Coalition Christmas announcements: 0AD


by Rumbold
24th December, 2010 at 11:10 am    

Andrew Lansley: Due to the financial mess inherited from the previous Labour government, we have had to reduce spending on the NHS. However, don’t despair, as this has enabled us to outsource many essential tasks to private providers. Gone are the boring standard maternity wards, replaced by stables with mangers in them.

George Osborne: The three wise men did bring expensive items into this country it’s true. But since they were only visiting for forty days, they are classed as non-domiciled; given that they earnt the money for these items elsewhere they won’t be taxed on them. The fact that these three businessmen recently donated gold, frankincense and myrrh to the Conservative party is neither here nor there.

Nick Clegg: We had to form an agreement with the Roman Empire. Judea wasn’t a viable state in this world. Now thanks to our agreement, we can get wine from Gaul and slaves from the Rhine. Isn’t that what all our people want?

Iain Duncan Smith: Baby Jesus has a very rich, absent father. The idea that he should receive taxpayer-funded child benefit is wrong. Mary needs to take responsibility for her actions too.

Vince Cable: I am going to teach those Pharisees a lesson if they want to expand their temple. It’s war. Hang on, you are not random members of the public are you? I see that parchment in your hands! You are scribes!

Ed Davey: I hate working with Augustus and the Roman empire. It was much better when it was just King Herod and the other Jews. I don’t mind taking his sesterii though.


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  1. sunny hundal

    Blogged: : Coalition Christmas announcements: 0AD http://bit.ly/eajxT8


  2. Duncan Weldon

    RT @sunny_hundal: Blogged: : Coalition Christmas announcements: 0AD http://bit.ly/eajxT8


  3. Aisha

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  4. WestMonster

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  5. cheesley

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  6. Pickled Politics » Coalition Christmas announcements: 0AD | The Daily Conservative

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  8. Humphrey Cushion

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  9. Eileen Allen

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  10. Lins Noir

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  11. Pickled Politics » Coalition Christmas announcements: 0AD | Christmas

    [...] Permalink to the original post: Pickled Politics » Coalition Christmas announcements: 0AD [...]




  1. douglas clark — on 24th December, 2010 at 11:33 am  

    Rumbold,

    You surpass yourself. Had to check out the spelling of ‘surpass’ as it looked odd, but it was right. I have now picked up ‘Tips for a tiny belly’ too.

    You are a genius.

    Seriously.

  2. Jai — on 24th December, 2010 at 12:04 pm  

    Very good, Mr Rumbold.

  3. Rumbold — on 24th December, 2010 at 2:16 pm  

    Thank you both.

  4. douglas clark — on 24th December, 2010 at 2:45 pm  

    Rumbold,

    Is this the Christmas thread?

    No it isn’t.

    When are we going to get a Christmas thread where I can hang loose and say what I want about you and earwicga and, heavens, Sunny? And even Jai? And you and they can say what the hell they want too?

    We need a review of the year at the very least, what with Swiss minarets and burkhas’.

    I, sadly, cannot insist on this, but you can…..

  5. Rumbold — on 24th December, 2010 at 3:16 pm  

    When are we going to get a Christmas thread where I can hang loose and say what I want about you and earwicga and, heavens, Sunny?

    Tomorrow…

  6. douglas clark — on 24th December, 2010 at 3:29 pm  

    Rumbold,

    Cool. Us ex-christian spendthrifts welcome our new, very late, global masters. :-)

    Err…

    Can I really say what I like? You’d better not let anyone else know. They could be really, err, rude ;-)

  7. earwicga — on 24th December, 2010 at 4:06 pm  

    Nice one Rumbold :)

  8. Sunny — on 24th December, 2010 at 4:59 pm  

    LAAAARVE IT!

  9. KJB — on 24th December, 2010 at 7:16 pm  

    *applause*

  10. KB Player — on 24th December, 2010 at 10:01 pm  

    Very funny, Rumbold.

  11. Don — on 25th December, 2010 at 12:51 am  

    Merry Christmas, all.

  12. douglas clark — on 25th December, 2010 at 7:47 am  

    Rumbold,

    You might like this:

    http://www.truth-out.org/untellable-truths65905

    Anyway, merry christmas!

  13. halima — on 25th December, 2010 at 12:37 pm  

    Merry Christmas everyone !

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