Is there anyone left with an internet connection who is unawre of the man, nay the legend that is Glasgow Airport baggage handler John Smeaton?
For the unfamiliar and those like me who grin from ear to ear at anything Smeaton related. He was one of the members of the public who tackled the admittedly rubbish terrorists at Glasgow Airport on Saturday. Ah John, what is not to love about a man who witnesses a terrorist attack thinks to himself ‘whits the score here, we need tae get this sorted’.
However unlike the others John was interviewed and rather than adopt a formal manner for being on the telly showed himself to be at ease in front of the cameras by chatting amiably away in his everyday Glasgow dialect. As a result viewers in America were baffled as John told CNN he ‘wis oot fur a fag’ and the world stunned by his comparison of the explosions in the car as being like ‘when ye throw a can of deodorant ontae a bonfire’.
However the ‘accent barrier’ aside most of us have been charmed by his simple message to the terrorists ‘This is Glasgow, we’ll set about ye’. Indeed we shall, as the author of the fine tribute website points out, ‘nobody gets between 10,000 Weegies and a Â£99 week in Ibiza booked on Thursday night through Barrhead Travel.’ Not on the great Smeato’s watch.
However events have taken a darker turn it would appear that Smeaton’s bosses at Airways are displeased with our hero and he’s rumoured to be facing disciplinary action for talking to the press! Though he is also rumoured to be addressing an awestruck and grateful nation on ‘Reporting Scotland’ tomorrow night. There is, it has to be said an air of mystery about all things Smeaton related. That’s part of his allure.
Like the man himself ‘Smeatomania’ is unstoppable. You can buy badges, t-Shirts and posters. Flower Of Scotland has been rewritten to include Smeaton’s heroics, attempts are being made to have him added to the bill at T In The Park, have June 30th declared ‘Smeaton day’, Glasgow Airport renamed in his honour, suggestions made that he be knighted, given the freedom of every city in Scotland, made defence minister, prime minister, given parts in Still Game and River City, an appearance on Big Brother, women are offering themselves to the Smeat. In short we haven’t seen the like since the Beatles and it took four of them to get everyone going.
I’m pleased to say despite the best attempts of a minority of racists, Islamophobes, conspiraloons and humourless bigots to derail the Smeato tribute site. It’s remained a place of merriment and has surpassed it’s aim of raising enough to buy the man 1000 pints. Do drop in and leave your message of adoration for our John.
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Filed in: Humour,Uncategorized