icing on the cake.
80s pop
Perhaps we need a weekend thread people!
Oh stop whining Refresh, I’m enjoying needling this village idiot.
Better a villager than a soapy Asian.
You would say that wouldn’t you, is mummy still making your chapattis for you? Why not go sit back on your donkey and head back to the “brown brothers” so you can put up pictures of the nasty white man and throw darts at his head. That’s the only way to vent your frustration at the world leaving you behind isn’t it?
fugstar and ashik – the YMCA village boys.
has given rise to the electoral supremacy of Islam-light AKP party
maybe the politics classes in the village aren’t up to scratch. How about the drubbing the Islamist parties got in Pakistan?
But then, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is from the village isn’t he? And he remains an idiot, standing up for all the village idiots. Carry on, you’re funny!
Not whining – pointing out the absurdity of this thread (or as it has become).
But do have fun.
pointing out the absurdity of this thread
Well that started when the village idiot, and his mate fugstar, started accusing others of being “sellouts” again.
I’m only talking to stupid people in their own language. It’s not like he has any intelligent point to make other than: “Oh look, you don’t represent mainstream Asian/Sylheti/village opinion so you people are sellouts. Rah rah look at me I want some attention for my opinions.”
What’s this thread about?
Sunny boy
Don’t you get tired of accusing asians of every sin under the sun? If bloggers took you and pickled politics seriously theyd think that all asians ever do is engage in oppressing women and islamic fundamentalism.
Pakistan? What about palestine, algeria, jordan and syria. Whenever islamic parties win elections you pseudo liberal hypocrits start crying and support military response. and no, you’re a indian sikh, so you cant speak for sylhetis or muslims from experience. Thats a fact.
Urban dictionary definition of a Dhakaiya:
Dhakaiya
A somewhat derogatory definition coined by the British Bangladeshi diaspora community (hailing predminantly from the Greater Sylhet region of Bangladesh) to describe Non-Sylheti Bangladeshis from the other regions of the country, particularly the capital Dhaka.
In common usage ‘Dhakaiya’ describes recently arrived first generation Non-Sylhetis who are overly conscious of class, caste and prestige. Typically, Dhakaiyas have an over-inflated idea that they are better educated and ‘cultured’ than Sylhetis. This despite speaking ‘but-but’ Empire English circa 1945. Dhakaiyas also make great efforts to deny the Sylheti language it’s due respect and insist it is only a ‘colloquial dialect’.
Sociologists believe that this behaviour is in reaction to the fact that Sylhetis of the second and third generation tend to be comparatively well off and integrated into British society through their extended families. Thus creating insecurities for Dhakaiyas. In addition Sylhetis have created a vibrant Sylheti community in Britain, often unaccessable to Dhakaiyas. For example, ChannelS TV, Sylheti newspapers, mosques, community centres and airlines (Air Sylhet & Royal Bengal Tiger Airline).
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Dhakaiya
heh Dhaka people in this country get so paranoid. They can’t find themselves a position in the diaspora Bengalis in this country. so they get obsessive about maintainig a hypothetical bengali culture n lingo based around events of ‘71. They think coming from dhaka town where they drive second hand Toyota Corollas and go to theatres and join these useless corrupt parties makes them exprerts on bengali people. Most of who regardless of region have nothing to do with them,
very interesting all these anecdotes.
p.s. thara it’s most interesting that there are people out there who think the term dhakaiya was coined by british bangladeshis. its an interesting link to find out more about the context of the usage here in england amongst people here. ( very revealing too – explains why people insisting they’re not actually from dhaka at all falls on deaf ears!)
But there are other contexts dating way back – perhaps i should point out that there is usage of the term dhakaiya e.g. ‘dhakaiya kutti’ dating back to the 16th/17th century, referring to a specific group of people who started living in dhaka as it was then, and the dialect that sprang up with said group. and other more recent uses of the term dhakaiya to refer to general colloquialisms that dhaka youth use etc. etc.
so umm..i understand the specific usage here in england, hence the entry in the ‘urban’ dictionary for current youth lingo, but it’s hardly been ‘coined’ – “appropriated” would be more accurate.