Damn these Filipino Monkeys


by Sunny
14th January, 2008 at 8:06 pm    

I always wanted to write an absurd headline like that. Now I have an excuse. It turns out that ‘Filipino Monkey’, a heckling radio ham who harasses patrols boats in the Persian Gulf, may be responsible for the recent stand-off between the USA and Iran.

The US navy came within seconds of firing at the Iranian speedboats in the Strait of Hormuz on January 6 after hearing threats that the boats were attacking and were about to explode. Senior navy officials have admitted that the source of the threats, picked up in international waters, was a mystery.

And now the US navy’s journal, Navy Times, has claimed that the threats, which were broadcast last week by the Pentagon, are thought to have come from an infamous radio prankster. It said the Filipino Monkey, who could be more than one person, listens to ship-to-ship radio traffic and then interrupts, usually with abusive insults. Rick Hoffman, a retired captain, told the paper: “For 25 years, there’s been this mythical guy out there who, hour after hour, shouts obscenities and threats. He used to go all night long. The guy is crazy.

“Could it have been a spurious transmission? Absolutely.”

This is rather worrying… the US Navy could have started a local war that could have escalated into something bigger on the back of some unknown broadcast. And then we had President Buch calling it “highly provocative” without any actual evidence that it was.

(you still can’t comment on stories unfortunately)


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  1. Filipino Monkey

    [...] Damn these Filipino Monkeys [...]




  1. pounce — on 17th January, 2008 at 3:45 am  

    Strange story this.
    But I’m afraid I cannot commit to the American Aggression bit in this case.
    The facts remain nobody in their right mind buzzes an American warship (never mind 3) in a speedboat after the USS Cole incident.
    The geographical location of this incident was the Straits of Hormuz. 40 miles at its widest, around 16 miles at its narrowest. The sea lanes (just think a road on the sea and instead of markings you have bouys) are 6 miles wide which while looking pretty wide to the mind is not that wide at all when you take into account how long it takes a boat to stop.
    http://www.lib.utexas.edu/maps/middle_east_and_asia/iran_strait_of_hormuz_2004.jpg
    The captain of any warship traversing the straits would only be too aware of the Iranian Anti-shipping missile capabilities(ASM)
    The C802 (ASM) which hit the INS Hanit was supplied by Iran to Hezbollah. The Saar 5 class of which the Hanit belongs to is purported to be one of the most advanced capable stealth ships going yet it still got hit.
    http://www.naval-technology.com/projects/saar5/
    Any ship which travels up or down the straits of Humuz will be under the eye of the Iranians for over 100 miles. In that space the Iranians will have seeded the area with base plates (launching pads) for truck mounted ASMs
    The C802 Missile has a range of around 120 Klicks and is compatible to the tomahawk which is better than the Exocet
    http://www.sinodefence.com/navy/navalmissile/c802.asp

    http://www.raytheon.com/products/stellent/groups/public/documents/content/cms01_055764.pdf

    http://www.mbda-systems.com/mbda/site/FO/scripts/siteFO_contenu.php?lang=EN&noeu_id=105

    In other words any incident which kicks off in the Straits could see the launch of numerous Iranian ASMs at the surface target and the destruction of that target. At a stroke the Iranians would have a propaganda victory. The Americans could and most likely would retaliate however the easy targets they faced during the Iraq/Iran war are no longer there. While the Iranians would suffer losses they would have no problem coming out the winner. Which in turn would bolster the regime at home. (lets be honest if Saddam hadn’t of invaded would Iran be the same Iran of today?) America on the otherhand can not afford to take losses. The opening of another war.
    And the very real risk of Iran taking the gloves off and overtly supplying the idiots in Iraq and Afghanistan. Serious American losses would in turn (in the run up of the Elections) see the withdrawal card been played and Iranian hegemony of the region beginning.
    Lets be serious here the Iranians are not as stupid as we would like to think they are.
    While Iran bangs its drum against America and Israel its real enemy is its neighbours. It hasn’t forgotten how they backed Saddam
    (And judging by the arms spending in the region, neither have they) neither has it forgotten the Russian/Anglo invasion of 1941.
    The Iranians quite rightly fear invasion and as such have done all they can in which to ensure they never get invaded again. The drumbeat is there simply for Islamic public opinion. Even with the Iranian attempts of Sudetenland in the region in which to build a buffer the public in the region do not see Tehran as a threat.
    But back to the story at hand. Any shooting war between an American navyship and a speedboat would see Iran lose 3-4 very small boats and the Yanks possibly a Navyship and their presence in the region.
    Oh and the otherside of the story, how about a slap in the face just prior to Bush visiting the region. I mean would he have continued if a shooting war had started. Again another propaganda coup for the Mullahs. I mean lets be serious here. How come the Iranians always have a TV crew on hand when the shit hits the fan in the region. They had one on hand when they kidnapped the British sailors and again the otherday. Look at how professional they are when compared to the amateur clips handed out by the Yanks.
    As I keep on telling my friends the Iranians are not as stupid as they wish to let us think they are.

    OH and before somebody mentions the Yanks had a Ticonderoga class on their side. Yes it is the most advanced air defence warship going however the boat tactics used by the Iranians (swarm) shows how their mindset works. On that note could the ship stop 5 or more missiles all launched at the same time? I don’t know but I wouldn’t like to put it to the test.
    http://www.naval-technology.com/projects/ticonderoga/

    As for the soundclip. The New York Times mentioned that their was no ambient noise in the back ground. In 1982 I used a Throat mic while piloting my Combat Support boat in the Falklands. What was Mil tech then can be bought over the net now.
    A throat mic has 2 microphones any noise which is duplicated is cancelled out only one way noise in picked up.
    http://www.clearercom.com/
    Now if I used one in Stanley harbour in which to speak to Ships while pushing 30 knots in a little tin boat. I sure the Iranians have access to the same tech but 25 years later.
    http://www.army.mod.uk/img/equipment/ab/ab_csb/ab_csb.jpg
    Note that is the mark 1, the Brits are using the mark 2 version.
    http://data3.primeportal.net/bridging/ulrich_wrede/combat_support_boat/images/combat_support_boat_007_of_251.jpg

  2. Bert Preast — on 17th January, 2008 at 12:39 pm  

    “It said the Filipino Monkey, who could be more than one person”

    Filipino Monkey IS more than one person, there are hundreds if not thousands and they can be heard at sea through the Gulf, Indian and Pacific oceans. Some maybe radio hams but most are bored and poorly paid watchkeepers on merchant ships. They bang on for hours trying to get someone to take the bait and tell them to fuck off, whereupon they really go to town abuse wise.

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